Bm basically told dh ss would be missing his flight to come home
Extreme HCBM is making our lives miserable even 2000 miles away. Co says she gets 7 days at Christmas break and dh makes and pays for the travel. She has whined and complained about every date and time dh has offered her sp he finally just booked the trip and gave her the times.
The dates he gave her are 7 full days and 7 nights. She wanted ss to fly out the day after Christmas and then not return until he goes back to school. That would leave dh with no holiday break with his son and in the co, dh has already given up all the holidays. They alternate Christmas. Dh gets 4 days of the break and bm gets 7. With bm's request, he would only get 2 days. He told her he would compromise and do the morning of the 27th until the day before he goes back to school. So she will even have ss on the 8th day for a little.
The woman went bat crazy with harassing emails and phone calls (dh doesn't respond)
Finally, she responded that if dh doesn't want to be worried about ss missing his flight then he should change the already booked flights to HER dates.
So what? Dh is supposed to send his son knowing that bm won't send him back? Ugh. Poor guys
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He replies back with specific wording of court order
And replies with "if you do not put our son on that flight, i will be taking you to court for contempt of court and seek reimbursement/damages from you for the full costs of flights you illegally refused to put our son on"
he needs to nail this hcgubm biatch and play hardball. Lay down the law on this idiot
I'd take it a step further
I'd take it a step further and have the attorney send a letter. I think also preparing SS by telling him when his flights are, where they're at, and at which airport will be important. He can try to make BM comply, too. If she still doesn't put him on a plane, hopefully he'll be on your side about it and can advocate for himself should the police need to be called.
Yea he said he would start
Yea he said he would start walking. Ha
Like she would pay.
Like she would pay.
Absolutely what the others
Absolutely what the others have said. She needs to know that under no uncertain terms that none of this is up for negotiation.
This would be custodial interference and parental kidnapping- make sure your lawyer adds that in and that if he isn't on the plane out of there you will pursue criminal charges against her, not just contempt.
Honestly right now I think she is strutting like a peacock trying to make it seem like she has a say in this and can control the situation, She doesn't, I think she will bow down regardless because if he misses the flight she is on the hook to get him home and we all know she can't afford that last minute flight!
Agreed on the control factor.
Agreed on the control factor. It is hard for dh not to engage in her rampant emails but at this point, I told him he just needs to ignore her. He booked the flights and gave her appropriate dates that meet the court order. There is nothing more to say.
YES. Ignore. Don't threaten
YES. Ignore. Don't threaten her with legal consequences at this point. Just ignore everything. She wants to know she's making him angry and worried. Don't give her that satisfaction.
I would be ready to drop that
I would be ready to drop that letter from a lawyer if she doesn't put him on the return flight. I suspect she is just making a fuss because she can and your SS will be on that flight. However be ready to pull the trigger on contempt charges if he isn't.
I wholeheartedly disagree.
I wholeheartedly disagree. HCBM's have a habit of taking silence as consent. He needs to document that he is not in agreement & the steps he will take. Otherwise, I can see BM playing dumb & going "he didn't say anything, so I thought I was ok" and walking away without consequence.
It is hard enough to have a court order consequences. Take a look at some of these cases - justmakingthebest's comes to mind especially. DH shouldn't engage in a back & forth - just a "SS is on the plane or I will be filing for contempt & holding you accountable for all costs" then "asked and answered see previous comment".
As I commented on your
Comment back to me stating that she would not put him on his return flight, your DH needs to stand his ground and tell her if she does not put him on his return flight then she will be in contempt of the court order.
Personally, I think BM is just trying to get her way. If your DH changes to the dates she wants she will continue this type of behavior on anything and everything to get her way. Your DH is simply exercising his right to arrange the transportation. Sounds like he even tried working with her to compromise, but she wouldn't compromise so your DH made the decision.
he should tell her "I tried to compromise and arrange flights that worked for both households. You would not compromise in accordance to the court order on the division of SS's break days. Therefore, I have exercised my right according to the court order and booked SS's flight. If you refuse to put him on his return flight, you will be in contempt of the court order and I will be forced to file contempt."
Tell her to buzz off.
Tell her to buzz off.
IF she refuses to comply with court order your lawyer is prepared to file for every possible relief available to include: all court and your lawyer fees. AND she may loose what little visitation she has.
In the mean time, double check wording in court order:
7 nights would be 7 sleeping nights in a bed at moms, depart on 8th day.
7 days would be 6 sleeping nights in a bed at moms, depart on 7th day.
Sorry about all this.
Just book the flights
On court order days. In the second half of the break. SS will be arriving at X date must be on flight on Y date to be in school on z date. That how it is
Good points all around. The
Good points all around. The court order does not say 7 nights but 7 days. Dh made sure she had 7 nights so there was nothing she could say. She is so passed off right now because she thought ss would hate living here but he really loves it.