and what I have seen on here, any BM who uses the words "co-parent" and complains/whines about why the other parent cannot "co-parent" really just want to control everything like you started in your subject. I don't know any step parent personally who actually has a situation where co-parenting is a real option. However, I would think the people who can actually co-parent with their child/children's other parent does not ever need to use the words co-parent because it is just done. 

To these high conflict BM's, if you are not bending to their will, letting them control everything, or doing exactly what they want then the other parent is being difficult and unreasonable so to make themselves look good they ask why can't they just co-parent with them. However, these women do not really understand the definition of co-parenting nor do they really want that, they just want complete control. Usually in these circumstances, co-parenting is not even possible, but rather parallel parenting is what is needed.

After rambling, the point is you nailed it on the head, BM just wants control

I know that it's frustrating but your DH handled it perfectly.

She is pissed that she is not getting her way AND pissed that he is not engaging in a back-and-forth with her. These bitches hate it when they can't drag our DH's into an argument.

And, really, he is being flexible. He's allowing her to drop them off on Saturday, instead of Friday evening. So, screw her.

All of her other banter is just her trying to put a guilt trip on him and trying to get him to engage with her. Again, screw her.

I hope she doesn't call you're DH and start screaming at him now. 

Who have been on a post divorce pas vindictive crazy biatch rampage and suddenly when called out on all this or just one day say to the exhusband "i hope we can put our differences aside for the sake of our kids" when hcgubm made damn well sure this was never possible.

best thing is ignore and refer to court order wording and ignore any bullshit from her. When she starts berating and harassing you non stop for not being accommodating, its very tempting to screenshot all those time she was never accommodating to call her out on her bullshit but no good will come out of it. 

she'll use it as ammo to attack you even more

Could have been written by our BM.

DH once got an all caps text that said, "RESPOND TO ME!!!" Similar situation, BM wanted to change drop off/pick up arrangements, DH had already agreed to change 3 weeks prior to pickup but then she wanted to change again, when he didn't respond, she changed her mind and wanted something different, this went on for several rounds with no response from DH until he got that "RESPOND TO ME!!!" message. He still waited until the next day and finally said, "As agreed on x date, I will be dropping the kids off on [day] at [time]." Her comeback (she always has to have the last word), "WELL YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT!" He did tell you that, 3 weeks ago, you psycho. ROFL.

Is it crazy that we have all seen this same exact conflict and conversation play out in our own versions? Co-parenting always devolves into do what I say. These types are more concerned about racking up these petty wins while hiding behind lawyers and the co, if it fits their narrative. 

These people couldn't solve any of their problems while they were together and they certainly are not any better of it and now that they are "co-parenting" separately.

Our BM loved to do everything like this. BM has sole legal and physical custody due to DH and BM being unwed... that's it. DH did nothing to warrant BM getting full custody. During the initial court proceedings that occurred when SS was a baby, BM withheld all contact until SS was two. She said because there was no ordered CO yet, she owed DH nothing. DH fought BM tooth and nail for visitation, but BM kept playing games to dodge contact. When the judge went to reevaluate custody at the end of the court process, he decided BM would keep sole custody because DH had barely ever met SS... thanks to BM's doing. 

To this day, when BM insists that DH fails to "coparent" and acts out like this, she always throws in "things are the way they are because of choices you made." We believed she was referring to the fact that DH didn't see SS for two years due to BM and that is was her way of calling him a deadbeat. And this may have been part of her reasoning. The first time she said this and provided actual reason for her anger, SS was 5 and BM indicated that she was mad that DH refused to sign the birth certificate without proof of paternity. 5 YEARS and she was still holding that grudge. DH had been added to SS' birth certificate after the courts determined paternity, so his name was only left off for a few months, and she held this grudge over something that had been corrected for 5 years. We have learned that we either cave to BM to "coparent" and be miserable, or we stand our ground, whether she likes it or not, and enjoy our lives. All she wants is control. You really cannot coparent with high conflict. 

Anyone on this site is unlikely to have a BM that actually knows what it means to co-parent.  Our BM is the same way. Co-parent means do whatever she demands.  

And give her control of your home.  It's only going to get worst.  And all will be lost.  All you would be doing is accommodating her wishes