SS21 is very child like emotionally.  good kid, but immature and naive.  After graduating high school tried community college then dropped out while his girlfriend stayed in college and now girlfriend transferred to a state college (still lives nearby and attending on-line).  His girlfriend is very child like as well emotionally but at least is moving towards a future career with college and has ambition.  SS21 then said he was going to join the military, bought a book to study for ASVAB test.  Then did nothing else and that option went nowhere.

SS21 then decided he wanted to be a carpenter but needs a year of construction experience first to be eligible for a carpenter's apprentice job.   That was 1 1/2 years ago he started on that path working as a day laborer.  After that 1 year, he decided he wanted to go into HVAC instead.  He since has barely applied for jobs unless we push him, has no experience and DH and I told him to work on his EPA certification at least to see if that will help him get his foot in the door at a company.   he interviewed for a couple trainee positions but did not get a job offer.  SS21 bought EPA study book then lied and told us he was reading it and when I asked him a couple questions from the 1st chapter he couldn't answer and gave some BS answer and then admitted he didn't start on the book.  This is for a job he SAID he wants.

SS21 really doesn't do anything to work towards goals he says he has unless DH keeps after him.  kid is all talk (in my opinion to appease us) but very little action unless dad pushes him and holds his hand.  I get holding his had to some degree so he can learn, but SS21 only takes action when DH stays on top of him.   When DH lets up after teaching his son what to do and then gives him time to work on his career path, SS21 drops the ball.  

I am losing my patience and we charge SS21 very little rent.  Did not charge him anything for over a year so he could save up and buy a car but I had to sit down with SS21 every week and make him transfer money to savings account for car because otherwise he blew his paycheck on crap and eating out when left to his own devices.

I feel we should increase his rent now that he as the car and since he isn't following though on a future career.  I believe the kid has it made paying only $200 a month rent in our expensive area (apartments are $2000 a month) and won't work at anything because no need when living with us on easy street.  I feel we need to make it not so easy so eventually he will hopfully be motivated find a career path when it's not so easy to afford living with us. He is low level in his construction job and I don't have confidence he will move up the ladder at any time.  Oh, but he was motivated along with his girlfriend to make each other engagement rings and they are now considered engaged (sometime in the future he said, not soon)!

Is this the right approach?  any suggestions?  SS21 keeps telling us about different goals, we try to help him achieve them, but when we stop holding his hand and stop pushing, he does NOTHING.   I told DH we need to soon just stop helping since SS21 won't help himself.  Just let him do nothing for a good career if that is what he wants but don't make it so cheap to keep living with us.