This can not be how marriage should be...

Hi everyone, I am in need of some advice/ perspective on this.
I have been isolating at my cabin with my 4 year old and baby since the start of covid19. We (my 2 kids and I) came home this week for my husbands sons birthday which is today. So yesterday, my husband told me 10 minutes for he was leaving that he had to go to the store to get last minute things for his golf trip that he's leaving for tomorrow for 4 days (he's never take covid seriously) so he left and after shopping he was going to his golf league so he left the house for 6 hours yesterday. I have my 2, his 2 (10 and 12) and mil with dementia down stairs. He prepared nothing for dinner or anything at all. So like usual I take care of everything. I do everything in this house, shop, cook, clean laundry. Even from our cabin I've done the food orders and everything I could from there. I made a frozen pizza and his 2 were in their rooms in their devices since the afternoon. So I yell up to them, dinner is ready, you can eat in your room as long as you put your dishes in the dishwasher after. I hear "ok!" And I put the dishes on the stairs leading up to their room. Meanwhile my baby was in the high chair having dinner and my 4 year old was eating.
husband comes home at 8pm. Apparently one of them said " she served us dinner on the stairs" he comes in as I'm putting my baby to sleep and says "do me a favor (which I hate because that's all I do for this Idiot) don't feed my kids off the floor like they're dogs" he says I treat them like shit and carries on. Waking our baby. Upsetting our 4 year old.
I snapped back saying then don't ever leave them here with me again. If someone watched my kids and fed them and allowed me to be free for 6 hours I'd be so appreciative.
he thought I was going to leave my baby to go have a "meeting" with him and his two. I refused because we've done that so many times and gets no where.
he has a drinking problem. He's stopped for a while but is starting again. I don't want to put my kids through that OR through a divorce. I don't know what to do. I see how he raised his 2. They lie, cheat, manipulate. He ignores them. It's just not good. I wish I could go back to our cabin and never hear from him again.
min a sahm, I gave up work when I was pregnant with my first. Has anyone been here before? I need some advice. I want to be out of this- if we divorced I would t trust him with my two. I wouldn't want 50% custody like he has with his other 2. I would want sole custody and to stay in our cabin. He says he wouldn't allow me to move their with them. It's an hour and 20 mins away. One state over.
I'm drained.

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Also, the other day he had

Also, the other day he had his daughter sitting on his center console facing the back of his truck because he couldn't fit her in the seats. Drove 25 mins. But I treat them like dogs.

Unfortunately, he can stop

Unfortunately, he can stop you from moving out of state, even if it is 20 mins away.

Right now, if you don't have a degree or certificate, focus on that. If you do, start looking for a job. It is a huge misconception that businesses aren't hiring. You #1 priority is going to be getting yourself in a place where you can financially handle being on your own.

Do you have family nearby that you could stay with if you needed for a little while?

Thanks

I'm a nurse which I dread going back to since this pandemic and having such young children. I'll probably go back in a year from now. I have some money aside and family nearby.
the only thing holding me here is that I don't want to put my kids through divorce and through being raised by him alone even some of the time because of what I've witnessed from him. Drinking and driving with his other 2 for example. Screaming at them..not listening. It's just awful. And I see the result of his parenting in them.
I guess I'm waiting for a miracle, like him to decide to move away and leave. I'd rather suffer than see my kids suffer.
I didn't know, for sure, that he could stop me from moving out of state. Thanks for letting me know. I was thinking maybe there would be an exception because it is our second home that we already own. Wishful thinking.

He can't stop you from moving

He can't stop you from moving out of state. What he can do is ask a court to award him majority custody time with your kids because you are moving or have moved out of state. Talk to a lawyer now, while you are still married so that you can get their opinion on what your options are. Much better to get the facts from someone in your juristiction as the leanings of judges can vary.

As it is for now, you have been living in a different state with his kids at the cabin, and he has yet to try to get a court order to prevent it. I don't know how long you would have to live there for residency to start to apply but if you can get to that length of time then a lawyer might be able to argue that your husband agreed to the kids staying there during your marriage so he can't object after your marriage. Again, talk to a lawyer to get facts for the states in question.