Update on DH and I (Yep I'm blog hogging today)
He contacted some counselors yesterday and has a plan going forward of how he wants to finally be a part of this marriage. I asked him why now it was important and not our entire marriage? Is it because I’m looking at attorney’s, is it because he will lose the house, is it because he will lose a maid and cook, is it because I will take half his retirement, is it because the kids will probably resent him? It really just boggles my mind that he thinks after all this time, now is the time to suddenly step up and be a husband. Not because he loves me and wants to fight for me, but because he’s about to lose the cushy lifestyle he has. He claims that’s not true that he wants to fight for me because he doesn’t want to lose me, but honestly I think he’s just grasping at straws. I’ve been done for about a year or so now, I think by the time BD17 graduates next year he will finally be caught up to where I am at and realize how feeble this attempt is. So I will give him this time, I will let him take the steps and see if he really can improve himself and actually be present in our marriage and be a partner, I don’t think it will change the outcome, but wouldn’t it be a happy surprise if it did.
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It might be good to burn it
It might be good to burn it all down and see if you can start anew. Throw that at him and have him explain what he thinks a good marriage should look like. He probably doesn't even know. Then let him sit with that.
I like asking him what he
I like asking him what he thinks a good marriage looks like. I figure I can wait until BD17 graduates, that way it gives me time to really work on and sort out my feelings and for him to work on himself if he really intends to.
Lol @ him losing his cushy
Lol @ him losing his cushy lifestyle
Sadly most of them are like this.
I am in the works to end this relationship because this Disneyland dad would rather run a Bitch made Ex wife Beck and Call service. It is too much baggage than I want to deal with long term.
This dude saw my car packed with boxes and now all of a sudden he wants to be a better partner
Alot of it is just smoke and mirrors and worried about losing the perks you provide (realizing they'll have to do ALL the work themselves - most men with kids cannot hack it as single dads) because if they really cared they wouldn't wait until you're ready to leave to act right, they act right consistently the entire time.
I agree and he should have
I agree and he should have been invested this whole time, hence why I keep asking him what's different now. I figure I have time, especially once BD17 graduates then I really am free to decide where I am at.
BD 17 Graduation is not going to change anything.
Maybe he will stop paying support. Normally goes to 18 to 24 depending on the state. But I am sure BD going to need things. Food room and board help with college. A car ect you will be surprised in the ways he wil" be paying. BM will not give up
We are in CA support goes to
We are in CA support goes to 18, I'm not worried about that, DH and I don't hate each other, we are just roommates at this point and he needs to either piss or get off the pot so to speak when it comes to being active in our marriage. Spawn is aged out so Meth Mouth has no bearing in our relationship.
Your avatar
Made me think you were in Jersey!
Lol nope out here in good ol
Lol nope out here in good ol CA where it's hot, we have no water and in August everything will be on fire.
Maybe dinner opened his eyes?
Maybe the one on one dinner with spawn opened his eyes? Without you there as a convenient bad guy, or a buffer they had to listen to each other. He listened to her tale of perpetual victimhood, and how little family she has. Maybe it rang a little warning bell in his head that if he loses you, his only family is her! And right now, I think he's getting a pretty clear picture that she's not the person he wants to spend a lifetime with.
I think him going to counselling is a good sign. If he's truly open to it. Maybe he just doesn't really know HOW to be a good spouse and the counsellor can kick his butt and point him in the right direction. My fingers are crossed taht he takes the next year to grow and be better.
That is a very realistic
That is a very realistic possibility, and honestly I know things can't change in a few weeks or even a few months. I also know I have stuff to work on myself, like letting go of my anger and showing him its really a cover for all the hurt.
This is a two blog 1 comment.
This is a two blog 1 comment.
Ahhh she DID want a babysitter out of your BD!! These kids just don't grow up. Spawn sounds like my SS20 (next week) and BM for that matter.. they just can NOT see how their actions affect people.
I'm an angry person when I'm hurt. I have recently changed my words with SO. I just say that hurts my feelings etc. to try to get him to understand better.. instead of just stewing with bitch face on haha. Try this maybe it will work for you..
Like when none of the skids even texted me happy birthday throughout my work day and he made some lame excuse for all 3 of them saying:" they were waiting to see you." Like stfu with your excuses... I told this story two of his friends wives and they were appalled given my life. But yeah ...
Hopefully DH f'n gets it!!
Meth Mouth
Will never go away. She will find new way to be relevant in your life. SD will invited Meth Mouth to a dinner then invite you. GK birthday party's. Meth Mouth . Christmas Meth Mouth Ect. In order for your marriage to have a chance he must end the Meth Mouth stuff, Stop the mimi wife stuff. He is most likely not capable of doing that. Not with out help. It's coming down to his DD or you. This is years of his screwing up.