So Mother's Day, yay, me. So my husband was a bit more low key than usual, and his daughter who is 18 and just about to graduate, got me a card tin which she wrote, "You're not my mom, but more like a teacher, a teacher I hate..." and goes on from there. My husband was like, "meh, she's just being honest." What a total POS, two total POS's. She says things like, "you taught me to do laundry..." which I actually didn't. Her BM died when she was 10 and when she came to live with us after that her dad, my hubby, insisted she do her own laundry. I don't know why, and I certainly never expected my own kids to do their own laundry at 10, but he insisted and he showed her how amen made sure she did it. Occasionally I would do it. Of course my husband says he doesn't remember. He loves to use that. I have never and would never expect a 10 year old to do their own laundry. 
That is just the beginning. My SD was still in bed when I opened her card and I took the dogs and trol then for a hike to get some positive time in my Mother's Day. One of my adult kids came to hang out in the afternoon which was awesome. One of my other owned lives across the country and one lives less than an hour away but never remembers or makes an effort for any special holidays unless someone else in the family reminds her. 
So my SD has a big event coming up next week, her last high school play, which is a big deal for her as drama is her thing. 
but I don't want to go now that she gave me the card on Mother's Day saying she hates me. I mean, seriously? No. I also don't want to go to her graduation in a few weeks. My husband doesn't want to talk about any of it of course. 
She is just as hostile and contemptuous towards my husband as she is to me, when he says something she doesn't twist to hear. But he just pretty much lets her be nasty, then says, "ok, have fun, be safe, love you..."

 She is definitely mentally ill, but largely self-induced. It's so fashionable. She has a huge bedroom with private bathroom, all of which she treats like a trash can. Way beyond the normal teen messiness. Leftover food and drink containers, let's her bathroom trash over I'll, dirty close stacked two feet deep, filth y toilet, sink, shower, floor. Just disgusting. 
I raised three kids so I get it, but they were never like her. She lives like she is in a homeless encampment.

Her mother was mentally ill and evil,  and had alienated her from her dad before she died. Her sister with the same bio-mom and is 10 years older, has always been hateful and disrespectful towards my husband. My husband didn't have the backbone to cut people put of her life  even though they encouraged her to disrespect him. 

But we have been polite, cordial and even close at times. But now I feel it is time to stoo pretending. I don't hate her, but I want her gone. I have no date for her move-put, other than my husband saying she doesn't want to be here and she is going to suddenly get a bunch of money from her mom's side of the family so she won't want for money.

 I think I am right to not go to her last big high school play or to her graduation. I'm sure my hubby will make a weak attempt at a guilt trip, but I don't care anymore.

And I don't think I owe her any graduation gift, but a card with truth, that she will get.
I have been here for her the last 8 years, teaching her to not be afraid to make mistakes at school as she learns, something her mom would punish her for.

 Lo and behold, she went from being years behind in grade level competence to being an honor roll student.

I'm the one who pushed her dad to enroll her in activities she was interested in, and took her to them. Her dad was too busy. I'm the one who has repeatedly encouraged her to pursue whatever dreams she has, while her sister and  mom's family tells her she can't do this, can't  do that, or has to do this or that. But I'm the bad guy, of course. 
I could never encourage anyone to be a step-parent ever. Not only for the sake of the adult but also the kid. 

SCREEEAAM!! Who's with me? Who has any I input that will help me carry on through the next couple months while she is still here?