What?! A BM creating chaos to fk up her ex's chances of finding happiness? She means well and tries so hard. She's just not good at, like, planning things or doing things, you know. Lol. 

Baggage can be a non starter when dating single moms too.

I had no plan, but DW is the 5th of 5 moms I dated after my divorce.  Though there were several others who did not have kids. 

All 5 had just one kid.  The first was a short term GF and I never met her son. We dated when her son was with his dad.  Our relationship fit into the visitation schedule so no SKid related drama.  The second I dated for about a year and did meet her son.  The son went to live with the dad when the dad moved his family overseas for work.  She was never a life partner contender. Her life was pretty much a trainwreck.  The third was a wonderful woman with a mid to late teens daughter who was really an outstanding young woman. I did meet the daughter and we did have a couple of dinners out with the three of us. The fourth was a trainwreck in her own right and her kid was a rabid ranting out of countrol 6yo who did a great near constant impression of a meltdown tantrum throwing 2yo.  She had an on again off again BF who was not the baby daddy but who had been in the kid's life since the kid was a baby.  She stood me up on a date on a Friday night so... I called the number on a small piece of paper that had been left for me with the admin after an interview.

That call changed my life.  My DW of 30+ years had decided to leaver her number with the admin when I had bantered with her prior to an interview while she and one of her classmates were researching companies in the Dun & Bradstreet corporate register in the graduate placement office at University. Back in the days before Google, etc...

There was no plan to ever remarry. However, I also would not invest in building a close relationship with people who were not long term partner material.  I wasn't long term partner material until years after my divorce.   Company, going out to dinner, doing things of interest, etc.. was my focus while I was completing my undergrad as a SOTA (Student Older Than Average).  I dated quite a bit in that 3  years. Then within a month or two I met 4 women who were all life partner material.  I had whittled it down to one, then I met my DW.  The one I was dating somewhat seriously when I met DW was the niece of a former governor and cabinet secretary. My parents and hers had gone to University together and I went to University with her elder brother. Her dad and mine had grown up together in the Middle East though her dad was half a dozen years older than mine.  She was in undergrad at a different university in the same state when I was in engineering school.  I had TG plans with her at her Uncle;'s (The Gov's/Secretary of the Interior's) house when I met my DW.  I canceled those plans. The rest as they say, is history.

We are still cordial. That relationship was close but never intimate so there was not baggage to navigate when I backed out of TG with her family. I had been to several of her family gatherings over many years and we have kept in touch.  I attended both of her brother's weddings, and her parents funerals.  My mom and dad take her and her DH to dinner when they are in her neck of the woods on an RV trip.

I suppose I am fortunate to nave not hitched my star to a parenting performance challenged prior breeder before meeting my incredible bride. Who though she did have a kid, is truly an incredible and amazing person. That was instantly clear to me on our first date that is still going, 31+ years later.

In the case of toxic spawn still attached to the X's noxious self.