Thanks, dear Lilly. We've made reservations for 2 nights at a hotel near the hospital and will be spending some time with Dad next week. You are so right in your comment, 'you have as much time as possible with him.' 

Thanks, Rags. All hugs are gratefully received.

And don't we know it, AgedOut! You get what you give, yeah? Thanks so much for the love and prayers. ♥️

He does know, Rumple, since he often mentions his gratitude for our continuous attention via phone calls, cards and visits at his retirement residence. He's always been such a vibrant and capable man (he's also handsome and well over 6 feet tall!), that seeing him hunched over, blind and almost deaf, is heartbreaking. I HATE it!

Yup, JRI. Over 42 years ago, Mummy hooked up with a guy nearly ten years her junior. Not to brag, but my mother was an uncommonly beautiful woman who attracted men of all ages. She'd had a few attachments in her early sixties but ended up with Dad. 

Well, here was this guy, childless from his first marriage, who took on his wife's eight children like they were his own. Every year, we loved him more. He was blessed with an amazing sense of humour, a kind, loving disposition and (being very solvent) was generous to a fault.

We never took advantage of Dad, mainly because I and all of my sibs are comfortably situated. And, because we loved him and refused to abuse his open-handedness. His loss will devestate his 'children'.

Aw, AlmostGone, your hurting heart means so much to me that it brought yet another tear to my eye. Thanks so much, Hon.

Thanks, Harry, and (((HUGS))) right back 'atcha'.

Thanks, hereiam! I truly appreciate your kindness. 

My dear Ani, I love SISU (Finnish word meaning strength, perseverance in a task that for some may seem crazy to undertake, almost hopeless).

I feel the hug, my friend, and will, indeed, treasure my moments with Dad when DH and I visit him next week. Holding his hand is about all that I can do since Dad is blind and mostly deaf. His legs are so badly swollen from congestive heart failure that they've begun to ooze. Oh, damn, I feel like I'll never stop crying... Why does this good man have to suffer at the end of such a blameless, honorable life?

Many thanks, sweet Clove. And, I do believe that Dad feels the love of all his 'adopted' children. He is so over-the-top thankful for our visits and attention (we take care of all his needs such as phone, clothing, TV, bills, health concerns, etc.) that we keep telling him to “Stop!”; we do what we do because we love him and will always be grateful for the support, encouragement and affection that he’s provided for four decades. 

He’s our mainstay. What in the world are we going to do without him?! During phone calls, despite his blindness and deafness (we yell and he wears a hearing aid), he still manages to give solid, wise and loving advice. 

And what a lovely and supportive post, Crspyew! My 'Mummy' was 96 when she died and Dad is almost 93. As much as it hurts me to see him so reduced, I still love the sight of him; his smile lights up my heart. He’s always been mega huggable and when he calls me, “Dear”, and introduces me to the other residents as, “My lovely daughter”, I feel like I’ve won the lottery!

Thanks so much for your prayers, Felicity! Speaking to my sister today, things have now come to the point where she is at the hospital several times a day; she's taken a leave from her full-time job. She feeds Dad his meals (he's blind) and she says that he feels safe when she's there. My DH and I will be spending 2 days in that vicinity and hope to relieve my sister of her duties long enough to give her a break. 

Yes indeed, notsurehowtodeal, my emotions are 'all over the place!' I was cooking dinner last night and started crying so hard that I had to sit down and pull myself together. I can't help thinking that 'the dying process' is harder for an independent man like Dad, who was always the strong one. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.

Thanks so much, Rocky! His influence will always stay with me since he brought out the best. Those hugs are getting through! 

Ah, ESMOD!

Often, when I’m reading your posts, I could be hearing my husband’s sentiments as regards just about everything. You, Rags and my DH are pragmatists to the core. Yes, indeed, nobody lives forever and it’s irrational to close your eyes to the approaching death of your beloved parents. It looks like you’re facing the same outcome regarding your father that I am.

Your thoughtful comment, ‘we are at least lucky to have had them as long as they have been here, I guess.’, is comforting. I need to remind myself that Dad has led a good and productive, lengthy life, has made a difference in the lives of my siblings, our mother and me, and has probably had a positive effect on many others. He was not emotional; he always got down to the meat of a matter and managed to come up with practical solutions. 

Damn, though, Dad’s blindness has developed so quickly that we won’t be able to enjoy the Buffalo Bills this season! During a game, we would phone each other after every successful play. Seriously though, ESMOD, I appreciate your kind thoughts/hugs and hope that your own Dad’s intestinal issues abate enough to allow him to reach the end with as little discomfort as possible.

True enough, Winterglow, relationships between parents and kids are a two-way street. It's a given, that stepfathers always have an easier time of it than stepmothers but Dad's outgoing, practical and generous nature made him so easy to love. He wasn't a pushover; when he was upset with one of us, he let us know, yet in such kind-hearted terms that it took a while before we realized that we’d been told off. 

Thanks for the well wishes, Hon, and I am taking care of myself as per your recommendation. No cooking tonight as DH is making bacon cheeseburgers on the BBQ; his specialty (as well as making all the arrangements for our trip and paying the costs). Like Dad, my DH is a great hugger and, although the cuddles tend to make me cry harder, they make me feel better. Go figure.

Thanks, Hon! As Rags would say, I won the parental lottery.

Thanks so much, Cover. I'm doing my best to keep the old chin up. 

Wow! Daughters in their twenties are far too young to be fatherless; poor girls. There hasn't been a day that I haven't realized how lucky I am to have my Dad still around. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.

Thanks, secondplace! My DH and I just returned from having spent 3 days attending my Dad at the hospital which is, essentially, a hospice. I fed him his meals, held his hand a lot and talked about old times. Sadly, the nursing is sub-par, with only 1 RN and 4 CNAs for 44 patients so it’s imperative that one of us siblings is there during visiting hours, 11.00 AM until 8.00 PM. We make sure that he is kept warm with heated blankets, has his diaper changed as necessary and has his other needs met.

Dad’s doctor stated that there’s no hope and because Dad barely eats and has begun hallucinating, as well as being blind and nearly deaf, I’ve become more accepting of his looming death. Hoping for him to continue living, in his current state, would be both selfish and unrealistic. Twice, while we were holding hands and I was stroking his hair, he began to cry and my love for him was almost overwhelming. I’ve already started to grieve; might as well start the process early and maybe I’ll recover sooner?

Thanks so much for the kind words, Shieldmaiden. ♥️