Gift Giving... Opinions needed
What is everyone's stance on helping SKs shop for Christmas? I have asked SD11 countless times (Do you have any ideas for your Dad? What what were thinking of? etc.) Everytime I ask she says either "I don't know or I can't think of anything."
She has a debit card and also an Amazon account. She constantly asks DH to go shopping when it is BMs birthday, Mother's Day etc....She has no problem online shopping for room decor and having it shipped to our house. I guess I'm just frustrated she makes zero effort for her Dad. Should I just let it go? Or should I just put her name on a tag of something I already got from "us"?
Advice please!
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I’m in the same boat!
I've been struggling with this for a couple years! When I initially got together with the skids dad, I would take them out together to pick something out. Then I would pay for it and we'd come home and wrap it. As they got older, they don't like going out with me, so I would get ideas, go get it, and bring it back for them to wrap. Now no one has any ideas. They are difficult kids as it is, and I'm supposed to keep trying to get them to engage in buying gifts?! I have finally gotten one idea out of SS, which I'm going to buy him and give him to wrap. My SD had an idea and I tried to help, but she hasn't reached out again. Then I get a text asking if I've gotten it yet (her gift idea) of course I hadn't, you never asked me to as we didn't even talk about it again. Therefore, I will be having a discussion with their dad soon that I will no longer take responsibility for his gifts. They will be one their own. If they come to me and ask me to take them to by something, absolutely I will otherwise, he will get nothing from his kids. Their problem, not mine.
I need to also say that, for their dad's birthday, no ideas came from them so I gave them ideas. SD agreed with one and come with me to buy it and wrap it. Them she wrote in his card "SM (me) picked this out for you so it's actually from her and you can thank her". That was what really pushed me over the edge to not want to be involved in this gifting crap.
My suggestion to you is perhaps give her an idea or two, and leave it up to her. If she can order things for herself online. Then she can do it for her dad. They don't need their hands to be held every step of the way at these ages!
I helped SS when he was that
I helped SS when he was that age, provided he was interested in getting something for DH when I made the offer of help. If he did what your SD is doing, I just let it go. I'd tell your SD that she's on her own to get him a gift. Eventually my SS stopped getting him gifts at all. He's almost 22 and last year was the first time he got DH a gift in 6 years.
Tell DH
Tell DH to do a Christmas list for the family.