So, here's the rundown of what has been happening lately.

Kids had their first "grandparent supervised" visit with BM two weeks ago. They are scheduled for another one on Saturday. There is a court hearing tomorrow to try to prevent it. Here's why:

BM's parents own a rinky dink motel in a small town 45 minutes from here. The visits are supposed to be there. SO is supposed to transport kids there and back. BM is supposed to pay child support with a little extra for gas (We have seen none of that by the way). The day before the last court hearing, SO was deposed by BM's attorney and mistakenly said that when BM and her ex boyfriend (the step son of current boyfriend) broke into the house and stole a bunch of items he thought they took the log splitter with them. Actually, SO had given the log splitter to his nephew who has a farm. BM's attorney whips out an emailed face book page screen shot where said nephew thanks SO on his fb page. BM has no access to the fb page and the email was from darling MIL who has always maintained that she is not getting involved. This starts a text war between SO and MIL wherein MIL says fair is fair and that the log splitter could have been sold to support the kids. SO points out that BM has paid no child support for 8 months and yet there seems to be no moral outrage about that, and on top of that BM filed a motion for a non-hypothecation order (after the log splitter was given away) so that argument goes out the window as well. Long story short, SO told MIL that he's done with her and them and that they get nothing more than court ordered stuff from now on.

The day before the visit MIL asks that we send pajamas because they are going to keep the kids until 8pm. SO says no way the order says 9-5 (it didn't but judge said that in court). SO's attorney calls the judge and asks for clarification because the order didn't have time limits and judge agrees it's 9-5. He lets MIL know and she demands that he have the judge call her so she can clarify a few things. First of all, you dumb bitch, he doesn't have direct access to the judge, and second it's called an ex parte communication and judges are prohibited from them so he's not just going to snap to because you want him too. I laughed out loud when SO told me that. As punishment, she relinquished her previous offer of picking up the kids when they pick up BM and SO was forced to drive the kids to York in the worst fog I have ever seen. I went to the store after he left and literally couldn't see more than 2 feet in front of my car the entire scary 3 block drive.

End of the visit comes and MIL "graciously" offers to drive kids back to our town. We agree because honestly, what's the harm right? She also texts us and says the visit went amazingly and the kids had a total blast. We are relieved and I start making dinner. Kids don't get home until 6:30 and they are downstairs screaming up at the window because FIL doesn't bother to call us and say we are here. Kids come inside and all hell breaks loose. The wonderful visit, it turns out, was anything but. Here's the blow by blow:

The two younger ones are caked in dirt and the SD2 has a diaper that is actually overflowing. I put them in the tub immediately. While getting that going SD9 comes to me and tries to show me her thumb. She hit it with a hammer. I am a bad mom because I tell her I will deal with that in a minute, and she goes to search out SO. After the kids are settled in the tub I go to find SD9 and find her, SO and SD6 in our bathroom. The girls are hysterical. SD9 is in excruciating pain as her nail is right over a huge hematoma and her thumb is swollen. SD6 is sobbing because during the visit, BM put her hands around her throat and it scared her terribly. On the way home, they stopped at BM's to drop her off and BM forced SD9 to carry items into her home, and when she was looking around curiously, her mom grabbed her by the neck and "toured her around the home" saying oh you want to see what's going on here so you can report back to your dad, let's go I will give you a tour. Meanwhile her bf, the barely literate hispanic gentleman, is getting high in his room. SD9 says the house smelled weird. BM starts yelling at him to get his "spic ass" the "fuck outside" and help her unload the car. Then she brings him out to meet the kids. All of which is exactly what supervised visits are supposed to prevent.

Kids also stated that when they came inside after SD9's finger got hit, mom was swaying all over the place and knocking into furniture. SD9 says, she was drunk. No way to prove that (although BM when sober doesn't remember introducing the kids to her boyfriend). SD9 has to go to the emergency room because SO doesn't have the heart to pierce her nail to relieve the pressure. He was fit to be tied.

Next day he texts MIL and says anything you want to tell me about the visit. She says like what? He lays out the list of things the kids say happen and not only does she not deny them, she tries to explain them away! So you knew all this happened but didn't think it bore mentioning to us you dumb hick? Total disaster. She doesn't deny BM was drinking, just dances around the issue saying how well BM is doing since she got sober....except the next night BM shows up at the hospital demanding medical records. SO works there and got the call from security that she was "totally shitcanned" The next morning in the safety huddle, SO finds out she was again abusive to staff and was considered a "critical incident."

Fast forward to this week. Kids have their school program on Tuesday. SO has maintained radio silence with the IL's, not that it has stopped the ridiculous texts. We get there, and BM shows up with her parents. I made sure I was dressed to the nines, and we sat with a couple that they used to be friends with before BM got drunk and accused the wife of wanting to sleep with SO in a crowded restaurant. BM disappears numerous times and goes back stage to see the kids (also not supposed to happen) and later SD9 tells me that her mom was super embarassing and that her teacher yelled at her because BM was back there and wasn't supposed to be.

As we are leaving, after SD9 was done, BM starts shooting me daggers and making comments. I look her square in the eye, challenging her to say another word, and she breaks eye contact and starts pouting. God that felt good.

So that's where we are. We have filed a motion to stop the gp supervision and my hope is the judge will be pissed because he gave her yet another chance and she again blew it. And as far as the IL's are concerned, my position is (SO can make up his own mind) screw them on any visits on their own. They want visits, come to our town and attend the supervised. But hey, I'm a bitch that way.