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Poor DH so excited that he got to spend time with sd this weekend

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Mon, 10/23/2023 - 3:58pm

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DH didn't even realize that sd was here from college this weekend until he saw her at his neices game this weekend,  she sat with him for a few minutes,  then went back to sit by her mom. 

Then on her way back out of town on Sunday,  she stopped by for 15min and left.  The whole weekend from Friday to Sunday he saw her for less than an hour... 

 

I could care less (I'm actually thrilled to not have to even pretend to like sd because she's never even around). But to see DH seem so thrilled to have spent less than an hour with his daughter, knowing full well she's been here for 3 whole days... it's kinda sad to see suckle at every morsel she drops for him. Maybe I'm feeling a little bit grossed out by it too lol

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/23/2023 - 10:08pm

Lather... rinse... repeat in various word configurations.

"When are you going to realize that you will always get nothing but the scraps until you make it clear that the pain of cutting you out will escalate for your daughter and her idiot mother?"

He is treated pathetically because he is acting pathetically.

IMHO of course.

Good luck to you in all of this noxious failed family drama.

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Tue, 10/24/2023 - 1:03pm

But what pain? BM has instilled it into sd's mind that her father is garbage... throwing out the garbage causes no pain... the only one hurting in all of this is DH... and he laps up and scrap sd tossed him

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 10/25/2023 - 9:52pm

facts.   Scrub the Skid's nose in the noxious stench the BM emits while recounting the CO and the facts of BM's historic manipulative crap, lies, etc.  Tie the pain to denial of $$$ unless SD engages.

Lather.... rinse.... repeat.

Will it work. Maybe. But if concerted steps are not taken to confront the toxic BM and the PASd kid's drinking of BM's KoolAid, nothing can or will change.

I would far rather fail while doing something than doing nothing to fix the situation while sniffing the backsides of a toxic X and the failed family spawn for scraps.

Just my thoughts of course.

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 7:33am

We've done this... we've reminded her of the facts that we KNOW she's witnessed... she conviently "doesn't remember" any of it.  Or at most she remembers SOMETHING vaguely about what we say... but adamantly still believes BM over DH. 

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Mon, 10/23/2023 - 6:26pm

Typical.   And it's so pathetic how they act.  I'm glad he's not trying to scapegoat you and blame it on you.   Ive had that happen to me.

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Tue, 10/24/2023 - 1:14pm

I very carefully never bad mouthed sd and her actions... I did every now and then (after he himself noticed sd lies to bm and makes up scenarios) tell him how I felt like I was walking on egg shells around sd. I had never said it to him before because I thought maybe I was just crazy, or maybe i was just nit picking everything sd wad doing/has done. But as she grew older the more manipulative and conniving she became... and her target widened from just my oldest daughter, to include me, to include DH, to sometimes include my youngest daughter (when it suits her motive)

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 10/24/2023 - 8:14am

Watching my DH trip over himself to accommodate and make plans with his Spawn is one of the many reasons why our marriage is dying.  My DH can’t even make plans to take me out on a date, but if his Spawn crooks her finer he gets everything organized and set up and has it done in record time.  Then he wonders why I’ve got one foot out the door.

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Tue, 10/24/2023 - 10:12am

I'm actually very lucky!  DH had slowly begun to see sd for what she truly is (only to a certain extent)

Sd is very manipulative... but DH knows I've often suggested that he and her spend time together. When she refused to come visit because we didn't fall for her lies... I suggested him offer to take her out, just him and her. Or when she refused to come over because she swore we didn't believe she sprung her ankle (we all saw her walk on it with no problem, but we went along with it... but when I saw her walking on it I mentioned "Oh, I'm so glad it seems that your ankle is feeling better!" I still often told DH to reach out to her.  I ALWAYS supported DH and his daughter's relationship... even if I truly enjoy a SD free existence... he's also walked in on sd FREAKING OUT on me offering to help her ice my daughter's cake because she looked like she was struggling (DH heard my offers to help and knew that I wasn't being rude or anything about it). There was one time (while DH and BM kept switching weekends) that I made a treat that I enjoy making with almonds, but I omit almonds when SD is there because she is supposedly allergic to them (later to find out through testing that she's not allergic, but I still omit them just for argument sake). I guess I got confused because sd DID come that week... and she took a bite out of the treat from the fridge... I told her not to eat it and to throw that peice away.  Come Sunday night, DH got a phone call from BM about how I tried to make sd eat something she's allergic to (she hasn't been tested for it yet, but had been accidently eating it all the time with ZERO reaction). I explained to DH what had happened, and how she had only had a bite and had no reaction, so I didn't think to tell him about it... but yes... DH sees how sd twists things around... it's even happened to him that sd would tell BM how DH did this or that, and he's like "well yea xxx happened, but it wasn't like that... "  so he knows that sd has truly disconnected from us on her own accord and that we've done everything to try to support HIS relationship with her.

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Tue, 10/24/2023 - 10:12am

I'm actually very lucky!  DH had slowly begun to see sd for what she truly is (only to a certain extent)

Sd is very manipulative... but DH knows I've often suggested that he and her spend time together. When she refused to come visit because we didn't fall for her lies... I suggested him offer to take her out, just him and her. Or when she refused to come over because she swore we didn't believe she sprung her ankle (we all saw her walk on it with no problem, but we went along with it... but when I saw her walking on it I mentioned "Oh, I'm so glad it seems that your ankle is feeling better!" I still often told DH to reach out to her.  I ALWAYS supported DH and his daughter's relationship... even if I truly enjoy a SD free existence... he's also walked in on sd FREAKING OUT on me offering to help her ice my daughter's cake because she looked like she was struggling (DH heard my offers to help and knew that I wasn't being rude or anything about it). There was one time (while DH and BM kept switching weekends) that I made a treat that I enjoy making with almonds, but I omit almonds when SD is there because she is supposedly allergic to them (later to find out through testing that she's not allergic, but I still omit them just for argument sake). I guess I got confused because sd DID come that week... and she took a bite out of the treat from the fridge... I told her not to eat it and to throw that peice away.  Come Sunday night, DH got a phone call from BM about how I tried to make sd eat something she's allergic to (she hasn't been tested for it yet, but had been accidently eating it all the time with ZERO reaction). I explained to DH what had happened, and how she had only had a bite and had no reaction, so I didn't think to tell him about it... but yes... DH sees how sd twists things around... it's even happened to him that sd would tell BM how DH did this or that, and he's like "well yea xxx happened, but it wasn't like that... "  so he knows that sd has truly disconnected from us on her own accord and that we've done everything to try to support HIS relationship with her.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 9:29am

Your not SD Servant.  She is an adult and can ice her own cake. Or do her own thing.  I understand your problem with DH.  He's a disneeey dad,  his DD can do no wrong.  Just make sure he's not bank rolling her .. 

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 3:39pm

The cake was for my daughter... SD offered to ice the cake... which SEEMED nice... but it was so that she skimped out on the icing so that she could eat the rest of the tub all to her self later...  but if I called her out on it, I'd be the bad guy.