Are International Custody Agreements Possible?
Hi there,
I know this is a weird thing to ask, I am just curious about the odds of us winning or getting through. My husband and I are non-US citizens and are also non-US residents. However, my husband went to college in the US and got a girlfriend pregnant, who is a US citizen. The mother and child are US citizens and live in the US. My husband upon graduation left the US hence he does not live in the US. My husband has been visiting his child mostly on the mother's terms; which is he travels every 3-6 months to visit the child for a week or so. Which is expensive and my husband has to come off work every time he visits. (plus we need visas and other stuff as a condition to travel to the US) We would love to bring his son down to the island sometime. We have every intension to send him back to the US; which is a concern the mother has.
I guess the issue here is mostly now that my husband and I are married and expecting our first child we really can not afford to pay for all of us to go on these trips very often and it will be cheaper to just bring the son alone. We have brought this issue up with the child's mother and we have gotten nowhere. The child also missed our wedding, which we were planning on him attending too. We also want him to have a relationship with the new baby. By the way the child is 9 going on 10 so I don't think he is too young to fly.
The mother also has the tendancy to withold planned FaceTime calls and moniters these calls. She also has ended some calls. We have to communicate to the child through the mother which is problematic as she sometimes makes us go through hoops to get into contact with the child.
We are thinking about talking to a lawyer properly about this but it is kind of costly and we have to pay in USD so I was just wondering what are the chances of us actually succeeding. I saw that you all have a family court section, so have anyone had international custody agreements?
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An initial consultation with
An initial consultation with a lawyer in the BM's state will cost about $200 and some lawyers may do it for free. It will be worth it to get some answers you can trust from someone with knowledge of the laws and prevailing practices of the local courts.
My Sd has been flying on her own since she was 7 but that is on a direct domestic flight in the USA and her mother agreed to it. I think that individual airlines have their own age minimums for unacompanied minors that might be worth consulting. Ovbiously a court can make their own rulings if they think an airlines minimum age is too young.
Thanks for your reply! I have
Thanks for your reply! I have actually tried googling, however I haven't seen anything about international travel. My husband has been thinking of asking a friend from college to contact a lawyer on his behalf because we aren't really sure how to go about this.
I think the concern here is that it’s requesting to cross
International borders, alot of countries both parents must agree to the child leaving the country, in this case the mum doesn’t feel comfortable.
then you have the issue of what international agreements are in place if as the bio mum is assuming the bio dad can refuse to send the kid back. Courts will look into all of this and may likely say as kid is a minor and usa is only normal place of residence, then taking child out of country for visits is not allowed.
In australia when a child gets a passport both parents sign it that they give authority to other bio parent to take kid out of the country if a minor. If 1 parent forges a signature its a federal crime.
whether bio mum is high conflict or not, she isn’t ok with taking kid out of the country. All it takes is for a massive argument to happen and your husband refuses to send kid back, you can say you have all intentions to return the kid but its natural for any parent to have someone take their kid out of the country that they no longer trust which in divorces or separations can be the case
We have offered the mother
Thanks for the reply! We have offered the mother having a signed contract that we will return the child. All we wish for is a month during the summer holidays. This way he can get to know us and we can get to know him properly.
We do understand the complications of international custody when it comes to issues that have occured in the past for some. However, I can say for certain we have every intension to send him back. My husband and I both agree that he will have better opportunities in the US than where we are.
I just do not think it is in the child's best interest to lose contact with his father. Which can very well happen if we don't have an agreement. As it stands now over a year will pass until the next time my husband sees his son. Coupled with the fact that the mother is unreliable in ensuring contact with the child. As it stands my husband hasn't spoken to his child in almost 2 months. Which in itself is quite concerning as they live in a cornavirus hotspot and the mother is a Respiratory therapist.
There is also a whole extended family that will love to see (some have met him others have not) him as well. I personally have not met him in person as I didn't have a US visa to travel. I think it is in the child's best interest to have a relationship with his fathers family and culture as well as his mothers.
You can likely get such an
You can likely get such an order, but if BM doesn't send the kid, enforcement will be very difficult. DH would have to fly to the US to go to court to file contempt petitions.
Thanks for your reply! Have
Thanks for your reply! Have you had any personal experience with this? I am aware that we may have a lot of back and forth travelling to get the intial order. However I didn't really think about the enforcement aspect; which can be a further expense. What are the penalties to non-compliance of custody agreements in the US.
As well as, is self representation on custody a thing in the US or do need a lawyer (both intially and with compliance issues)? Where I am from lawyers are not a thing (except for exceptional circumstances or people who have a lot of extra cash) for a custody dispute, it is just both parents arguing their case before a magistrate.
I don't have international
I don't have international custody experience - but I have a lot here. There is usually very little penalty for non-compliance, and if you do get one , it's after repeated court appearances and repeated violations of the order.
You can go to court without an attorney, but it would take a fair amount of research and preparation of all the proper forms, etc. Most are online (at least here), but they don't make it easy for you.
I have a lot of free time
I have a lot of free time coming up as I am a school counselor and I am currently off work possibly for the rest of the year between, coronavirus, summer holodays and upcoming maternity leave. So I can do some of the research and such to keep cost down. But at the same time a lawyer may be especially good since we are unaware of the American system as it pertains to these matters.
I am starting to wonder if visiting the child in the US may actually be cheaper than this whole process. But thanks for replying again!