sperm donor my child = no child support
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I don't want my SO to have to pay child support if W.. have an ours , I'm not getting married again so that's not an option. I said can I get a sperm donor ?? He insists on wanting a child with me, I have no kids , DSS is 8 !!! He already pays $600.00 a month and if COVID-19 ever happens again; I would need public aid or unemployment and SO is already in the system... I don't know why he is dead set on being my sperm donor ... I already know that because he pays it , he will pay it for OURS!!! It's mighty funny he's obsessed with this as I know when he had his check garnished TWICE : he will put me in the bitter baby mama club. We already have agreed on living together apart ..
Typo
When he HAS his check garnished TWICE he will hate me , he's 30 BTW: I'm 27
It sounds like you don't see
It sounds like you don't see this relationship lasting. If you want an anonymous sperm donor, why not end the relationship and become a single parent?
I'm confused. But my guess is
I'm confused. But my guess is that he wants a child with you to keep you around.
Well first of all, if you don
Well first of all, if you don't want him to pay CS, decline it. There is no law forcing a parent to accept CS.
Is it really that you don't want him to be the father? That if you break up, you don't want to have any connection to him at all?
It sounds like you just need to leave this relationship. I am not sure why you don't want to get remarried. Whatever your past relationship trauma was/is, it sounds like you are taking it out on your SO.
I know that DH and I both said that the first 1.5 years we were together. That we would just be happy shacking up. But things changed. He was my world and I wanted to be his wife, he wanted to be my husband. We wanted to stand before God and our family and become a union.
If she ever needs assistance
If she ever needs assistance (food stamps, medicaid), she won't have any option but to accept child support. The state will go after him automatically. If she doesn't cooperate, they will deny benefits. I think that is what she means.
Ahhh... well... then she
Ahhh... well... then she could always cut a check right back to him? I don't know, I am just not a fan of getting knocked up for the sake of having a kid and not wanting a child to have 2 parents.
I am not sure what exactly
I am not sure what exactly the issue is here.
Do you want to continue to be in a relationship with this man?
Do you want to have a child without him paying you any support?
Honestly, when a man creates a child.. he is obligated to support that child.. (along with mom of child.. 50//50) Child support isn't for the mother.. it is for the child. If he fathers a child with you.. you should accept the support for the sake of your child. If you don't want to spend it.. put it in savings for the child later in life.
If you just want to have a child with no permanent strings to a father.. then go the sperm donation route. But, you understand that doing this probably means your SO will have issues
Again, it's not clear what you are trying to accomplish..long term relationship without living together.. but joint child?
And you are with this odd man
And you are with this odd man why exactly?
If you do not want to spawn with him while fulfilling your BioClock urges and want a spermdonor and to stay with him, even if it is apart, what are you thinking?
If he is not worthy to father your child he is not worthy of being your partner, just as importantly, you are not worthy of carrying his child or being his partner.
Move on, do not torture this guy for the rest of his life by breeding with him and more importantly, polluting his life and the life of his children with your presence and screwy life perspective.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.