Family pictures and x mas gifts

So around my house I have mostly pictures of my kiddos, as I am in charge of the decor in the house . We do have maybe 1 or 2 pictures of SD but for the most part she is hardly ever around. Sd has skipped out on family photos for 3 years now and my DH is a photographer so when we have all the kids BS12, DS7, DD4, DD1 ( SD skips out on her weekend) sometimes we will go to a park so DH can take photos of the kids. Some photos I had printed, framed and give to MiL ( MiL only had old baby photos of SD up) these were like 4X6 photos she has big photos up of SD. mIL always use to make the comment of photos we took "where is SD" well I guess she finally got the hit that SD doesnt come around . For Christmas DH had some photos he took of the girls and DS7 printed and framed ( big photos !!) to give to MIL in addition to her Christmas gift. I thought to myself, kuddos on you DH !!! So I know if SD 14 is around on Christmas Eve ( we normally all go to MiL house on x mas eve ) SD will make a huge deal about how she is not in the photos and I'm sure she will make her "sad face" and everyone will say "ohhhh poor SD she is left out again" when this happens I do both think I will be able To hold my tongue! I am so sick of her playing the " I'm left out " card when she is the one that makes no effort to come. I will also NOT feel bad about her only getting 2 gifts while my other kiddos are Opening all their gifts . I bought SD a hello kitty water bottle and that's it!!!!! Previously I have gotten her multiple gifts but this year I do not think she deserves it! We got her a expensive necklace for her birthday with her name on it ( she had it on her b day list ) and you know that she does? She constantly leaves it in our car, does she ask where is it? No! So that tells me she doesn't really care about it or the fact that we spend good money on it. I am glad that DH took initiative and printed these photos and had them framed for MIL , I just don't want others to yet again make him feel guilted or to blame for not including a pic of SD14 . Just a little holiday venting , I'm sure there will be more to come

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Simple Fix

If..or rather when she starts complaining about being "left out," kindly remind her that she was told about pictures being done on X date when she would be with you....but she chose to purposefully miss those custody visits for 3 years in a row. And let her know you will give her ample notice again next year for the set picture date, along with encouraging her to attend so she can be included in the family photos. Then smile and change the subject.

Yup I'm preparing my response

Yup I'm preparing my response . When DH told her about the family photos she missed she said she wanted him to take photos or only her and sent him a whole Pinterest of her photo shoot. Yes that didn't happen

No one can make DH feel any

No one can make DH feel any way. He chooses to feel that way. So, instead of just absorbing the SD woe is me crap and his parents/family's poor SD crap he needs to to call it immediately.

You of course would be in family pics if you did not continously choose not to come on picture day which you are always told about far in advance and reminded of.

SD needs to knock her poor me crap off and his family has to knock their poor SD crap off.

You both should confront it. But for sure DH has to be front and center in addressing that crap with his shit failed family progeny and his toxic Skid Kool-Aid drinking family.