A-hole.

Disclaimer:  No offense meant to those who might take my smart alec-y title as making light of any program or disrespect towards those who participate in such program(s).

Just for fun I wanted to volunteer a bit more generic info on myself - y'know, beyond the outdated profile one liner that intentionally tells you a whole lot of nothing about the a-hole behind the name.  

If it wasn't clear by now, I'm long winded.  Succinct is not in my exhaustive list of charming qualities so pack a lunch. Browsing that list you will find sarcasm several times, however.  

I am middle aged (I think 40s is middle aged?) and happy with my decision to not procreate.  I exist somewhere in the midwest, as well as the occasional nightmare, where we pretend we get four seasons but no we don't.  Nobody remembers spring or fall because they're typically just half days.  

I'm not married, at my own insistence.  I pretend it's because I'm smart and not at all because of the stellar example of a healthy relationship my parents have laid out for me.  

SO has two kids. He can be an absolutely frustrating toolbox here and there but by and large he's team us and I didn't even have to beat him into submission.  This crap is hard and neither one of us knows what we're doing.

BM is, in my opinion, emotionally stunted and the epitome of an ex-wife rather than a divorced woman.  Yeah, I'm the kind of person that thinks there's a difference. 

Those two kids.  Boys.  SSs are chronologically hovering the teen years but if you didn't know their ages?  They're basically toddlers.  They're here 50/50 and waffle between age appropriate and BMs stunted shadows.

I raised the child of a sibling from age 2-18 as a single adult. Therein lies my parenting experience.  Oh, I do have critters, though.  Of the canine and equine variety.  And my MIL sucks.  In a mostly covert sort of way.  

I've got a big mouth, a lot of opinions, a slight savior complex, an awful sense of humor.  I am not an only child, one very close sibling and one completely estranged.  I've traveled extensively, I've held both white and blue collar jobs.  I've been an activist and an advocate and a volunteer.  I've been in an abusive relationship.  I am non-practicing of any particular religion.  I've had some unexpected experiences medically and professionally but not at the same time.  Life likes to stagger my surprises.  I am damaged and I'm sure done my fair share of damaging.  I can be blunt.  Some people think I'm a jerk.  They wouldn't be wrong.  Some people think Im kind.  They wouldn't be wrong, either.

I swear a lot.  It's bad, I know.  Makes me sound ignorant and trashy.  Maybe I am but it happens regardless.  And for any grammar police I am oh so terribly sorry.  I have a habit of typing more or less in a stream of consciousness so... oops.  I will admit confrontation can be a sport in certain circumstances.  I swear I don't exercise those demons here.

The entire hot mess above impacts the crap I post.  Sometimes its helpful.  Sometimes it turns out like this shit show.  I'm not ever intentionally out to be anything, really.

I post simply because somewhere in my pea brain I can relate.  Camaraderie or some shit. 

Having said all of that, if you made it this far:

To those of you new, welcome!

To those of you previously exposed to my drivel, sincerest apologies and thanks for having me.  You've been a great sounding board, challenge and support (mod included).

I am happy (conflicted? ha!) to be here - its the greatest club I never wanted to join!