Ways to Irritate and other things to do when there's other things to do.
So, in my adventures of life post graduation and 18, Princess Powersulk Do Nada, Our Lady of Inertia, goddess of Sloth hasnt done that much differently. Im just expecting things to be different, but they arent. Except child support is no longer going out 'da house.
Ive tried everything I could think of:
1. Task delegation
2. Asking arrival departure times/days
3. Printing out "how to get your id" and higlighting with added sticky notes.
4. Fake crying "this is stressing me out! I cant handle the powersulking!"
5. Taking time off and requiring "the house to myself" for the next several weeks.
6. Causing arguments with husband.
Nothing has worked so far...I think because I was operating under the assumption that they actually CARE how I FEEL.
So, now I need new stuff. I already discussed taking out money. He said "ok, do that".
Some new things Ive thought of:
1. Leaving heaps of dishes in the sink, and never doing them while shes there.
2. Getting up early on the weekends and running around like crazy, and running the vaccume, blasting the radio.
3. Taking all the food out. Boiling all the eggs, and eating them before she can get to them. Any and all food comes from Husband (although I am already doing this...I made the mistake of assuming that since this is festival weekend, she'd actually WANT to stay with her mother in Beach Town, and bought some food)
4. Being long gone all day for festival. Taking all the ice away in my cooler. Taking all the ice away period daily...she likes her ice water.
5. Recording HER in the house with her Power Sulk mode full-on. Any interaction really.
6. More task delegation on a per day basis, adding undone to the new daily, to include the weekend, and she needs to get it done BEFORE going out.
7. Being scary nice and just accepting things, and not bothering about really anything to do with powersulk, at all.
8. I NEED MORE IDEAS!
- CLove's blog
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Comments
Stop caring, stop cooking,
Stop caring, stop cooking, stop cleaning (if challenged by your DuH, look surprised and say that as his daughter has bugger all to do all day you figured she'd be doing all that to earn her keep. If he gets mad, point out that its his job to tell her what to do, not yours) pretend she doesn't exist, find things to do that bring you pleasure.
Joy suckage
Ive totally been the intertia queen also...
BUT have just started taking my time off, to the beach was yesterdays adventure. And havent cooked while SDPSDNOLIGOS has been "visitationing".
I see you’ve entered your
I see you’ve entered your rage/villain era of step life. Welcome I was there a few years ago and was bound and determined to make life a living hell for DH and Spawn, but in reality, all I was doing was driving myself crazy obsessing over something neither of them cared about. The best way to handle this is to go out and live your best life and not even acknowledge them. I did this with Spawn a long time ago and despite me talking about her on here, she doesn’t even really take up any head space for me anymore. As for DH it took longer for me to start living my best life rather than waiting around hoping he would get better. It’s taken him some time, but he notices, he follows me around like a sad sack after work looking for my validation and for the most part I ignore. It’s finally dawning on him that I meant what I said, I’m giving the same energy I get. Give the same energy you get Clove, focus on you and your happiness.
Beach
Ive been taking time off that was SORELY needed.
Yesterday (Tuesday) amid perfection in weather and temperature, I skedaddled to the beach.
What exactly does she do all
What exactly does she do all day now? Is she looking for a job? I think if she doesn't want to get a job OR sign up for school she should be sent to live at her lazy moms
No freaking clue
As I am gone AT WORK for 10 hours on the daily. I guess I could have a nanny cam to record the nothingness.
For what purpose? Your
For what purpose? Your husband doesn't care. Sloth queen doesn't care. It will only chap your ass watching the video.
I can use it
To poke him when Im the mood...
What do you get out of poking
What do you get out of poking him? picking a fight? how does it improve your life? your marriage?
I understand you are frustrated with this outcome.. but you do really want to make them suffer and that is a punishment from you to make them suffer.. you are punishing them and trying to make them feel at least some of the hurt, inconvenience, discomfort that you have felt.
In a way though.. it kind of makes you the "worse" person.. because they are not doing what they are doing to make you suffer.. they are doing what they are doing because they just prefer their lives like the way they are living them. Now, the result of you watching them live their "best life" is that you are upset because it chaps you to work while others get a free ride.. but they are not taking the free ride to get under your skin.. they are doing it for much more basic reasons.
so instead of the passive aggressive intent to spoil for a fight.. why not address your problem head on.. and that is that you don't want his daughter lazing around in your home.. and you don't want your household assets going to support a lazy adult.
CLOVE..
CLOVE..
Here is the problem.. you are doing all these double secret probation things.. and no one really cares.. or if they care about the annoyances.. they just think you are being an Ahole. Nothing you are doing is likely to push any of them to do anything different.
What is your goal. just to be annoying and make them as irritated as you possibly can.. is THAT the end GOAL?
Or is your end goal to have your "goddess of sloth" no longer living in your home.. aka.. she is not a resident.. but may come by to visit dad.. but not stay over and have that room to yourself.
Or.. is your goal for her to miracle like be motivated to work, get her license.. her passport and be the nice little munchkin you used to think was your buddy?
Is your goal to divorce your husband and be done with them all? lol
WHAT do you want... because you need to figure THAT out and plainly communicate that.. no more passive aggressive petty BS that has no clear goal or outcome..and only serves to keep you centrally mired in the drama.. and being a full participant to the dysfunction.
I think you are probably fooling yourself if you think you can make yourself a big enough irritant that she will leave on her own accord. She is related to a mother who has zero moral compass.. and a sister that has no pride in how low she has stooped either.. and your husband is lazy and would be fine just letting you suffer.. as long as he can fish and drink beer with his barnacle buddy. She has both nature and nurture against her.. her genetic makeup from parents.. crap.. her parenting from both parents.. crap.
I, unfortunately, think you have little leverage here because your husband just doesn't care all that much.. he is fine how things are.. and isn't concerned that you aren't.
Now.. you cannot care more than her parents.. would her being employed.. going to school.. getting her license be good for her? sure and obv it would be in your interest for her to launch because it would be easier for her to want to be on her own than you to have to push for it... yeah.. of course.. can YOU do one thing to make any of that happen?. NOPETY NOPE.
So, if you want something to happen.. you have to make it a hill to die on. And that means plainly going to your husband and saying.
I am not going to allow your daughter to live here .. even part time.. unless she is going to school AND working at least a part time job. Or.. if she isn't.. and you want her here.. YOU will pay ME 500 dollars a month to compensate for the use of her room.. and to compensate ME for the aggravation of dealing with this extra person.. and if he chooses the money.. and you give him that option. then you have to just STFU basically and deal with her being there.. and not "care" that she is slothing. You can insist her room be kept sanitary.. and house rules on guests etc.. but you can't continually push for her to "adult".. he will be buying your silence there.. and you will have to proverbially "let it goooo" I might also suggest in that vein.. that if you are getting compensated for her presence.. stop trying to figure out how to annoy her with chores.. just make your husband do the stuff you don't feel like doing.. if he wants to enlist his kid.. that's on him.
But, again.. what do you want your outcome to look like.. and tell your husband plainly that. if that isn't workable for him.. he can tell you that and you can go to a divorce atty.
Goalz
Im just frustrated and the Irritation Game is my kind of venting fun. Because Im WORKING or DRIVING for 10 hours on the daily, I need to vent the frustration because THEY ARENT GETTING IT.
So, Im suffering and my goal is that they BOTH should suffer alongside me. If I stop suffering, then they get the free pass from suffering as well.
I no longer CARE if she thrives and expands her life. I just want an end to the frustrationing.
Last night I did mention I get extra cash, so in that case I will pretty much STFU.
I think you should ask for
I think you should ask for the cash and put it in an acct he does not have access to. Then say nothing. If this goes on and on, use the nest egg to start over. Even with the cash, you won't be happy living with her long-term of she doesn't change. Also, it's California. $500 may be low. Also, do you think you can "play happy" while pocketing the cash, but have a date in your mind by which time you will leave if no change? It's a long game.
I mean.. Make the payoff
I mean.. Make the payoff worth the squeeze IMHO.. at least a full THIRD of all of the costs of her being in the home.. no less.. and maybe even a bit more for the PITA factor. is that 500 or 1000? I don't know her bills.
She could make the pay for stay offer.. but say it's only good until PS is 20.. or 21.. or whatever line in the sand.. and that there isa 10% increase annually? IDK.. she needs to put a stop date. I think.
House shares
House shares in California are around 700 MINIMUM. Where we specifically live because 30 miles in any direction it changes.
So, I low-balled at 300. For half that, I surely will try to "play happy". As much happy as I can muster.
So what you are saying is
So what you are saying is that you want an end to the frustration.. but you also want them to suffer.
Unfortunately.. I think they have a pretty high capacity for suffering.. lol.. probably greater than your capacity to suffer yourself.. haha.
You are saying two different things here. First.. you want them to suffer.. to punish them for not wanting what you want. You think PS should be doing something productive with her life. .they both don't care.. so you want to punish them for the difference in your opinions on how she lives her life.
Now.. you may not be able to change how she wants to live her life. .but via the cash payment.. you would no longer be subsidizing her lifestyle.
If you don't care about her thriving or expanding her life.. they why do you care what she does? is it just the unfairness of life? that some people get an apparent free ride? I mean.. you know that she is likely going to pay for her lack of motivation.. she will probably always be behind.. or like her mom.. from scam to scam to squeak by.
In your case.. but probably the most difficult to stand your ground on is THIS reality.
The only way that you will be more removed from the drama is if she isn't living in your home. Are you willing to take that big stand? Are you willing to tell your husband.. nope.. not working.. not going to school.. as far as I'm concerned that means she no longer has a room at my home. She doesn't have to do anything with her life.. but I'm not going to make it easy on her.. and I'm not going to sit here and watch it happen. she can be a loser at her mom's.
honestly.. that is the only way that you would have a chance to end the frustration.. because she wouldn't be there for you to see it.
Replace
Replace the word PUNISH for SUFFER, and you got that right.
I want husband to take that stand, because Im not willing to be the bad guy in their narrative. Although Im sure I already am.
And yes, Im at my happiest when she isnt at my home. Be a Loaf somewhere else.
Justice
I think Clove wants justice. (But, it won't come any time soon).
My dear girl, doesn't it make
My dear girl, doesn't it make you sad when you think of the mental energy you're putting into monitoring and being upset by this lazy adult in your house when it's exponentially more than the mental energy either one of them is burning........combined?
You're the only one who cares.
And the ONLY person you can really influence is your husband. The only............ONLY.............way this is ever going to change is when your husband feels the discomfort.
You have to have big balls to tell him you've had enough of this. Are you ready to make HIS life uncomfortable to get your message across? What are you willing to do? Go on strike and refuse to do ANYthing around the house because, if it's okay for HER, it should be okay for YOU, right? Be absent as much as possible? Not have sex with your husband? Charge your husband a fee for his adult squatter? Move out?
Your passive aggressive head games are not working. What's next? What are you willing to do?
I have been
I have been making husbands life uncomfortable as much as I can. And then they both gang up against me, cozy as pigs in chit.
Honey.. if you keep doing
Honey.. if you keep doing what you always have done.. you will get what you have always gotten.
You have been chief over functioner and apologizer for your husband. You have given him pass after pass.. and not just when it comes to munchkin of sloth. his buddy.. his desire to elevate fishing and drinkng beer.. over work.. over you.. over parenting. his deflecting all his responsibility and aka "worry" of his child's progress onto you..
"he isn't good with computers".. wahhhhh. you can show him and make him do it.. but nope.. you figured it was easier to let him off the hook.. so you sit where you sit.
They are dumb as doornails.. both him and his daughter are cut from pretty much the same cloth. They are not go getters.. they really don't have much self respect or pride.. they are also not very concerned with anyone's happiness but their own.. and they aren't smart enough to "get" that the reason you are being aggravating is due to their own shortcomings.. nope.. they just think you are being a jerk.. and they both gang up on you.. so is that what you would call winning?
And.. you can't imagine that doing more of the same is going to get you any kind of different result do you?
Bluntly it won't.
What might get you a different result is you being honest with your "life partner"
Maybe it goes like this.
"DH, I know I have probably been hard to live with the past few months at times.. honestly, I have been pretty frustrated and unhappy and I think you need to hear why. Bluntly, I am unhappy that I do everythign in my power to work hard, help support this household and be a productive member of society and a good wife to you.. and I have to stand by and watch you allow your daughter to go down the same path that her older sister and mother have gone. I am sick and tired of busting my hump on the daily while your daughter "rots" away in her room doing nothing. It is stealing all the joy from my life to have a front row view to her wasting her life and you standing by and doing nothing about it. Sure, you have had half hearted talks with your daughter but you have zero expectations.. you don't push her or help her do anything.. so nothing gets done. Parenting isn't just yelling and then going on like nothing has happened.. and not making any changes.. and I'm sick of it.. and I refuse to be part of this dysfunction any further. If you don't love your child enough to help her grow up and be a productive member of society.. that's your call.. but she isn't going to do nothing here any longer.. period.. I'm done with her sitting in that room.. and having to dodge her poor attitudes. She is over 18.. visitation is OVER.. if she is a resident of her mother's home.. then that is where her home will be. As of September 1, I want her gone. I know I said that I might consider some money difference.. but you know what.. no amount of money is worth my peace of mind.. and she is no longer welcome to live here. That is it.. I don't think there is anything that anyone can say or do to change my mind on that. You need to inform her that she needs to start moving her stuff.. . I'm sorry it has come to this.. but I have given you both all the time in the world to make some small amount of progress and nothing.. and if you don't care that much about her.. why do you care if she is here anyway.. I certainly don't..
Good points
Im going to add in the "launch date" per Clove, of January 2025
October 2024
Ooctober 2024 is better. Enough is ENOUGH!
That's not what I meant.
That's not what I meant.
If you're DOING things to make him miserable, you're DOING too much.
This is about NOT DOING anything and letting it be his problem.
STOP, and focus only on yourself. You cook for YOU. You clean for YOU. You only do things for you. I would check out and become self absorbed. Hit the gym. Go for hikes. Go see friends. Disengage completely.
Don't do ANYTHING for him or his offspring.
If he asks why, GO NUCLEAR. Tell him that this arrangement is unacceptable to you and you'll be focused on yourself because he clearly doesn't respect you or consider you. And if he continues to allow his child to flounder and fail, he'll be doing it somewhere else because you will not live this way.
The only thing you DO is speak opening and honestly, and then only focus on yourself.
Clove
I love ya however I'm gonna be crass for a moment.
Are you giving your husband the business? If so cut him off until all your demands are met. *ROFL*
DUP DELETE
DUP DELETE
I am
Because it suits me.
But more than that, I dont want this PITA to disturb my marriage.
Are you giving your husband
Exactly girl! Nothing makes a p*$$y go drier than styrofoam than staunch Disneyland enabler antics
That's A Lot Of Energy
You are expending countless hours of thinking on what to do and then the energy doing it and thinking about it. As ESMOD said, they do NOT care (your DH and SD). And really, what's the end goal? Do you want her out of your home? Or, for her to stay and try to make her miserable? I'm not a fan of Passive Agressive behaviors, which is the catagory this falls into. I'm BLUNT, especially these days. Personally, I'd gather up my thoughts and put the energy into telling your DH, "she has a launch date and it's X. Make sure you get her ready in time." And hold fast to it.
Here's an example from my life recently. DHs son/wife came to our home last year AGAINST my wishes but DH wanted it and "won." I was a horrible host. I did not cook, rarely spoke to them and at some times, outright ignored them. It was a miserable 3 days for all...or so I thought. Fast forward to this year. Guess who wants to come stay again. Yep. DHs son/wife. This time, I stood strong and said no. But I was completely stunned that they'd want to return to our home, after they were treated so poorly. I guess a free place to stay over-ruled my "ugly."
So, think hard about what you are doing and what outcome you want. Also take into account that what you are doing really isn't impacting them at all and giving them fuel to speak even more ill about you. Just my thoughts.
It's amazing how dense people
It's amazing how dense people can be and what thick skins they have.. they likely are poorly recieved elsewhere.. so your treatment isn't out of the ordinary.. and they don't take offense because they don't know any better.. haha.
Glad you got your backbone and denied a visit that clearly.. even when you were making great "efforts" to make them unwelcome.. in the end.. you were likely still the one that was most uncomfortable and making more effort.. even if the effort was to be negative!
Ammo
Yes, you are right. And Ive been over thinking in one direction and underthinking in another direction.
That did occur that I was giving more ammo, and what a surprise if I did a complete turnaround. No irritation-ing, and all smiles. Because Im getting recompensed. And you are all SO right - they DO NOT CARE HOW I FEEL OR HOW THEY ARE FAILING EACH OTHER AND THEMSELVES.
I need to paste this into a word document, print it out and tape it to a mirror somewhere.
I agree you are all right also on the just say no to passive agressive and yes to direct and blunt. Give husband the D & B. With a launch date.
THIS!
CLove, you're losing yourself and your integrity with this game. I don't think it's healthy. My heart sank reading this blog an your upthread comments.
It's only hurting you to let yourself get caught up in the game, which you can't win because - as others have already pointed out - they DO NOT CARE. Neither one respects you already, so your Suffer Games are only going to give them ammo for the next round of RAGE OUT & BLAME CLOVE.
Remembering your migraine a few months ago and my own experience back in August 2018 with the same exact scenario: the post-HS grad skid parasite my xSS and his enabling Disney Dad xH, it's pretty clear where this is heading.
You have some decisions to make: either continue to play stupid games and win increasingly stupid prizes, or ANNOUNCE you're done living like this and require 1/3 total living expenses paid to you WEEKLY until the day PPS/Munchkin is finally OUT OF YOUR HOME. If your coward punk-*ss husband tries his pathetic "Rage out & scream the C-word and worse at CLove to get her to back down and shut up" routine yet again, call the cops & get them both out at once.
Playing games is not working, and isn't going to suddenly start working CLove.
I like the way you think
I like the way you think. Been there, done that too. I'm currently considering having a police wellness check done on her at the dorms, since she can't effing answer the damned phone. Her one request of her dad "Don't embarrass me in front of my new friends." Yeah, well I'm sure your new friends won't think its embarrassing that the police showed up to make sure you weren't dead.
One year I didn't hear from
One year I didn't hear from my bio after he left for school. I sent him a message that if I didn't get proof of life, I'd call the college office to have them check his room for a body. Bio must have been afraid I'd do it as within a couple of hours I had an apologetic reply.
Have you ever considered that
Have you ever considered that DH is acting like this to DRIVE YOU away? Weak man he is, you paint a very poor picture of the man over the years. I can't see him asking for a divorce but is he pathetic enough to wait for you to do it?
Image Management
No I do not. I think that his eldest has painted him as an abuser who picked me over her and he doesnt want it to look like that and doesnt want his family or daughter to be able to point fingers at him "your a bad dad because you picked your WIFE over your CHILD".
SO, now with his younger doing the Big Nothing, continuing to live without working on anything, he doesnt want to rock any boats.
Clove you have more power
Clove you have more power than you realize.
Powersulk is now a regular schmegular adult now and you can boot her out of your home without legal recourse - unless she turns into a squatter (there is no obligation to her now that she is aged out of the child support system). plus she has a home to go to ... her breeders government subsided lair
Your husband can get the boot too (pack his compression socks, his blood pressure meds, and all his junk in a box shipped one way to toxic trolls lair) if he continue to allow this overgrown adult to disturb your peace in your home that you pay bills in if he dare challenge you.
From my experience these extreme Disney dads (with their toxic a$$ exes and their lazy leeching spawns) will do nothing to improve themselves for the better if they think you're always going to stand by them no matter how dysfunctional
Yes!!
EVERYTHING Lilly said!
If it was me, I'd bluntly
If it was me, I'd bluntly tell him that you need PSDN to move in with her mom full time.
If she gets a job and goes to online "college" would you really be happy with her living there? Don't give them false hope if what you really want is her out of your house. Give it time thought and exactly what you need. Would you be open to visitation once a week? Overnight in the converted guest room? Of you would be ok with her staying provided she has a job and is going to college, think about how many hours you need her to work and how many classes you need her to take. If you give an inch they might take a mile.
" If you give an inch... "
I fixed it for you, AlmostGone.
I've seen this with SO's
I've seen this with SO's daughter. Register for classes, drop them, pocket the money. Have a long drawn out story about how the administration screwed you over with lots of sketchy and unverifiable details if caught. Get a job where you work once or twice a week, and spend the rest of your time holed up in your room or out running the streets. If asked to see your grades or proof of employment, throw a giant tantrum and threaten suicide.
Just get her the hell out of your house.
That was the SpermGrandHag.
That was the SpermGrandHag. DW was always willing to give them another chance. They would take it toxic, she would rip their throats out, then keep her boot on their throats for a while. After a year or two DW would declare that they had learned their lessons then would reduce the pressure. The instant DW would back off, SpermGrandHag would instantly go toxic and take a mile.
After a few cycles of a year of more of ripping out their throats then backing off DW finally realized she had to keep her boot fully crushing their throats. Her thought was that if she backed off they would not take their toxic crap out on SS during visitations. After a number of the zero tolerance then back off cycles I pointed out to DW that they were still taking their crap out on SS and it only got worse when she let them breathe. At that point it was constantly game on in shredding the SpermClan for any toxic bullshit the second they started it.
Eventually the periods they would retreat under their slime covered rock at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool grew longer.
Tolerate no bullshit and the bullshit ends or at the very least is minimized.
The side that knows the CO and other related regulations and rules the best, and tolerates no bullshit ultimately prevails. Most importanty, the skids prevail when the influence of the shallow and toxic end of their gene pool is contained.
In our experience of course.
THis is absolutely correct..
THis is absolutely correct.. that's why CLOVE needs to figure out what she really wants.. what is the goal. I agree that for her to regain peace.. it's for the ADULT stepdaughter to not be living in her home.. because she will do all the excuses and dramas of why jobs or school not working "aren't her fault".. and Clove will have to deal with all that crap if she stays.
The only outcome that gives peace is for the girl to live elsewhere.. because it's a fantasy to think she will become an upstanding citizen/student.
Keep doing everything you are
Keep doing everything you are doing, add more, and go boss bitch on them.
It is your life, you enjoy it. When you go out for dinner, or to the beach, leave a big note on the marker board "I'm out for the day. You two get the kitchen fully cleaned and the dishes put away, the bathrooms cleaned completely, and do the vacuuming and mopping of the floors. If they are not done when I get home, I will call a cleaning service and you two will pay for it. Does PPSDN have an ID or a job yet? If not, she can be our unpaid chore bitch. Have a great day!"
Get the cams and forward the PPSDN waste of skin footage to DH regularly asking what is she doing all day since she is not in school, not working, and not living with the T-Troll?
Lather, rinse, repeat.
While you are doing the ever increasing boss bitch list effort with both of them keep reminding them that FF taught you and DH what will not be tolerated from a kidult in your marriage and direct PPSDN's ire at her idiot crook of a sister.
The ever increasing chore list from hell and escalating discomfort was the burning platform needed to get SS to launch. It took 8mos but he did launch and successfully at that. Basic shelter and food when it takes them countless hours of misery and lack of self determination works great to singe their tail feathers to get them to leap off of the burning platform.
DH does not need to participate. All you have to do is keep the heat turned up and get PPSDN to GTF out whether daddy likes it or not. His level of life enjoyment will degrade until she leaves. Conversely, it will instantly improve and continue to improve once she is gone. Another pressure point to consider is the message to DH that you will pay half of housing and food costs only when it is only the two of you in the house. If one or more of his spawn are present, he pays all the bills. Now that the spawn are adults, all bets are off and all money is cut off that in anyway benefits them.
Have fun!
You have a DH Problem first of all
He's letting his DD do nothing and is ok with it. Working on DH is your first move. As tell DH either his kids go, or you will stop working and start doing nothing with SD. I would never work, and support a ungrateful, disrespectful SD. BUT until you make up your mind and do something . This will continue. Or if you don't want to stop working. Your. whold pay check goes into a bank account in your name only. And you asked DH for money to buy food and pay the bills.
'You must stop everyone walking all over you. This SK thing will never end. The kids want to do nothing and they need a place to live, food to eat. Ect
CLove, I love you more than I
CLove, I love you more than I love my luggage, so you know it's a lot. (extra points if you know the movie I kind of quoted)
but...
I think you're fighting a battle that has no enemy. You can't fight a battle without another side and they are not fighting. In their lives, nothing has changed. At least their activity level has not changed.
What would happen if you bluntly said, to the both of them, "how long is sluggo going to be doing nothing, paying nothing and accomplishing nothing?"
Would he erupt? would she pull out the tears and the sad little girl face? what if you asked it and then said nothing.
then followed up a few days later with, "it's unfair to not split bills three ways since there are three able bodied adults living here. I will be only paying my third from now on, it's up to you two to decide how you'll pay the rest."
Then walk away and go do your thing. no games no one but you is playing. no sitting there expecting excuses. no nothing but this is how it is.
"Ways to irritate & other
"Ways to irritate & other things"
Step 1. Tell them you'll be contributing 1/3 of the rent and bills starting this month.
Step 2. Contribute only a third of said bills.
So much good feedback here. I
So much good feedback here. I hope you know that all of on this board think so highly of you and want you to be happy.
I'll not beat a dead horse, but just say that I agree that any energy you put into these people is wasted. They simply do not care what you do or don't do, your attempts to irritate them are really only hurting yourself. Communicate the financial stuff that you need to, and then actually disengage. In every way. I just don't think that doing anything at all to/for/with them is going to get you any closer to whatever your ultimate goal is. I'm sorry this is the hand you've been dealt. You deserve to live with people who have even the tiniest bit of consideration for you, but that's just not the situation you're in right now.