So, these things seemed so miniscule, but now i totally think they were red flags! Everyone was telling me that i was imagining this

I want to preface this with Sd17 is a horrible toxic person... if you need proof go read some of my posts...

So back in the day all the kids would get up and eat breakfast, but then one of the DDs would have to use the restroom, but as SOON as sd realized anyone was going to use the restroom she'd RACE them to the bathroom and "go to the restroom". I put quotes around it because sure she'd pee, but then she'd sit there, for over 20 minutes, and the other kids would knock on the door and ask if she's almost done, and she'd say, "almost" and another 10 minutes would go by, meanwhile we have 2 other children NEEDING to use the restroom... she'd come out with a big smile, and i asked, "Did you at least spray?" She's like "no, i just peed."  .... so you made people wait for 30 minutes... for you to pee? You RACED them to the toilet so you could take 30 minutes to PEE?

After this was an issue a few times, she was no longer allowed to use the restroom first, she had to wait for everyone else to use the restroom.  And all if a sudden her bathroom trips were less than 5 minutes... funny how that works...

Something else she would do was manipulate situations. She'd be so mean to the DDs and when they would try to come tell on her, she rush to "tell" first, and contort the story so that when DDs would tell what happened it didn't match up... it wasn't until it was cought on camera that we realized what was actually happening.  She was cought on tape pushing youngest DD, then DD pushed back, and SD pushed again, dd grabbed the camera to come tell on sd, but sd rushed in first, we saw on camera what happened... SD was lying, she denied pushing at all... (both girls were reprimand for pushing)

Sd would literally cry for the simplest things, she'd fall from 1inch height on her butt and cry hysterically. She was stirring pasta and she was taking the spoon to the sink and a drop of water landed on her finger and she cried hysterically. She refused to learn to ride a bike because she'd throw her feet out to the side (instead of keeping them in the pedals) and fall over, and she SCREAMED blood curdling screams every single time she fell... I think of all the times she fell, there was 1 scraped knee... so then we bought her knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and of course she always had her helmet. She still screamed blood curdling screams when she fell. This being said, I got so tired of her crying over the simplest things, me telling her to stop being so mean to DDs, like she's always trying to start fights, so I told her to "just stop" this girl literally just stopped. Yes I told her to, but what child actually just stops crying on command like that?  This actually kinda scared me... like this girl can be having a complete melt down sobbing hysterically and then like a snap, just stop? Seems almost like a psychopath... 

When telling them goodbye (like they were all spending the night away), SD would rush to give the first hug, then when I'd make sure to give my high anxiety DD a hug last, SD would come back around and give another hug. So then I'd give my daughters a hug again, AGAIN making sure my high anxiety daughter got her last hug in (it made her feel secure). SD always tried to "get the last hug"... but i wouldn't allow it. 

My family told me I had to stop being so hard on her (I was never hard on her, I would just vent to my parents), then finally they saw it themselves. It was always in a sneaky and manipulative manner, so unless you KNOW what you're looking at, you wouldn't see it.  DH STILL falls for it 90% of the time. He's ALWAYS wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt... but I'm ALWAYS on guard with her.  99% of everything she says/ does has a hidden motive behind it.