It starts with the parents.

Maybe a guilty daddy, maybe a PASing BM. Maybe neither of those and both parents are just lazy and don't want to actually PARENT their kids.

Either way, it all boils down to the parents ALLOWING their kids to act this way from aa very young age. And never correcting the behavior.

I for one, am sick of it. The entitlement is overwhelming.

I am a product of not only divorce.... but my dad was "guilty daddy" my mom PAS'd me and I somehow turned out to be a normal functioning adult. I work hard for what I have and I don't ask anything of my ExH but for him to be a good dad. I don't know where I learned it from, because it certainly wasn't from my mom and dad... And I am determinded that my kids will not be entitled little brats.

I personally in my situation would say the parents created this disaster. My DH as well as his Ex. Divorced when SD16 was 5, she was used as a weapon, treated as a confident, talked to like an adult, treated as a partner, used as a pseudo parent for her sister, confided on about marital issues, you name it they did it.

DH and EXwife are to blame

I agree! (Most) skids are bratty, entitled, annoying, diseased, dirty, LOUD, demanding little shits! I am pretty positive I was never like this to my stepmom when I was little!
It's a result of poor parenting, bad co/parenting, lack of communication between bioparents. For sure! When men are married to their kids' biomom, biomom takes on most of the responsibility (as women usually do) but when divorced, men are forced to do all the work when he has his kids. Men are stupid and can't do anything 100% so they end up being lazy "Disney dads" who half-ass their way through the week or weekend with their kids. They simply "entertain" their kids instead of putting everything into parenting making sure they are turning into good, likeable poeple.

I am a biomom to my BS2 and I'm constantly thinking of my son; what he needs, how he's doing, feeling, is he smart enough? nice enough? What if someone kidnaps him, SHOOOTS him!! A mother's anxiety never ends and our whole life is our kid. Dads just don't think that way. They crave attention and affection. Some men (my son's dad) crave attention from women, and some Dads crave attention from their kids so they try to buy their love and suck up and kiss up and give the kid whatever he/she wants. It's disgusting and pathetic.

Wait now let's not get to far ahead of ourselves. You guys may have been in similair position's but the over all times were different when you lived it.

All kids (yes including my very own twin DD's13 have an entitlement issue. The difference is, I am very quick to crush their little entitlement dreams. I dont feed them.

These DH and BM feed the demons...

SD16 doesnt think she is entitled she does however thinks she is the other "adult" in my relationship and expects to be treated as one. Bu then again she expects not to ever speak to me in my own house except if she wants her hair done for Homecoming or something of the sort!

My bios are children of divorce and while they aren't perfect and the divorce did affect them, I never ever allowed them to use it as an excuse for bad behavior. Their bio dad has't been a part of their lives in years and I don't let them use THAT as an excuse for bad behavior either. They do something bad, they pay the consequences for it. I figure it's my job as their parent, and especially as their ONLY parent, to raise them to be good functioning members of society. And the rest of the world will not give a shit that they are children of divorce.

All I ever asked of my ex is to pay child support and be a good parent. He pays child support because the military makes him, but no one can make him be a damned parent and he chose not to.

DH is a lazy and guilty dad. There are never consequences for skids behavior so they keep repeating it. And Zeus forbid anyone say anything that even implies they aren't perfect little angels. BM is a lazy BM and would rather dump skids on everyone else rather than be their damned mother and take care of them.

I think its a combo of factors with my ss14. I think, first of all, he was just genetically loaded with all the worst traits of my bm and dh. My dh is a good man, but has some faults. SS has all of them. BM, can be rather craptastic, but she is not a HORRIBLE individual-ss has all of her worst traits. All of dh's and bm's other children that they had with other partners have all turned out ok and are nothing like ss. Nothing.

I think both dh and bm were very guilty. Bm willingly gave custody to dh when he was just 1. I think for many years she felt horribly guilty about that and was always trying to "make it up" to ss. Dh felt bm was a total loser and always felt guilty for choosing HER to be ss's mom so he was always trying to make it up to him.

Additionally, my dh had custody very early on but traveled out of town-so bm would keep him during those times. Dh had no set schedule-he could be gone 10 days in row or 90 days in a row-during those times bm would take ss back and keep him. This was when he was 8 months to almost 2 years of age. The kid had no stability whatsoever.

The lack of stability continued unfortunately. As ss grew older, bm entered into relationship after relationship. Every 9 months or so there was a new "daddy" in the house. Her substance abuse problems grew worse and she has done several stints in rehab. Our home was more stable, but that was due to me. Dh continued to travel for his job, ss stayed with me, then dh had two deployments to boot.

The kid is almost 15-he is a straight up asshole that bm has completely washed her hands of and whom dh hasnt seen in months.

My skids were spoiled brats before, even when my SO was married to princess juggelette. They were given every toy they ever wanted, taken out to dinner several nights per week, they won't even eat papa murphys take and bake pizza because its not good enough for them. They will whine like babies if they don't get what they want. He usually just ends up giving in to them because they are so annoying.

DH and BM never parented when they were together. From my understanding it was more of a annoy annoy annoy parents can't take it anymore so scream at the kids. It's still like that now with DH. The kids have no clue where the boundaries are so they push and push and push until they get yelled at at which they may or may not stop at that point. Let's not forget spoiling the crap out of the kids and giving them everything that their wittle hearts desire. Letting them nag and nag and nag until they get what they want after they have been told no multiple times.

The last two years of BM's and DH's marriage DH was pretty much done so he invested all of his time and attention into the kids. None of which was parenting. So now you two little kids that can't do a damn thing on their own like entertain themselves and are glued up DH's a$$ every waking second because nobody ever left them alone to learn how to be independent. And giving them everything that their wittle hearts desire. Letting them nag and nag and nag until they get what they want after they have been told no multiple times.

Then there is the post divorce parenting which is worse then the pre divorce parenting. It's all done out of guilt because they only get their kids every other week so let them run wild, tear the house up, and what ever you do no punishments and no boundaries. Devoting every waking second of your time entertaining them, kissing their wittle a$$es and giving them adult status.

Oh don't forget about the, "I want them to like me the best parenting." That one can go on for forever. Nobody wants to punish on either side because there is a competition of which parent the kids will like the best and we all know that the parent that doesn't parent will win. There are no boundaries, inadequate punishments (if any), behaviors that just some how go unnoticed (somehow), excuses as to why they can't parent, out of control kids, and this list can go on and on as you all know.

And what's the end result? Two little kids that nobody really likes to be around for any extended period of time other then their parents and grandparents. They are annoying and embarassing. They have no respect for any adult figure or authoritive figure. They have behavioral issues at school and way to much power at home. They don't listen and can barely follow the rules because and I quote, "they forgot." They nag until they get their way. Everything is unfair. They are mean to each other and are constantly fighting or trying to get each other in trouble. They feel entitled to whatever they want in life and have no problem sh!ting on anybody who gets in their way. They are physically agressive and will lie right to your face even when you catch them in the act. They have no problem stealing by any means neccessary i.e. lying, bullying, and intimidating others. They will go to extremes like I've never seen to get attention because apparently they aren't getting enough. (Which is BS.) And they think the sun rises and sets on their wittle a$$es. These kids are only 5 and 7. Can you just imagine what they are going to be like when they get older?

I am. I just don't understand how you could let your kids get to that point. I love my daughter to much to let her behave like they do. I want her to grow up to be a wonderful person, be able to work for what she wants, have real relationships with people, be able to hold down a job, and just be a good person all around.

I just don't see how both DH and BM can think that they are actually doing them any good. All their doing is being selfish about what they want and not thinking about what's in the best interest of the kids. It's sad really because it's not the kids faults.

I think what happens is that both parents often feel guilty when they first divorce. In most divorces there is not immediately an SO of either parent (unless one of them is cheating). So, when either parent has the kids it all abotu the kids... kidtime... making sure the little precious kids are happy, even if they are children of divorce.

The thing is, that the kids dont often get this treatment before the divorce. The kids start to get used to this new kidtactular world, until the evil step-parent comes into the picture.

When a step-parent comes into the picture, the parent usually wants to spend some time with the new step-parent (or gf/bf at that point), which takes time away from the little precious kids.

And then the step-parent usually asks that the kid be taken off of "adulkt" status as far as adult decision making goes, and be put back into kid status.

That is when skid and BM get mad. And when parent and the new step-parent have kids of their own, then the real fireworks begin, as most COD think that the world should just begin and end with them.