Question to those with out of state co
OK dh has full custody. Ss15 is supposed to go to visit hcbm on holiday breaks. Christmas break says 7 days. Does this include travel?
We pay for the flights because she didn't want to, so it was our interpretation that we choose the flights and notify her and that the flights can occur on her days just as travel would occur on any other day if we lived a city a part. What is the correct reading of this? Again it is vague.
Dh tried working with her and compromising and even having ss travel on one of our days but she said no and basically told us when to book the flights. I think dh should just book what he wants since bm choose not to share in the payments of the tickets however he doesn't want to come off like he is keeping ss from bm.
Mind you, dh did give an extra weekend for the month of October. Can bm legally do anything if dh just books what he wants? Ss still doesn't want to live with her. I am so tired of her always trying to control everything. Any advice would help.
- MountainMom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Your CO needs to be more
Your CO needs to be more clearly spelled out. We are long distance with my SS, but it is short enough to drive - about 8-10 hours round-trip.
We split Christmas break down the middle and annually alternate halves so one year, DH gets Christmas and BM gets New Years and the next year, BM gets Christmas and DH gets New Years. BM and DH are to count the number of days of break and divide by two. If it is an odd number of days, DH gets the extra overnight. Travel is included in that number of days, so DH picks up SS from BM and does transportation with SS during day one of our visitation and BM picks up SS during from us and does transportation day one of her visitation regardless of who has which half.
Your CO doesn't define Christmas break? Usually it should say something along the lines of "Christmas break is defined as the day after school releases to the day before school resumes." If not, I would still say "Yes" that transportation is included in BM's visitation time.
I agree there are holes that
I agree there are holes that should have been addressed. However, when bm had full custody, dh's travel was included in the visitation. Dh has tried working with her but she argues over every little thing.
Be the bigger person
If your DH has SS most of the time, and BM gets very little time with him...be the bigger people. Sure she "may" be getting an extra day or two that isn't in the CO. Is there any harm? Unless she's taking Christmas Day every year, or brainwashing SS and the extra time will make a difference why not just give her an extra day or two.
The best way to determine if something is fair: Do what you would want her to do if the situation was reversed.
The harm is that bm is the
The harm is that bm is the most despicable, angry, and hateful person. When she had full custody, she wouldn't let dh even come to soccer games or practices or she would pull ss out of the sport. This is why ss doesn't want to be with her. Regarding the current, she has all the major holidays so for Christmas break, she wants him to come earlier than agreed on. Yes, we could be the bigger person but we want a freaking holiday too. I think dh has done a great job being the bugger person. He always tries to find a compromise in the situation and bm just bitches. Anyways dh made it fair. He will travel on one of her days and on one of his days.
7 days should be calculated
7 days should be calculated by overnights. So if the day the flight arrives is day 1, the day the flight leave would be your "day" within the break.
Exactly
Exactly
Yes, 7 days includes travel.
Yes, 7 days includes travel. And if it says BM has to pay or help pay, then take her back to court for the money.
It sounds like your CO needs to be
more specific. Ours says that the DH's visitation times begins the day school lets out for break and that SD must be back at BM's by 5 pm the day before school resumes. It outlines that DH is responsible for transportation. AKA he pays for it in full, but is also the one who decides on the tickets, etc.
That's what ours says! Dh is
That's what ours says! Dh is responsible for paying and booking flights.
I would do then what my DH does
Reference the page and place it lists in the CO that your DH is responsbile for paying and booking for flights and tell BM to reference this information. BM tried to argue she had a say, etc. in the booking of SD's flights and DH shut that down with according to the CO it is solely his right and responsibility to book and plan the travel for SD so all he did was exercise his right. Since BM has claimed again she is possibly moving out of VA for like the 100th time, all DH has done/does is prior to booking the flights confirm with BM that for the holidays, etc. that BM will not be out of state or anything so he can book the closest airport to her residence. That way reduces the amount of booking and rescheduling flights in case she would be somewhere else for summer or Christmas vacation. Other than that, we send BM the info on the dates, times, flight info, etc. for SD's flights. For Christmas, I added it on the co-parenting app calendar so all the info is there for her to easily access to lessen the frustration and communication with BM on the subject
So dh booked the trip and bm
So dh booked the trip and bm basically said he will miss his flight home. Ugh
Maybe not the best move
But I would then tell BM I hope she likes being found in contempt in court then. Because not only is she not following the court order in allowing your DH to exercise his right in booking SS's flight, but now she is in contempt of not sending SS back to his father who has primary custody.
Sounds like BM is trying to bully your DH into what she wants and I wouldn't let it happen or she is going to do it on everything to get her way. I wouldn't say what I said unless you are willing to take her to court over it.