Watching kid while partners ex is out of the country's
HI so in my last forum we discussed the 11 year being with us while his mum made holiday plans while school was still still in. My partner decided to take the little one so the older one shouldnt and wants to watch his younger brother for that long. My question is the 18 going on 19 thats not in school nor work, do we have him over more to feed him during that 2.5 weeks ? really for gods sake he should be doing either schoo, or work not just sittinh there. he will have the house to himself for 2.5 weeks and wont leave his room ,, nor more so if hes not even lending a helping hand with his younger brother at all.
I find it strange to feed him and make sure hes ok for that time as 1. he chooses not to take up any of his time doing anything at all. 2. doesnt want to help with his brother ., why should we go pick him up and bring him over when he can take care og him self really.
He always declines going wuith the family anywhere, he doesnt do shit all day.
Do we still bring the lazy bum over during that time ? mind you he still comes everyother weekend till now .
No, let him sit in his room
No, let him sit in his room at his mom's house. My brother, at 18, was looking after me and my sister when my mother went out of town for work. I was the youngest at 13. Our dad lived close by so he was our go to if an emergency came up that my brother couldn't handle. Other than that, my brother made sure everything was taken care of at home and we were just fine.
I feel like maybe I would
I feel like maybe I would have him over for a family meal here or there. Does he want to come over? Or does he prefer to be at the other house? What does your husband say on the matter? At that age he could easily be at the other house the whole time. I don't think it makes sense to have him over for 2 weeks straight if he stays in his room and doesn't help or anything and just sits around...
He hates leaving his room,,
He hates leaving his room,, but he likes coming to our place as we cook very well and he eats alot when he is over. My hubby says my son is my son and i dont get to see him much doesnt matter ,, no school no work or lazy my son will always be my son.
This really doesn't have to
This really doesn't have to do with obligations on your part. The bottom line is your husband has clearly told you that he wants to see his son and his son isn't lesser in his eyes for not going to work/school.. and that he isn't going to shun him for that.
But.. do you think your DH thinks that keeping good communication with his son might he be able to encourage him to "do more".. does your SO think he SHOULD be doing more at 18?
Have you asked your husband what he thinks his son's life will be like in 5 years.. 10.. if he keeps on this path?
Is your husband a hard worker? or is he prone to laziness?
I mean.. to be honest.. dad taking the younger kid is the right thing IMHO because the older boy does not sound mature enough to handle that responsibility.... I'm not saying that BM should have foisted this on him.. but when there were no other good options.. and I'm sure he will enjoy having his younger boy there... it was the right thing.. but also.. HE should be doing the work for having his son there.
my partner is a very very
my partner is a very very hard worker we both are and have been from young ages,, you cant beat a dead horse you can only say something sooooooo much till the 18 year old ubderstands,, my hubby says the same thing i do ,, no idea what will hapen with that kid really dont
i would never in my life have
i would never in my life have him over for 2 weeksn straight i would have to sign up for a instubtion aftwards trust me. i was was just asking about here and there for a meal,, as i dont want to just want to do whats right i guess sadly lol
I think it would be good to
I think it would be good to come up with a plan that works for both you and your husband in advance so you can prepare lol. If it were me I would probably just invite him for a coupl/few dinners. You don't need to entertain him for 2 weeks straight. Good luck!
An 18/19yo does not need to
An 18/19yo does not need to come over. Particularly one who is not in school or working. If anything, BM needs to leave him home with no food other than a box of ramen noodles. He can starve otherwise.
That was a key learning moment my parents gave me. My last spring break of my first two years of college mom and dad did not give me a dime and I had no place to go other than my dorm room. The school was planning on shutting down the boilers, light circuits, etc.. I had to get approval to stay in the dorm. I had a dozen packages of ramen. Not enough for 10 days. I supplemented ramen with tomato soup. Made from water and ketchup packets that I harvested from an number of burger joints in town near my dorm. Some tabasco, some seasoning and ketchup packets makes a servicable tomato soup. But ramen and ketchup packet soup were not enough for me to avoid a lesson. Deliver to standard or.... have a long hungry spring break.
If SS actually gets a job
He would not be able to come over for two weeks. He would have to work. DH has this figure out. If he makes DS get a job visitation will stop. If he does retail he will be working all holidays. As getting Christmas Day off but the day after Christmas is big in retail. Thanksgiving, then Black Friday
I shudder at those memories.
I shudder at those memories. I spent 6yrs of my life on that schedule.
1
1