No "Woe is me" song at the concert for Feral Forger SD22...!

We went to a concert Saturday night, and who should pop up briefly, but Feral Forger SD22. We live in a small town. It was a sort of pricey ticket at a really nice local venue. Granted, she had the less expensive balcony seat, but for someone who is not working and crying "poor me, no one loves me, life is so HARD", well lets just say that ship has sailed big time. For anyone remaining under any illusions of FF SD needing sympathy and help, the concert took that away.

when she saw DH she said hello, to him, and his words to her were "sure have fun, but you need to make things work with your mother, thats your home." To which I heard her reply "Im TRYING". She is VERY trying. Trying any of my last vestiges of patience, that is.

She didnt DESERVE to be there. And how dare she text ME, about her problems, blaming ME. Make me the bad guy because I dont want to support her lazy, bad attitude, gross self and have to deal with her everyday.

And SD15 shared with me that a cousin of her friend was telling her she needs to help her sister, because of some troubling posts about "giving up, life is so hard...woe is me"...on social media. LOL. FINALLY SD15 told me she told her freind to tell he cousin "NOT my problem"...

It was a REALLY fun night. My girlfriend told me she saw FF when I mentioned we saw her, and said "yes, she gave me a REALLY dirty look too! Probably thought I was you..." we get the "you two seem like sisters" comment, so maybe thats true. I just think that back when FF was allowed into my social media before she used it as a tool to flog her father with, she saw my friends picture.

DH's take on it was "well, she did give you a (fake) hug". OH GOODY FOR ME.

well, I still have her blocked so it really was a fun weekend...

CLove's blog
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I think you were the only one

I think you were the only one who thought she needed sympathy and help, lol.

Oh no - DH family

And SD15 friends cousin!

And probably DH on some levels...this just illustrates how not deserving she is, in spite of her innate sense of entitlement.

Oh, I meant on this board.

Oh, I meant on this board. Your DH clearly still does think that, to some degree.

HAH.

Yeah. I guess there was a small, tiny little shriveled up grain of sympathy in the really dark hard to find spaces inside me... because Toxic Troll for a mother...

Well, once you are as adult,

Well, once you are an adult, you are responsible for fixing the damage your parents cause you. She just vomits it all over everyone else. Plus, you can feel sorry for a wounded snake, but still be smart enough to know it's dangerous.

She's good at playing the victim, but that doesn't make her one.

Yes, she has Toxic Troll for

Yes, she has Toxic Troll for a mother but she is 22, now, and does not have to live with TT. She chooses to not have a job or a DL and do what she needs to do to move out.

My dear Clove,

You are a stone empath and will never change. I'll bet the farm that yon ~ tiny little shriveled up grain of sympathy ~ has more heft to it than you'll admit. We'll toughen you up yet, Hon!

Thanks Granny!

See my latest blog...

Your DH gave FF the best

Your DH gave FF the best answer. Yeah! And you still have her blocked. Good on you!

As for SD15, proceed with caution. IMO, it will simply be a matter of time before she's Backstabbing again.

Full on guard up...

FF - Yes, he did. VERY happy about that.

SD15 B/M - Shes on her best behavior right now. Because homecoming. Which was fun she said...I stayed out of it. Didnt take any pictures, etc...but she was very conversational this weekend..

But, I just know at a moments notice things can turn. So I am guarded.

Glad to hear that, hon. xoxo

YOu know, we all give you a

YOu know, we all give you a hard time about disengaging, but I will say this- ALL teens can be absolute backstabbing aholes during those years-even to their own parents, even to GOOD parents that do a lot for them. I really think it's unfair how much shade and dirt gets thrown her way for making a very few bad decisions - were they hurtful? yes. Was she an as*? Yes. Does she deserve being cut out of your life for eternity and forced to hold a grudge and call her backstabber to appease the lynch mob here? Absolutely not.

You are doing the right thing, you stay guarded but also have room in your hear for forgiveness, redemption, restoring your relationship. I simply do not understand some of the advise here- SD has NOT been a constant thorn or awful to you - these are either women with no children or women that are grudge holders (like my MIL-never forget, never forgive, never restore, never move on). I find that mentality and approach a thousand times more toxic then yours.

Be careful, be guarded but allow yourself to enjoy the good times, allow yourself to change what you call her and soften. Life can make you bitter, unforgiving and hard the rest of your life, or broken and forgiving.with clear boundaries, or broken and a doormat. You are choosing the middle road, bravo. Happy for you.

No comment on FF, lost cause there though lol