Obient children and confident parents and adults.
5 minutes of parenting brilliance.
Give it a watch. It wraps up my parenting philosophy in a very effective 5 minutes.
Kids are not the equal of adults and for damned sure not the equal of parents. And they should not be treated as equals. They are to be loved, cared for, raised effectively and should have no choice but to be obedient. It is on the adult to establish and enforce this absolute fact.
IMHO of course.
Enjoy.
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Prager has some good stuff.
Prager has some good stuff. Usually substantiated by tons of experience and history. But... I am not always a fan of their stuff. Some of it can be a bit overbearing.
As for parenting.... the entire course of human history has proven that raising kids to be obedient and polite returns the best results for all involved and has the best record of creating viable high performing adults. The esteem parenting movement has created a shit storm of snowflake useless semi adults who sadly are breeding yet worse versions of their pathetic selves.
Oh for the days when the Principle and the Coach roamed the halls of schools with paddles on their shoulder and teachers had a paddle hanging from their desk in the class room. All of society should miss the times when a call to a parent from school was the most dreaded thing a kid could experience rather than the toxic breeders of today who run screaming to school to assault a teacher who give their precious little snow flake the bad grade that the little turd earned..
I fear for our planet as these non-adults take the reins of leadership.
Whoop whoop....
Whoop whoop....
In my family everyone grows
In my family everyone grows up to be a productive well adjusted upstanding citizen and no one carries around paddles or think that kids need to be obedient like dogs. There is more to parenting than these backwards methods.
And prageru? Really? Such backwards 1800s thinking.
you seem to have a lot of anger in you. Your posts are always so angry. You got to calm down a bit or you'll get high blood pressure or heart problems. Chill
No one said anything about
No one said anything about treating children like dogs. I've never thought of children as dogs nor have I ever treated one as a dog.
Obedience and politeness in a child is nothing bad.
Oh my
i agree with LOL's comments. I didn't raise robots I raised children to think critically, question if they did not understand or felt uncomfortable. Raising unquestionably obedient children, the way most of us boomers were raised, resulted in those u refer to as "toxic breeders", a term so very offensive on so many levels, yet not surprising in a post from Rags. So not a ringing endorsement of the method in the video And talk to any adult who attended Catholic school in the 50's or 60's and ask their POV on physical punishment--I am betting the majority would say that it only served to make them angry or resentful. Raising kids to fear authority so that they follow it unquestionably has had disastrous results thru history. Unflinching allegiance to authority is the foundation of authoritarian governments.
Finally and I say this from my own personal experience --requiring obedience from children makes them targets for abuse. Obedient children, taught not to question, and physically disciplined, are too afraid to challenge the adult who molest them.
Excellent, just excellent
Excellent, just excellent post.
Interesting.
Interesting.
In my experience the most polite and obedient kids are the highest performers, the most inquisitive and confident. They are also the strongest leaders, and more regularly perform optimally as adults. They apply intellect to problem resolution rather than feelings and emotion. They also have the better parents who are also comparably successful.
Lippy disrespectful ill behaved malcontents rarely have any significant level of succes and collapse under the pressure of the crucible of competition in the real world and interestingly they invariably have shitty parents who spend more time defending their ill behaved progeny than they do parenting effectively. These kids and their failed parents address life and problems with emotion and feelings rather than intellect.
I think this is good
I think this is good information for basic things like, "Please unload the dishwasher." Sure, you can explain once or twice that it's for the good of the household, but after that, cowtowing to the kid and pretty much begging the kid to 'maybe you could" or "do you think you might want to..." or "looks like the dishwasher needs to be emptied.." instead of just freaking saying, "Please empty the diswasher as I asked, we've been over this, do it now." drives me INSANE. I literally have to leave the room when the parental begging starts.
And it's worse now that we are all here. I've just been letting his and her cr*p pile up all over again. Usually I'll help out with his if he's busy with work, but when BOTH of us are busy and you've got a 14 yo at home doing NOTHING? Nope, not helping.
I do agree with some posters that more complex situations need more explanation, esp. as they get older. They need ot see the reasoning. But again, stooping to begging is not the way.
Ha, ha, my mom had this problem with me
Instead of "Set the table for dinner" my mom would say "Why don't you set the table for dinner."
And I invariably would response "Well, several reasons."
I still did it. I'm not sure why she used that sentence construct as my parents were not coddlers and were pretty strict. And I really hated when DH would practically beg the skids to do things, sometimes bribe them, for crap like helping set a table.
Discussion and understanding
Discussion and developing understanding are different than disobedience and misbehavior.
Since we're sharing, my new favorite PSA on COVID
If you don't like the f-word, don't watch this. But I think it's brilliant. A bit much for some but it gets the point across.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2wl23AjaxE
Bravo!
Bravo!
Sadly I have a couple of HS classmates who are all up in arms about how they're not sick and they should not have to socially distance and that this is all an attempt by "them" to take control of people, blah, blah, blah.
Sadly a pandemic won't just kill idiots, shitty kids and crappy parents. The good ones can get sick too.
Unfortunately.
smh
Um...I agree with part of
Um...I agree with part of this. Phrasing things to not be questions/options for example. But never explaining anything? Not allowing it to turn into a huge debate every time sure (I think parents can tell the difference between when kids are genuinely asking and if they're trying to get out of something) , but providing the "why" is part of parenting too - guidance for kids to learn how to make good decisions on their own eventually.
I found
that telling DS the "why" of something was effective in getting him to change his behavior faster than just telling him to do/not to do something.
"Why" certainly has its place
"Why" certainly has its place in parenting and dealing with kids. In a controlled and focused application to address specific situations. Politeness and obedience does not eliminate discussion and development of understanding. I would say that politeness and obedience in kids accelerates their attaining understanding.
Agree completely.
Agree completely. It used to make me crazy when DH would phrase everything as optional and then be surprised when the skids did not do as he asked. He claimed that he did not "like it" when his father told him to do things and had decided as a kid that he would never do that when he became a parent. My pointing out that parenting from the perspective of a child was insane did not go over well.
I also agree that providing reasoning for an older and/or highly intelligent child is important. Talking about how the efforts of all members is important for the functioning of the household and that the unit is stronger than any individual on an age appropriate level creates responsible citizens. But if it turns into an endless debate rather than them just setting the table for the 10th time, the assignment of a research paper on Jeremy Bentham, John Stuart Mills, and the principles of Utilitarianism may be in order!
Hmmmmm? Interesting mix of
Hmmmmm? Interesting mix of perspectives.
Thanks for the discussion folks.