Drunk SS update

Today I am angry.

BM called SS on DH's phone to check up on him. She told him to "be strong" while he was grounded from his phone and not to worry his sister was going to keep his snapchat streak up --- I was shaking after I heard that. I am livid. Be strong? Don't you worry about social media??? Is this how she parents?? No wonder he thought he could steal booze from cops and get away with it.

I asked DH when do I get to ask him why he lied and court and said that he has a problem with alcohol because OBVIOUSLY his only problem is that he can't hold his liquor.

DH is at a loss. We emailed the lawyer. If we had him more and had more power things would be different. BELIEVE ME things would be different. Right now, I don't know what to do. According to BM he just needs to stay strong while we take his phone and she will make it all better little scmoopy. I hate this bitch.

I dont know what to do but my jaw and teeth hurt from clenching.

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Two words -

Tw words - HAIR TEST. That will be the only way to know if this is recent or long term. Because you know damned well BM is going to claim this is a one-time thing because of how unhappy he is to be with you and that is a load of crap. Just take it out of his brush.

I have 2 urine tests coming

I have 2 urine tests coming tomorrow. A 14 panel drug screen and a tobacco/nicotine. The drug store didn't have the tobacco/nicotine one so I overnighter them. God, I love Amazon.

That is awesome.

That is awesome. But my concern is that urine only shows what is in his system now. Hair shows what he has ingested in the past. Hair grows at the rate of 1/2 inch per month so the accepted "go back" is 90 days. I would march his butt into the nearest urgent care with a drug testing capability - your atty can help you find one - so that you are covered if BM trys to say this is a new thing that is your fault. If you can't get him to comply then use his brush but grab the hair first before tipping him off so that he doesn't flush it!

I will bring this up with DH.

Yes I learned this in

Yes I learned this in Cosmetology school and when my DH became a truck driver last year. They need about an inch and half of hair , cut in a section at the scalp about the size of dime. Feel free to get that sample when's he is sleeping.

Confirmed!

PaSinator BM lets SD run wild. She's disgusting.

"I'm confused SS, how is it again that WE have a problem with alcohol?"

Yea, the whole "he doesn't

Yea, the whole "he doesn't feel comfortable around alcohol" thing would really be pissimg me off at this point.

IT REALLY DOES!!!

It isn't that I cant go dry for a month, I am not an alcoholic. HOWEVER being held hostage in my own home and cleaning up after a drunk SS is just more than I want to deal with. I am livid.

(All I did was throw clothes in the washer, my husband is a good man and dealt with the rest. I was in bed.-- but even that at this point boils my blood)

I felt similar

on a smaller basis when the housesHitter shit all over my house on purpose when he didn't get his way.

OH MY GOD

I didn't know where that nickname came from. OH MY GOD. I feel like I would rub his nose in it like a damn dog! (Even though that is old school and you aren't supposed to- I would make an exception to the rule)

But your DH allowed his

But your DH allowed his underage son to go spend the night at a 21 year old girls house...what did he really think was going to happen? I agree BM is an issue but your DH didn't show any good judgement himself allowing this scenario to occur.

Surprisingly enough, this

Surprisingly enough, this didn't happen there. It happened at the mother's house. The 21 yr old didn't have any alcohol at her house. They went over to the mom's house (who used to be a friend of DH and BM when they were married) for the cookout where this happened.

The fact still remains your

The fact still remains your DH knew this was a possibility, even contacted BM to convey that and allowed him to go. So yes prostrate BM, but your DH is still a part of this scenario.

Ah..shades of SS

hair test and make sure to ask for the full panel. That is how we found out SS was still using...even though Beaver...swear on her bible that SS was CLEEEEAAAANNN. Even her attorney swore SS was clean...the judge ordered SS to take a full panel piss/hair test. Imagine that he was found with long term weed use and weed use in the last 48 hours.

SMH.....

I'm not surprised BM is

I'm not surprised BM is rescuing him from consequences, why are you surprised? Did you guys honestly think she would support them? She will make this all DH's fault, with SS and with the courts.

Ugh, I do have to agree that DH should not have let him go to a friend's house for the night, but what's done is done. I'd decide if you guys want to fight the inevitable petition that BM is going to file to stop visitation.

This PAS stuff just saps your will to live. DH can't really be a parent anymore, not in the way he wants to be. You should be able to make this a learning experience for SS, but all he will learn is that DH is the big meanie his mother always said he was.

I have to agree.

If she does file something, it may be the end. I do have SS on camera being pretty candid about drinking back home though. And since "parental control" was such a hot button issue with the judge, part of me is curious as to what he would think of that conversation.

However- I dont want full custody. I don't even want him here now. The only thing I want is her to be guilty of contempt and have to pay us back.

Right. Even if you did get

Right. Even if you did get full custody, she would continue her PAS campaign via phone, and he would refuse to return from every visit, necessitating more court, blah blah. And the minute he turned 18, he'd run to BM's home.

Alienation deeply damages kids, I'm not surprised he's dabbling in drugs and alcohol. Any way to escape - it may seem "better" that my SS uses only games to escape, but it's still an addiction, and it's still a result of having a crappy, psychologically abusive mother.

Are you sure it's really true

Are you sure it's really true that BM buys 15-year old SS beer? SS is known to lie. He told BM that you guys are drunks and she believed him and now you believe what he says about her. He possibly plays mom and dad against each other to avoid consequences for his own behaviors

It's legal in my state to buy

It's legal in my state to buy alcohol for your own minor kids, so even if she is doing it, it may not be an issue (depending on how much and how often). Or, as you say, it may not be true. My SS lied to us about BM like he lied to her about DH.

It is legal here to buy your

It is legal here to buy your legal minor children alcohol as long as it is consumed in your legal residence.

Also, he told us this while he was 3 sheets to the wind. He denied it sober. In my experience drunks will tell the truth.

We still don't know what, if anything, we will do with this information.

Ahhhhh, yes,,,,STAY STRONG..

Ahhhhh, yes,,,,STAY STRONG...lol, We have heard that before too. Here are a few more we heard over the years OR read it in her own hand writting.

TRY to have a nice day, TRYYY to have a good week, You will be HOME soon. Dont WORRY about a thing.

One of a few allll time favorites were: I listened to your message over and over and over again day dreaming about you being here with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ( I will leave out the rest of what she wrote--puke worthy).

Justmakingthebest..I know this is awful. Again I am so sorry.

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