This is a tough and odd question I have and hoping someone may have some experience on this issue.  I have to update security questionaire for my job and now I am married with 3 adult stepkids and stepkids should be listed (I do not need to list their phone numbers but give their address if available).  Youngest SS I have a pretty good relationship with and still lives at home.  older SS just an OK relationship (military and often deployed and don't really speak with much anymore).  adult SD have no relationship with (if you see my past postings you will know why). Honestly she is dead to me.  I never ask about her, nor does DH bring her up especially after the last time when I was in her presence I felt threatened as she was trying to physically intimidate me by blocking my path when I was walking to my seat to see my youngest SS graduate high school. Any mention of her actually causes me to have heart palpitations and stresses me out to this day years later as she got many of her relatives to gang up on me with her lies (not good for my health at all).  I believe she would delight in trying to sabatoge anything that has to do with me since she hates that her father and I married (and she could not control his household with her brothers as she was out of the house when we married and only 2 SS lived at home at the time).   Have any of you been in a similiar situation and how did you handle?   It's easy enough to forget about her and not sure if it would matter to leave her off in these circumstances, but I am in a panic at the thought of adding her name to the form if even to say we are estranged and I have no information about her.   I want to be transparent but feel terrified she could cause problems for me.