I believe there should be an equall amount of subordinate and equal viewing. kids learn respect by felling subordinate and learn trust in being treated equal. It's a matter of situation. could you possibly find ways in feeling them as equals? if i'm misunderstanding your concern do let me know.

wow I have a very similar situation .....and your point of view just lifted ten tons of weight off my shoulders. still i wonder would you (or I) ? eventually feel guilt for not being equally invested in the Skids??? I will make damn sure of it that I continue my well rounded ways with my well rounded kids but what will the pictures look like in the long run??? Do you have any good times with your skids? or is it mostly just awkward and stressful?

I'm in a similar position. I find that I have fun with sd but only in small amounts and only if we aren't trying to get somewhere, get anything done, have any agenda that differs fromhers, etc... But she's a sweet girl and it's NOT her fault. Her bioparents suck as parents.

I wish I could be of some help but my house hold is somewhat the same dh has zero issues with disipline when it comes to my kids but sd17 gets away with what ever she wants

I feel respect and discipline are in order when it comes to children. I think some biological parents are too oblivious to see how their children are really behaving and what kind of message it sends when children aren't corrected for their bad behavior. My boyfriend's daughter demands anything she wants. She doesn't ask for anything or say please, she tells everybody just what it is she wants and she gets it. When she's not around her father she talks back, shouts at adults and acts completely rotten, all under the care of her grandmother who thinks its all perfectly alright. I think perhaps they think its sort of cute when she throws a fit about not having her way? I honestly believe it stems from the BM who puts very little effort into raising her daughter which clearly shows when she comes around here.