About a week ago, SO and I had a very serious discussion about OUR life. I've been so unhappy living where we do. We live in a town that is dead center in between our hometowns. My bios attend my hometown schools, and his SD is court ordered to attend school in SO's former hometown. BM lives about 4 hours south of us. They have 50/50 EOW placement. BM is required to maintain SD's schooling, and must make the drive EOW. She's not happy doing this, as she recently remarried. They fought it out in court, but alas, it's still 50-50. BM stays at a family friends house during her placement.

SD is shuffled constantly. Both SO and BM do not involve SD in anything after school related, as neither of them are willing. BM doesn't want to be here and won't have any ties to that community, and SO isn't one of those "involved" parents. He takes her to school, picks her up, and brings her home, to sit in front of the tv. No real conversations, no games, no nothing. I don't know how BM is other than she is said to play on her computer all of the time.

My kids are the ones who are involved in everything in my hometown, and since I'm constantly there, as well as all of my friends and family, it only seems right to move back there. I want my kids to grow up with that sense of community. Where they can ride their bike to their friends house, or school. I wouldn't mind if SD came with us, but it's going to be one hell of a battle getting her to come, seeing as her BM wants SD all to herself (court battles were about wanting sole, primary custody). So, I've told SO that he can come with me (with or without SD) or he can move back to his hometown, and maintain his current placement with SD. I'm not living a half life anymore. He was upset, and cried, but it's time to make a choice about what kind of life he expects all of us to endure because of a court order that neither he or his ex agree with.

We are also supposed to be getting married next spring, and I told him that I won't marry him until we decide once and for all where we are going to live, so we can plan for our future. I don't want to get married again, only to divorce a few years down the road.

It's hard to get all of the information in this blog, and it seems harsh of me to do, but the constant running, and the fact that he does NOTHING to involved his kid in anything at her school, well, it's tiresome, and I'm done being the one on the run. I've seen so many women talk about the life that they wish they had, and thanks to a few of you one here, I'm making that happen. Six years of waiting around for SD's schedule to change is enough for me. I'm possibly that worst person in the world, or I've found my balls again. I'm really not sure which yet.