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Holiday weekend and the following couple of days have been a mixed bag.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 05/27/2020 - 8:02pm

The weekend actually went well.  A very good friend of ours from our Expat years joined us for Memorial Day.  She moved in with us with the intent of remaining while she went through a week of testing and specialist examinations at MD Anderson.   Her fleet of Docs fear that she has Leukemia.  

I drove her to the medical center and dropped her off on Tuesday AM.  They are not allowing anyone to accompany the patient due to the Corona virus crisis.  She called 6 hours later for me to pick her up.  Great news.  Its not Leukemia.  So we had a nice evening visiting, laughing, eating great food and polishing off a couple of bottles of nice wine.

Mid day while I was running errands while our friend was going through her testing, etc... DW called.  BIL2 called her in tears.  He was at a genetic testing lab picking up a paternity test for his 2yo daughter.  Over the weekend he found his wife's home open with a number of Sexts.  When he confronted her on it it came out that she has been dating this guy since before she and BIL2 were married.

He is all over the map right now.  In one breath he is divorcing her and in the next he loves her and wants to save the marriage.  He is planning on getting an attorney immediately and knows a killer divorce attorney who specializes in gaining custody for dads and destroying toxic XWs.

After speaking with her brother my DW called our SpermLand attorney to get some guidance on what BIL2's options are.  DW and BIL2 are scheduled to talk this evening.  He and his whore of a wife are not staying together in their apartment and are alternating nights with their daughter.  On their off night they are each staying with their own parent(s).

With the fortunate exception of avoiding polluting my gene pool with my cavern crotched adulterous skank whore of an XW I have been through what he is experiencing.  I do not envy him the pain and emotional turmoil he is suffering and will have to work through.

I advised him to not make any decisions right away but to immediately start building his case and strategy to get his daughter and destroy his XW if that is the direction he chooses to go in and to immediately engage an attorney to advise him on the whole process.

Our attorney indicated that he can sever paternity of  the 2yo if it turns out that she is not  his BK but also that since he and BM were married when she was born and he is on the birth certificate that he is her legal father and those rights cannot be severed unless he chooses to severe them even it turns out he is not the BioDad.

I swear the water in that place makes out of wedlock spawning, cheat babies, crazy adulterous bullshit and any number of other characterless bullshit behaviors far more common than anywhere else on the planet I have experienced.

smh. 

 

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Wed, 05/27/2020 - 8:59pm

It sounds like you ate on the roller voaster of life with your mom, BIL and friend.  Stsy strong and best wishes to all.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 1:47pm

Thanks so much.

We will figure it all out.

For the better I hope.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 8:17am

My heart breaks for your BIL. 

I am glad to hear that he is leaving his wife and has a good attorney and strong family. His wife would have always cheated if he stayed. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 1:27pm

I truly hope that he makes and sticks with the decision to divorce her and to dedicate himself to living well and protecting his daughter from the toxic womb donor.  Hopefully, the paternity test proves BIL2 is our nieces BioDad.

He is proud, very naive, and the odds are no better than 50/50 that he will have the confidence and values himself enough to endi it.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 12:50pm

That WAS a total mixed bag...

Glad that BIL has you to give "brotehrly" advice to him. There is an awesome support site (if he is open to support sites...) called chumplady.com

I enjoy the humor she brings to the tragedy. And always the advice is to lawyer up IMMEDIATELY, and furthermore, take consultations with other lawyers to prevent the ex from having a good lawyer as well.

Also as important is to get the financial ducks in a row. Hes probably so devastated hes not thinking clearly, but he needs to get all the financial paper work copied and stored somewhere else (moms house), and if there are family heirlooms, stash those too. Anything that is not marital property. Also, if this is his house, get advice on where to stay. Its best to get out of co-habitating immediately. And document EVERYTHING. Some states have cause. I am in no fault state. So, hopefully he saved the texts. So he wont have to pay alimony.

IF he can get full custody, great, but where I am they are all pro-BM, as you read here, and more than likely he will get 50/50. So child support. Of course depending on his/her income. So, you can also intrduce him to concepts such as Our Family Wizard, and Custody Orders (hello, morality clause! No affair partners when kids are there...) 

Not fun. But gad your friend does not have cancer!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 05/28/2020 - 1:39pm

Fortunately they rent.  He lost his home to forclusure a number of years ago and purchasing another is not likely. Ever.  He does not make the best choices when it comes to finances of his employment.  He is about a year from retiring from the National Guard which will give him retirement income and health benefits but he will not be able to draw pay or take his benefits until he reaches retirement age.

He and his hopefully STBXW are both low income workers though her job provides benefits for all three of them.  

He has captured and saved volumes of texts, call records, and emails between her and her cheat partner.  That should be helpful should he choose to proceed with divorce.

They have a ton of medical bills that he has the perfect opportunity to purge half of them from his side of the balance sheet if he chooses to end it.

Based on my own experiences in a marriage to a serial adulteror and ending that marriage I cannot see any viable option other than  for him to end it.  I cringe at the hellish future he will have if he doesn't.

And... it is great news that our dear friend does not have Leukemia.  Though she is no closer to understanding what she does have.

Life..... can't live with it.... or I suppose it is more accurate to say that we can't live without it difficult or not.