Doing the same thing over and over with the same bad results, right?

DH told me last night that he gave YSD18 a good amount of cash for a graduation gift, in a card given to her on grad day. She said nothing to him while she was here (Monday morning - Wednesday morning) and he asked her on the way to her dropoff point if she had opened the card - "Yes." He was upset there was not one thank you or acknowledgement of the gift. I told him, "You need to call her out on it the next time you see her." And dropped it - because he should have called her out on it while she was here or at the very least when she didn't thank him when she told him she had opened the card. FFS - I guess you don't want to upset the princess!

And THEN he tells me he was feeling bad that he hadn't done the same when OSDnow20 graduated high school (I though he did send her a couple hundred but I digress...) and he decided to get a cashiers check for her for the same amount!  He gave this to YSD / BM to mail because he doesn't have her address (she stayed in college town this summer). He asked YSD if the card had been mailed yet - "No, it's still on the kitchen counter." I stared gape-mouthed at him, incredulously asked "WHY would you do that if she doesn't talk with you AND BM could care less?" He's just lost the money since it's on the cashiers check. He's losing it. I'm going to seriously talk with him that he MUST find a new counselor because this cycle must end.

I also decided to update one of my retirement accounts to go to my sister/niece because THEY should have it if I go first; DH's kids don't deserve the extra. I'll keep DH afloat but nothing else.