We have a winner, chicken dinner
I wanted to share a few things.
Ive been having a really fun time being the Queen of Irritation! Who knew I had it in me, Im typically trying to people please and walk on eggshells and be the "nice stepmother", or at least neutral. No more "task mistress" am I. I read Husband the riot act Sunday night and told him I already have a full time job, coming up with a "task list" to get some value for housing Sd18 Princess Powersulk Do Nada, our lady of intertia IS NOT WORKING, because she will either not do it, come up with excuses why not, make other plans, or just "forget" , or give attitude, or I dont even know.
SO. Ive decided to continue with my Irritate the Heck Out of everyone plan. What does that mean in Clove Land?
Well, Im continuing to ask for things to be done that Ive been asking for. We are on at least 3 iterations by now.
She decided to not just clean her room but rearrange all the furniture, and 4 bags came out, yay, but also an old wooden standup full length mirror that is wobbly. She put it out in the hallway that I am trying to clear out, and I keep asking her to put it out on the side of the house with all the other stuff that needs to be disposed of. Today was ask #3. :D
Then I told her she needs to finish cleaning her room, because I am renting it out as an air bnb. 
Insert evil grin. She wants to be a kid, Im treating her like a kid. I am REALLY enjoying spending my free time thinking of ways to first irritate Husband and put the screws to him...making comments about how he messed up the parenting. I know its passive aggressive, but Im rubbing his nose in his own chit finally.
Im still thinking of what Im going to do about charging him for her rent of the room. Should I start now when hes expecting bill money? Thats not fair! Its only been 2 1/2 months of the free-range free-gan mooching off us. Start in September, with everything explained and discussed and include her in that discussion? Any feedback is helpful.
Oh yeah, and she let the snake out. Hes slithering around her room currently and she only decided to tell me last night, after 3 days of his free ranging.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSteplife SSSSSSSSSSSSux.
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Comments
Yep. Get her the fk out of
Yep. Get her the fk out of your house. It would be one thing if she were a pleasant individual who pulled her weight and was working toward an education or independence via a job. She can loaf at BM's. And maybe the puppy will eat the snake, but if so, don't clean up the poop or vomit.
If I find that snake outside your room.....
I would be shouting "If I find that snake outside your room I'm chopping off his head and serving it to you for dinner!"
Ha ha.
But man, that kid needs a kick in the butt. I'm glad you are doing it. I love the Air BnB idea and charging your husband for his lax attitude.
I have to see my youngest SD tonight and she has been a turd to her dad lately - only answering his calls when she needs money. Now she wants to come get some stuff out of her room to take to college. Thank goodness she will have to grow the eff up a bit before I see her again. Hopefully she will be able to manage her anxiety while away at school without her mommee to manipulate the school for her so she can get what she wants. That was her high school experience.
I like snakes!
Im going to hunt that booger down and find him.
Im so jelly - college bound skids are so much more fun than the hang-arounds.
At least youll have an educated skid to work with...
I would give him notice that
I would give him notice that starting in September.. either SHE pays rent.. or he pays her share. That the only way that she would get a break on that at all is if she is a full time student with an above the table part time job maintaining an acceptable GPA..
If she doesn't want to pay rent.. and he doesn't want to take less from you to compensate.. then she can vacate the room.. it becomes a Clove guest room/craft room.
Perfectly put
Guest room and storage we desperately need. Im going to start taking measurements and doing some clearing of my own. Starting with the closets.
So, I agree - September is the best bet. WHAT A DEAL! 3 months FREE!
Good for you!
Good for you!
Let her slither out your house like her pet snake trying to slither away from being captivated by her.
Id tell her to captivate those rent payments she about to get hit with
I have some new tricks up my sleeve
They are called "staycation days". Whereby I get the house to myself. For the next several weeks.
Bye!
Omg GTFO and take your serpent with you. Rent is a great motivator, as are chores. Trust me, SS18 does not want to live with us because it's not cushy here and he has chores and gets nagged and lectured. 10/10 Would recommend.
Very uncomfortable
I came home later than usual and got the standard powersulk. She was sunshine and roses with dad of course.
So, to counter that I fake-cried about it this morning "it hurts my FEELINGS". Bam.
Start moving everything out
Start moving everything out of the room to find and release the snake. At 5am.
Oh yesssssssssss
Shes going to her mother's today for the rest of the week/weekend. I have plans to find that snake (hes just a little guy) and will have husband help me.
I'd start w/ the expectations
I'd start w/ the expectations of rent/ paying her way on the date she should have started school on.
Id have to pro-rate
I checked the local cc calendar - classes start August 19.
Im thinking of Sept 1. Thats 3 free months for the free-gan. Super generous am I.
This is going to implode soon
This is going to implode soon. WW3 is brewing.... I'd start preparing for that...
Winning the battles
Im trying to win the battles to avoid the War.
Last night I came home later than usual. Came home, shes powersulking on me and sunshining on husband. I hung with him and puppy in the garage to avoid her.
This morning I powersulked myself, groused about not being able to sleep in "like other people get to", and groused about needing a vacation, and then I fake-cried about not being able to sleep, and having my "feelings hurt" by the powersulking from princess do nada. I trembled a little when I hugged him goodbye, from all the emotion.
This next few weeks Im going to pull out the heavy artillery, and take vacation days and require having the house to myself the entire week. I have enough paid time off to go 4 plus weeks. So for example, I request time off one day a week, she stays gone the entire week. Im slated for a day this week (bye!) and 2 days next week (bye bye), and am looking at another for the following week...(bye!)
I am to the point of frustration where I dont want her back, except to get her stuff.
Ok... so say SD leaves to
Ok... so say SD leaves to never come back... you will be OK in your marriage knowing how your husband failed both his kids? IMO I could never watch that and have respect. He is a TERRIBLE parent... IMHO.
No I am certainly NOT ok with it
No I am certainly NOT ok with it, but its been 10 years of failing so I dont see my caring making much of a difference.
And I hope that she launches properly so that she doesnt HAVE to come back for anything more than just a casual visitation to say hi and all that.
I've been waiting for 2 years
I've been waiting for 2 years for SD20 to launch after high school... so far a failure... when these spwans are spoiled since early years, they don't get it that at 18, 19, 20 etc they are adults now and need to stand on their own 2 feet being that they are full time college students or get serious about working a job...
YES
Just saw your post.
Even SD25 Feral Forger had a job at 18. She figured that I wouldnt support her. Dont know what the heck they are even THINKING, to float for 3 months ON MY DIME.
Hell no. She doesn't come
Hell no. She doesn't come back. My dad and I revisted a story from 40+ years ago today during the last day of my epic summer vacation road trip.
I recalled watching my brother rage at my parents arguing, etc... I was home for the summer from school. After several minutes of them talking with him while he ranted I asked "When are you going to kill him?" My dad replied. "Your brother owes you a life long debt of gratitude for training us how to be parents. We learned with you. He benefits from that."
We both laughed when recounting that family history story. Apparently I trained them very well. I have done well in life but nowhere near my career rocket up his butt baby bro who is in the corporate stratosphere. Yep, all because I trained our parents on how to parent.
If I even expressed an oppinion or disagreed at all I was arguing and that was a potential death sentence when I was in my teens. Not so for little bro.
So, play that card. "Sorry PS, we will not allow you to do what your idiot sister FF did so, get a job and pay rent or GTF out. Buh-bye". If she rages, tell her that her sister trained you on what not to tolerate so if PS has an issue with it, she can call FF and fight with her. Since your new normal is to stir the shit with DH and PS, you might as well get PS to draw FF into it by deflecting PS to rage at her idiot sister.
I would.
you might as well get PS to
Tell her
GTFO. go anywhere. You just don't care. DH can go with her
Just wondering what your
Just wondering what your thoughts are with your husband covering her rent... Won't that just enable her to again do nothing? Or does she still need to get a job or be in school?
Good question
Im thinking about it as, if her "rent" is covered, I can still irriate the heck out of her asking for arrival/departure times and still ask for things to get done, I just wont require job or college. Shes choosing not to do either right now, and to me college is a priviledge that is just not in the cards for her without the fafsa.
But Ill def ease up if husband agrees to cover it by decreasing the bill money I owe.
Maybe
Maybe it's a catalyst for him to get her to try to do something....) but that is hard to say
Um, no ...
The rent is only the tip of the iceberg. 1/3 also of utilities and groceries, pro rata depending on her presence.
Rather than passive, this
Rather than passive, this sounds overtly aggressive and is absolutely the right thing. So much so that you need to turn up the overt aggression IMHO.
I like the idea of handing DH a bill for Skidult spawn rent at bill paying time and tell him that is your contribution to the bills and has to man up, daddy up, and pay them since his shit spawn is not working and paying her rent. Tell him the out is for her to remain at TT's house. Period. Dot.
If my SKid had failed to do his never ending chore list he would have been sleeping on the back porch hydrating from the garden hose and looking hungrily in the back window while we were feasting every night. Fortunately he only tested us twice and had only two hungry days, one very thirsty, until I pointed out the garden hose to him. After those two test events, he was Johnny on the spot get it all done every day until he shipped off to start his military career.
Meanwhile 13yrs and 4mos later, he is less than 7 years from full retirement.
Woo hoo.
Keep it up Clove, daddy and the PS spawn need the constant lesson and pressure and you need the break that aggresive harrassment of them provides.
Well done.