I stopped giving zero Fs

And man it feels good! I am done with putting others feelings before mine own just to "be nice" my time is valuable and if I don't wanna spend it with in-laws who secretly don't like me then don't blame me, but they do! lol I use to always put my MIL and SIL feelings before My

own to "keep the peace" but now I'm starting to be like why? They are still gonna talk about me, they are still going to blame me, they are stilling to accuse me of "dragging DH from his family" I'm tired of them isolating me by talking in Spanish, I'm tired of their unwanted parenting advice, I am tired their passive aggressive BS and I am done with their disillusioned excuses for SD15. This was triggered because SIL birthday is next weekend ( DH just informed me on friday) and I already told DH about my nieces party on Saturday plus there's an event I really wanted to go to on Sunday which I told DH about as well. Of course LAST minute MIL and SIL send a group text saying " hey it's my birthday next weekend so I wanted to get an AirBnB for the family for one night next weekend if anyone is interested " I said " probably not us we just got back from out of town" and left it at that. I do t even care of it sounded rude but oh well! We just got back from out 4 day spring break vacation and I am exhausted . There's no way in hell I wanna load up the kids for another one night out even if it's closer to our house . Also I'm not sure if they are gonna invite SD since they still have a good relationship with her and they love to do extra with her but that's a huge he'll no if SD 15 is gonna be there . SD has still responded to DH text from 2 weeks ago ! Sorry just a rant but I am starting to put myself, my sanity and my family first

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Woooo!!!!! That's it!!! Glad

Woooo!!!!! That's it!!! Glad you responded before they could guilt DH. I think a group text when it comes to this shit is the way to go and if they act nasty- no response is a response. So beyond happy for you.

Oh I'm sure they will guilt

Oh I'm sure they will guilt him or say " why is your wife being like this" but I'm beyond caring . Year after year I have cared too much and tried so hard for them to like me. I have finally reached my "grown women taking no crap era" lol I have reached a wise age and I just don't care anymore , if you aren't riding with me mooooove out my way ! TOWANDA if you know that saying

Yep. Reaching the wisdom point of LFOGTFOOTW is freeing.

Lead, Follow ,Or GTF Out Of The Way.

They STFU and stay out of the way or they get run over.

Don't forget to stop, put it in reverse, and back over them a few times just to make the point that they no longer matter.

And...have run doing it.

I hear you! Why waste time

I hear you! Why waste time with people who treat you that way? I will go to Christmas, Thanksgiving, weddings, and funerals, but i'm not wasting random days to feel uncomfortable the whole time. And if THEIR Christmas conflicts with my own family's, guess whose will ALWAYS win?

ETA i'm sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels, though for me it isn't as bad as for you, as i'm not married, have my own place, and have no kids in this "family." It still hurts, though.

Right ! It use to bother me a

Right ! It use to bother me a lot but lately I'm just oh well, I have MY family at home . Also, DH is more than welcome to go with out me if he wants . He doesn't always go to my family's birthday gatherings because of jobs he has or scheduling but it's fine with me. He can do that same but if I don't go he doesn't go and that's all his choice . But you know MiL is already sending her passive aggressive text back " well I guess SIL, SIL husband granddaughter and myself are going " lol im like OK yea thank you for reminding me about SIL husband because that's another reason why I am not going !!! The guy starts drinking heavy liquor at like 10am and is drunk by 1pm , you can barely understand him and he is always getting the kids crazy and can be sometimes too rough and we always have to tell him to knock it off! So it's a hugeeeeee hell no

Putting you first is a

Putting you first is a triumph. Now, will your DH put you first as well. That, is the question.

If not, it may be time for a change of course.

Take care of you.

DH has come along way. I mean

DH has come along way. I mean if you read my older post there were time where we were on the edge of divorce . Things have gotten so much better along the years . It's sad that I can't include SD on our path to being a closer family... I feel sometimes bad thinking how good things are yet his relationship with his daughter has gone south but then I have to tell myself it's not my fault, SD made her choice and so did DH. He has my back now and understands why we aren't going out of town with his family this weekend

Thanks for reminding me of the progress that DH has participated

Thanks for reminding me of the progress that DH has participated in.

Enjoy your peace together.

Good for you! I noticed that

Good for you! I noticed that when I finally stopped caring what SDiablas28&26 think and started to go about my day as usual that SD's became increduous grouper mouthed stinky fish. They are unaccustomed to an ambivalent response to their rude words, actions and behaviors.

I sang songs, read books, wore earbuds, did yoga, happily went about my day, generally doing whatever I damn well pleased.

They are so accustomed to DH, BM and certain other people falling over themselves to accomodate their demands and fee fees, treating them as if they are royalty, the poor COD, SO smart and SO great, everyone trying to appease them. They think they are the only imporant people in the world.

SD's and DH needed a wake up call. They can all participate in the great delusion but I'm OUT. They do not need special treatment other than a kick in the butt to get them out of la la land.

I think that DH seeing me draw boundaries made him realize that HE can have boundaries too. The last time OSD was having a fit, (She was WAILING and crying in our yard because I had just told her that she is not to touch my things without permission.) DH said that he didn't want to go talk to her. He looked so uncomfortable. I told him, "THEN DON'T." Why run off to chase after a 28y/o that is acting like a toddler? He did NOT go talk to her. It worked, after a short while she composed herself. It was all fake crying and fake drama to begin with. She has had crying tantrums countless times, this is the first time her tantrum has been related to me. It's usually some self-created drama that SD made for herself.

She's really exhausing which is why it's best to take a step-back and stop caring.

The problem is still there but it's easier to handle when you don't get mentally or emotionally invested. Welcome to being free.