drama is brewing … SD weekend !
I have been posting a lot lately because I have no where else to vent but of course SD is coming this weekend . You know she was already asking on Wednesday. But DH forgot he had a job already schedule tomorrow night in which he will be gone from 8 to 12 am most likely . He scheduled the job because he didn't know if he would have SD ( she has not come in months ) and he needed the money to recoop from Christmas. So he told BM he could meet her tomorrow half way ( 2.5 hour drive ) at noon. But I am thinking I'm excuse me .. who the hell is SD suppose to be with ? He told BM he had a shoot at night so of course she knows he won't be around . They are both assuming I will be with her ?!?!?!? Yes that's a hell no! And I'm pissed that DH would even agree to get her knowing he would not be around ! I told DH I have plans to see my girlfriend tomorrow around 7pm and of course I'll be taking DD1, DD4, DS7 and BS12 because my friend had boys also around the ages of my kids ( except for the baby ) so with DH knowing this he still didn't say anything , I'm not taking SD with me . Also if SD is gonna stay at our house alone at night for a few hours I think that he should probably tell BM and SD this . I'm just really over this crap, and the way I have been feeling towards SD lately , I sure as hell do not want to cart her with me. Also I'm sure she would not even want to go. Ughhh
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Have you considered completely disengaging from SD?
Have you considered completely disengaging from SD? Tell your DH you will not ever be watching her and ask him to not tell you about any communication attempts. Let him deal with his relationship with her on his own. Go ahead and make plans and if he can join great, if he can't because of SD, then just go on without him. It would probably help your state of mind if you would just completely back off and let DH deal with all of it on his own.
Yea I was and I got thrown
Yea I was and I got thrown under the bus by BM and mostly all of DH family for not "stepping" up as a SM. I don't like him just assuming I will take SD with me while he is gone and of SD is to be left alone I feel like he should tell her that upfront instead of being a surprise you are gonna be home alone anoght for several hours. I know how BM is gonna react and I know I'll try again get thrown under the bus for it
It is so frustrating how
It is so frustrating how people think SM is free childcare. I am really glad DH and I did not have children together because I would have felt really resentful of the way he caters to SDiablas. I am sure they would have demanded attention and they would have been in competition with any half-siblings.
Yes it is!!! DH was like
Yes it is!!! DH was like "well aren't you taking the kids" I was like yes MY kids . Why would I want to take SD with me? She doesn't know my friend and she prob would feel out of place and miserable. It's very frustrating
Yep
Custody visitations are so that she can maintain a relationship with her Dad, not you. When he isn't available she should stay with her BM.
Right , especially since SD
Right , especially since SD "misses" DH so much. I have also told this to DH in the past . How soon they forget. Long sigh . I told DH that maybe he needs to mention to BM that no one will be home ( BM is assuming I'll be home ) he said he doesn't need to explain his life to BM and SD is old enough to either stay home , or that's about it really. I know that if SD knew DH wasn't gonna be home SD would not come . So I am trying to prevent what's gonna happen. SD is gonna send a text to BM telling her that she should have stayed home because she is home alone at night . BM is gonna get upset for DH not telling her SD would be alone at night , Q the drama weekend. I'm calling it now
How old is she?
Old enough to stay alone?
She is 14
She is 14
Toss a bag of fast food her
Toss a bag of fast food her way then leave her to her Tik Toks if your husband insists on having her there with him gone. No need to babysit someone that age.
Well my friend bailed so
Well my friend bailed so looks like I'll be home .... great
Nope . Find something else,
Nope . Find something else, something fun to do instead. She's 14, FOURTEEN, for goodness sake! She could be looking after your kids while YOU go out! Stop this nonsense NOW. And BM doesn't need to be told that she'll be alone like someone of her age.
No SD , our plans weren't fun
No SD , our plans weren't fun enough for her. We are still going out . mil is coming to watch our kiddos
DH must realize
That you are not the defacto BABYSITTER. It's His DD, He is making plans with out asking you first. This is disrespectful..He putting BM ..SD...ahead of you. This will stop now... you as his DW demands respect.. When he make plans with his DD ZHe must make all care arrangements. You are not part of it. You woll not be playing there games
Well this was resolved
Well this was resolved because SD decided she didn't want to come because we were not going anywhere for New Year's Eve. Well this was all communicated through BM which I have told DH he needs to stop doing ! BM asked if SIL was having a party because SD would wanna go, DH replied that we are not going anywhere on New Year's Eve. Then BM said that SD didn't want to come . I swear this girl.... yet she misses DH so much huh .
BEAT THAT DRUM TO DEATH!!!
BEAT THAT DRUM TO DEATH!!!
"DH I thought she missed you... now she don't want to come? WHAT ABOUT HER MISSING YOU?!?!?!?!"
Oh you know I did!!!!! He
Oh you know I did!!!!! He also sent a text to BM saying "have SD text me because I want her to tell me herself why she doesn't want to come , especially if she says she misses me" did SD text DH ? NOPE!
With how many very young kids
With how many very young kids at home how can anyone expect you go somewhere on new year eve. That's just stupid. Most families with young children stay home, especially with that many children. This is just crazy expectation.
I guess we were expected to
I guess we were expected to go out because SD wanted to go. We haven't even heard anything about SIL having a party or anything so I'm not sure how this even came about . I guess SD was expecting SIL to have a NYE party for her ?
You have real problems.
Your DH doesn't see what's going on, he has too much contact with BM . BM is caking all the shots, until this stops . You are having BM and SD trying to control your life
I would make shit up. "Oh, we
I would make shit up. "Oh, we are going to a music producer party for NY Eve. A bunch of stars are going to be there. On the first we are going for Brunch at (name famous restaurant here). Then when she arrives all excited.... tell her there has been a change of plans.
Lather.... rinse... repeat.
When she does not come, do some cool shit and tell her all about it.
Also.... lather.... rinse.... repeat.
When she actually starts visiting consistently, include her in some of the fun stuff. While pointing out how her behavior impacts positive outcome. Never forget, experience and trechery out peforms youth and inexperience every time.
Oh we are going to see MiL
Oh we are going to see MiL and SIL after all lol, I'm sure SD will hear about it and guess what ! Oh well SD you should have came because you do not dictate crap . We aren't staying all night tho just a few hours during the day