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Officially a wicked stepmother

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 3:42pm

I have officially become a wicked stepmother. One of my SSs spends every visitation with us complaining that we don't spend enough money on him. BM has also told him how much CS DH pays and he has decided that his father doesn't pay enough. In our state, CS is determined by income and not only did BM  hide some of her income on the last calculation, but DH also agreed to pay more than he was legally required because he wanted to switch holidays. I officially hate this child. He is a teen and he is always stirring the pot on behalf of BM. I dread seeing him, I dread hearing about him, I avoid him when he is around, I wish he would just stop coming around.
 

Comments

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 4:08pm

Nothing you do is going to change anything.  So stop trying.  

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 4:45pm

I've been disengaged from him for a while. I either tell DH they have to go to the family cabin without me or I stay in my room when he is around. It bugs me that I have to hide in my own home, but I can't even stand to be around him at all right now. The last time I spent time with this kid, I yelled at him and he cried, leading DH to get mad at me, even though DH later admitted that the kid was in the wrong. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 5:13pm

Welcome to the Dark Side, would you like a cocktail?

We have meetings on Tuesdays. With cookies!

cam2016's picture

Submitted by cam2016 on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 6:17pm

Didnt mean to laugh but this is such a common situation. BM was wrong for telling him about child support and how much. Also, is this a relationship you want to be in or see getting any better as the kid isnt going to go anywhere... something to think about

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 7:15pm

Some times, I wonder how much longer I can put up with this kid. I've been honest with DH about my feelings. He understands as much as he can, but this kid is not going away.  

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 6:24pm

I wouldn't want to be around him either. He sounds like a miserable little turd. Teenagers often are but the parents remember them as cute little cherubs and also hold out hope that they will improve, and carry on the family line as a respectable member of society. Stepparents don't have any of this, especially if the stepparent has little to no control over the skid because the bioparents undermine them. All you can do at that point is write them off and try not to let them ruin your life. 

shellpell's picture

Submitted by shellpell on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 6:28pm

If I were your dh I would have projects every visit- weed pulling, garage clean out, etc. put this kid to work! Who cares if he hates it and complains? He might decide not to come after all!

oh and move as soon as you can far, far away! 

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 7:19pm

DH actually does something like that, not on purpose, but that's because that's what he does on weekends. The kid just complains. I'm waiting for him to stop coming...maybe when COVID passes over and he can do more with his friends. 

Now, I think he also wants to get away from his stepbrother, whom he doesn't get along with because the stepbrother is "mean to mom". I guess I should take heart that he is also miserable at BM's house.

I'm counting down the days until we can move thousands of miles away. I've told DH that I'm not sure if I'll make it until Skids are 18...we have 44 months left. I should start a countdown chart for myself. 

shellpell's picture

Submitted by shellpell on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 7:43pm

You don't neee to wait til 18. When they are older teens they won't want to come every other weekend anyway (usually). Maybe 16 and a couple of longer trips.