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Had a talk with the SKIDS at dinner Thursday

c-mom's picture

Submitted by c-mom on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 9:03pm

So, I spent Thursday with my pastor and his wife. Meant to talk about my dad but the conversation evolved to me and the skids. He said that I need to try again to be a friend, and nothing but a friend, to skids so we are going with that. At dinner I explained to them that I really would like things to change around here. I want it to go back to how it was when we used to enjoy being with each other. I told them I was going to try, only one more time, to be their friend and that I would really like them to try to change their attitudes as well so I am willing to make the first move. I sat and initiated conversation with the family at dinner and have been going out of my way to be exactly that. Nothing but a friend to them. I've slipped a couple times on telling them what to do but they seem to be responding better to things I ask of them now that they see me going out of my way to try to make everybody happy again. I'm sure it won't last long because their mom hasn't called for 5 days and as soon as she starts calling again, we will be right back at square one, but at least for now there is peace in our house. I still need a vacation though. Ooh! Also, hubby has decided to try for a job and put the business on the back burner so if he gets it (crossing my fingers) he will be home before the kids every day. I won't have to deal with them at all. Biggrin

Comments

RandE559's picture

Submitted by RandE559 on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:37am

Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I've also tried to keep the peace by not getting onto the skids about picking up after themselves but my goodness they do not pick up after there selves! DH and mother in law said I need too get onto them because I am not the maid and they will only take advantage and walk all over me. I guess in a way I let my household get turned upside down so that DH and mother in law would see it for themselves that these skids of mine are lazy, messy kids and once they realized that I would have their full support. Well, as far as being their "friend" goes we are their step PARENT and that means supporting your DH and helping him parent. BM also hasn't text or called in about a week, it's the calm before the storm right now. We are at a point where we not let BM disrupt our household nor let any child in our household think the can run the show no matter what dramatic nonsense they try and pull. Being on the same page with your DH is key by focusing less on the drama and more on what makes you happy and the things you enjoy doing together and as a family.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 8:20am

i hope this all works out for you. it certainly is possible. in my case, sd did not respond to my efforts. i tried many times to make things work and had many talks with her and the whole family. i did it for bs. i wanted things to be good for him. but after a few days, she couldn't take it anymore and had to go right back to being a little twat again. so i gave up on her. then she has a kid and expects everyone to unite and bond over him. apparently she thinks her child is more important than mine. too bad for her, i was done with her ass before he was ever thought of. she doens't like how things are now, but that's her own damn fault. it sounds like your skids are already more receptive to making things better than she ever was, so i think you have a shot.