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Petty, but who do you bet is using my account?

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 3:45pm

Unfortunately we are back to the damned video streaming account that is mine, that I pay for, that I had hidden from people until I got weak and showed DH one weekend a few years ago, which he then showed the kids, who then binge watched just about everything. So I put it on a personal device and changed the password. I told DS since it was a shared mom-son thing since we like to watch and discuss shows (like DH has father-son things with the skids). DH got bent out of shape when he somehow found out DS had it and wanted it for the skids. But the way he did it was to corner me, literally corner me, with each skid present to ask if they could be on the account--but after yo-yoing around with whether I should be part of parenting them or not and me stepping out of it. So now I'm cornered and give a non-commital answer because I don't know if he's baiting me this way to make me give it to the skids or if he's trying to make me the bad guy because he doesn't want them to have it. Turns out it was the former.

Fine the skids have access. I told everyone they are not to give out the information.

Now we are up to this past weekend. DH comes to me: can YSS put the app and log in on is iPad? I told DH that that kid did that half a year ago without asking. Why ask now. DH said he didn't know and walked away.

An hour later I know. YSS must know that I get a notice when a new device logs in. What he obviously doesn't realize is it detects the type of device. The kid logged in on someones other streaming pod thing. And where is this kid right now? At BMs. Um, no, I did not agree that anyone even remotely knows me can use it. I told DH he'd better tell YSS, have him get off it, and I will check. If he's not out I will log everyone out and change the password once again.

This is so petty but it's just another boundary that DH and the skids like to run over.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 3:52pm

Yeah, I never gave SS my password. He could watch it here where it would automatically log in (he wasn't the type to go find the password in the master passwords, even if he knew how).

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 4:10pm

Rule in our house is whoever pays the bills picks the password and can change it at anytime.  But I get it in step situations the children make the rules and the adults are just there to serve their every whim.  It's sucks but maybe delete the account and don't pick it back up until the little darlings are old enough to pay for their own.

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:11pm

I would've done the same. I don't like sharing with my skids.. because they have loyalty to their mom and even though it's understandable it's not my job or our job for them to have extra ammenaties at their moms. I'm not sorry! Lol so don't be so hard on yourself! I would've done the exact same thing 

Livingoutloud's picture

Submitted by Livingoutloud on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:33pm

Streaming is cheap. Why can't get his own account and share with skids? Is it Hulu or Netflix or Disney plus or what? None are expensive 

we have mutual accounts and we share our accounts with SD and one account whth DD. We don't really care. We are married. And we don't have the animosity like you guys do. In your case DH could create an account and share with skids. He doesn't need your account  

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:45pm

You’re not being petty. It’s your account - one you pay for.

I suggest you save yourself the time and just go straight to logging everyone out and changing the password. 

If there’s an option that they can watch it on a communal television in your home, have them do that.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:47pm

I don't think you are petty. It's you account you pay for it. It's not for anyone else (DS, DH, or skid) to hand out passwords. Is your password saved and now usable on that device by whoever owns it?

You were much nicer than I would have been. I would have immediately changed the password. When asked I would have said I thought my account had been hacked.

I never give out passwords. When the grandskids were here, and wanted to use our Wi-Fi, I had them give me the device so that I could input the password. 

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:50pm

Also, a handful of years ago I happened to notice a TON of stuff added to our “list” on Netflix. I asked DH about it and he said that he had given our password to his parents to access our account.

It was a bunch of low grade feelgood Hallmark-like Christian movies that my FIL had added. I deleted all the movies and informed DH he was to change the password ASAP. Haha.

Focused_onourlife's picture

Submitted by Focused_onourlife on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:50pm

You're not being petty. I think if you had a better relationship with your SC and your DH was more supportive, this would not be an issue. I would start telling your DH NO to the password and end the conversation.  No is a complete sentence. He can get his own streaming account and give his kids the password. They are very cheap.

Kona_California's picture

Submitted by Kona_California on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 6:19pm

At first glace I can see how someome might think this is petty. But after experiencing a skid taking my Nintendo Switch without asking and BF telling me to just let him play with it all damn day..... I feel you. It isn't about the thing, it's about entitlement and respecting boundaries. 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 1:29am

You're not being in the slightest petty.  Cornering you with the SKIDs to get you to agree with something you're not happy about?  This is what I would object to - not really the streaming thing so much.  I just got a basic Netflix account for me and DH and it costs £5.99 per month ($7).  I would change the password and tell DH if he wants to have his kids and the whole of BM's household on it - then get his own account. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 6:51am

I totally get this. While it is "petty"- BM get's enough of our money. She doesn't get to have other things that I pay for too! It's like the sprinkles on a sh*t sundae! There is so much more underneath it all- this is just a stupid thing but something that YOU can control. Someplace YOU have power to stop the constant take-take-take.

I say change the password. Screw it. You can change the password weekly if they want to play this game, or your DH can set up his own account for basically BM. Whatever. 

 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 6:58am

To me, this was something SS used while in OUR home, like watching our TV or using the computer he had here. It wasn't a thing he could take back and forth, why would it be? BM could, and did, get her own account and he used that one at her house. Why would I be paying for something that he uses at his mother's house?

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 9:04am

DBDB had her cable turned off a few years ago to save money as her chiropractor husband told her to do.  Come to find out they were using my Netflix account to watch everything.  SSthen12 gave them the password.  

Yes I changed the password and to this day noone has it but me.  Not petty!  Why the hell should I pay to have her household use my account??

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 9:38am

It's that simple idea.... responsibility without authority.  If you pay for it, or are in charge of something, and you don't get to have a say in how it's used or what it's used for, there you go.

I didn't mind OSD using my account. She had her own profile to use and she didn't abuse it (other than staying awake all night to watch but that was on DH). She mostly used it at our home, or if she visited her cousin. However, after it was clear she was nit coming back to our home, DH agreed with me that her profile was deleted and the password changed.