MIL dislikes MY children because they are spoiled...
One of the few tidbits that dh let me in on a few days ago when we were having teh heart to heart re: inlaws, ss, and dh's role in the issues.
I told him, if the inlaws didnt want to like me, that was, well, whatever, but how can grown adults dislike innocent children, their own flesh and blood? And his answer was because mil thinks they are spoiled. Thinks they have too many things, get too much of what they want.
It confused me as my ss14 lived here until almost 10 years of age. Got exactly the same "things" as all the other kids plus whatever he got over at the bm's. So he got MORE. But they apparently dont think he's spoiled.
I told dh that the kids are very fortunate as they do get alot of material things (not EVERY thing) but lots of things-however I also insist that they do what they are supposed to do and are earning it by doing what is expected. Grades, behavior, helping around the house are all things these kids do on a regular basis. Which makes it easier for me to provide them with things they want.
I didnt get it at first because if you line my 3 kids up next to all of mil's other grandkids-it's not even a contest. My kids are by far and away more polite, better behaved, stay out of trouble, smarter, better looking-just better everything (I know I sound like a snot here-but we are comparing my kids to kids that fail at school, routinely get suspended, call my mil things like "my bitchass grandma", chew tobacco, do drugs, etc)But she prefers THEM to MY kids. WTF? I now realize that my MIL actually feels intimidated by my CHILDREN because they are simply better people than her. They give people the benefit of the doubt, tend to be very forgiving, always mannerly toward adults-have morals and values and it makes her feel bad to be around CHILDREN that are higher functioning and better people than her.
In the meantime she had to make up some lame excuse about them being spoiled. This one has always got to me-we provide our kids with things they need/want based on our income. I dont give them everything they want and like I said I have expectations for their behavior. In the meantime, the person I think is truly spoiled is my ss. There are no expectations for his behavior, he is able to do whatever he likes with no consequences. He is provided with all of his needs and some of his wants with no regard to his behavior nor attitude. He does not nor never has earned anything. He is 14 years old. My daughter, when she was 14, had a summer job. So who is spoiled, bitchass mil?
Sorry. Just my little rant for the day.
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Comments
Could be worse.... My in laws
Could be worse.... My in laws don't like my kids because they are "too white"
Um, wow.
Um, wow.
OMG racist idiots!!!
:jawdrop: OMG racist idiots!!!
What the heck is wrong with
What the heck is wrong with some people? My kids are older now-but were toddlers and infants when all this started with them not wanting anything to do them. I am not sure how they even live with themselves. My inlaws will not even acknowledge my kids if they see them in public. My kids are children and literally have never done anything to these nuts. Oh, well, I do know my kids are better off not being exposed to their crazy-it's just hard to explain to them sometimes.
My MIL told me my kids w/DH
My MIL told me my kids w/DH don't need grandparents because their parents aren't divorced. DH has 6 kids. IL's acknowledge only 3, and still are baffled that we cut off all contact.
I think this all stems from
I think this all stems from the first family thing. Technically your kids are not from the first most greatest family so there for they shall and will be held to a different standard, judged differently, and treated differently. I mean after all, they are not fully related to the bestest kid(s) and have never been through a divorce.
Um, geez-they also despise
Um, geez-they also despise ss's mom. She is an alcoholic/addict and has been really nasty to mil in the past. Also, ss has told many many horror stories about bm to mil-but ss is still a golden child. I am apparently the devil and they think my children are my minions. They dont feel sorry for them nor want to rescue them only ss. I think honestly it is because ss is like them, lacking in morals and values. He fits in much better.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Sorry
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Sorry^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If my point of view is a little off. I'm having one of those days today.
Just have them call her
Just have them call her bitchass now and again so she'll feel more at home.
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This is great. Love it. LOL!!!!!
Cheriwilson I think this is
Cheriwilson I think this is the funniest and most insightful thing I've heard today
Isnt it puzzling? I pride
Isnt it puzzling? I pride myself on raising my bd8 to be a productive, moral, mannered adult. Yet when baking with my best friend the other day, we were talking about my steps and her steps, she said "your SO said that bd8 was too perfect, and that is not normal"
First of all, uh, nooooo she isnt. Secondly, yes she has manners and gets called out on bad behavior, is expected to not interrupt adults, pick up after herself and do a few daily chores. But I thought that was normal??? If you have ever read anything Ive written, his kids are disgusting, ungrateful, entitled, theives, liars, slobs. THAT is not normal.
So apparently, normal is in the eye of the beholder? I dunno HMandO, Im beginning to think there are more of "them" than there are "us"??
FDH parents do not like their
FDH parents do not like their grandkids. EXCEPT for the one they are raising. (he walks on water if you know what I mean) When FDH mother and me were more on speaking terms, the things she would say about her other grandkids, I just couldn't believe it. What made it even worse, it that her "gem" was the same way, but she never saw it. Still do this day she doesn't see it.
They literally only see their grandkids a few times a year and this is only because of the holiday's and birthday's. They have no realtionship with any of the grandkids and have no desire to do so. When fdh mother and me talked years ago, she almost had me fooled into the fact that it was the kids fault why they don't have a relationship with their grandkids.
It's not. I have realized that inside these people are extremely selfish, shallow, ugly people inside. (these are for other reason's besides the grandkids thing) Bottom line, they just have no desire to have a relationship with their grandkids. They can come up with every excuse in the world that they want, but that is the truth. They don't want it, and I don't understand that.
Unfortunately mine and fdh bd1 is at the very very bottom of that line. I shouldn't say unfortunately, cause it really is their loss.