I'm baaaack
BF just announced that he wants full custody of DS. Lawyer told him he has a great case. If you haven’t been following my posts, BM has taken DS away and refuses contact with BF. She now has stated that DS will never see his grandpop, grand mom, aunt, uncle and nieces until BF dumps me.
BF just announced that he wants full custody of DS. No discussion with me, nothing. Just announced that he discussed this with the lawyer. If you haven’t been following DS has called me a skank (Courtesy of BM) and how I am dating other people.
Since I wasn’t involved in the discussion, I’m not sure about what to think. After being on this site and reading all of the stories and issues, I’m not sure I want to be with him if he gets full custody. Not sure. Kinda pizzed that I was not talked to about this. I feel like I have been emotionally, physically and publicly dragged through the mud by BM and now disregarded by him. We have therapy today. I will keep you posted.
Also,
DS has made it VERY CLEAR that he will NOT have a relationship with BF until he dumps me...
Please refer to your StepSon
Please refer to your StepSon as SS. DS is an indicator of DearSon/BioSon. It is a bit confusing when the acronyms are misused.
As for whether you remain in this relationship or not. At most I would let him know that this is a one and done situation and if he at any point in the future fails to discuss with you anything and everything that has impact on your life BEFORE he makes any decision on that topic that he has 15mins to pack his bags and leave.
IMHO of course.
Ugh, sorry. I'd be highly
Ugh, sorry. I'd be highly upset about him making that decision and not consulting me.
Bigger question is
Why are you staying in this relationship. Doing thing behind your back isn't a good thing. Did you ask DH how he going to take care of SS if he has him 24/7/365 . Tell him all care is on him. He must make arrangements for child care, house cleaning, cooking, ect.
No no no. You ABSOLUTELY
No no no. You ABSOLUTELY deserve kindness and respect and it doesn't sound like your DH can ensure you'd get that from SS so how can he go for full custody??? Even if his son is an absolute terror, chances are he will side with his son and always make you out to be the bad guy and say you aren't understanding enough. I highly do not recommend this life.
If it costs your peace it's too expensive.
He "announced" he is going
He "announced" he is going for full custody? Oh nooooooo - I would be packing my bags as I wouldn't wish to live with someone who brought another person to live with us, no matter who, without fully discussing with me first.
Thank you
We dealt with it in therapy, where therapist told BF that this affects me as well, and he needs to discuss big life events with me from now on. I understand him wanting SS away from BM because of her behavior I am still not sure what to think about it…….
SS has started reaching out to BF, talking small talk when BM not home, telling him things like he cannot wait to “visit” him. He does not ask about me or mention if we are still together (As last I heard he told BF he would never see him again until he dumps me).
In addition to BM bringing stacks of BF’s text messages (If you haven’t been following she broke into his iCloud account years ago and has been reading EVERYTHING he has done) and showed a thread message texts to the court between a woman named “Carol” who BF had dated briefly and he sent some D*** pics. BM made the comment that this would surely break us up once I find out about it. The problem is that the thread was dated before we met and he told me about her (Ummm not about the D*** pics but I already knew about her!!!)
Anyway, I don’t know if SS is reaching out now because he thinks we are broken up or not. My anxiety is through the roof, I have no desire to go through what I went though before. BF changed his Icloud credentials when he found out she broke into his information, so I am thinking it may be a ploy by both of them to get back into his account. I made it very clear in therapy that since I have been emotionally, physically and publicly dragged through the mud by BM and WILL NOT BE disregarded by BF. I have been househunting, we decided to get one togehter since SS was gone, now I am going to go back to my original plan to get my own house. To be continued I guess!!!!
In case you didnt know, bm
In case you didnt know, bm will keep custody of your boyfriends son UNTIL she is in the clinker.
He 'may' have a better chance at 50 50 shared residential...such as week on, week off--. But full custody. Not a chance.
Love that!
Thank you!
Switching custody almost
Switching custody almost takes an act of god. You have to prove that the child would be substantially better off with you and that staying where they are would be seriously detrimental to the child. Bm being a nasty person is not enough. There would need to be concrete evidence of something like child abuse or substance abuse usually. Even then she will still get something. Courts almost never cut mom out of the picture. Dads are different but that's another story.
Unless your bf got a magic lawyer it seems unlikely this will ever happen.
I think so too
I am trying to stay out of his drama with BM but she keeps dragging me into it. Ten pages in the deposition of her venonious rigmarole about me.