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Low coping kids

Jcksjj's picture

I stumbled across this article and thought maybe some of our DHs need to read it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-automatic/202001/how-are-...

I mean, it seems kind of obvious, but it's still interesting. And sometimes it helps when its stated by a professional.

Comments

Siemprematahari's picture

This part right here is gold!

Where Do Impotent Low Coping Personalities Come From?

Impotent personalities do not arise out of thin air. They are made or shaped as is any child’s personality. But how? We discovered in large part they are emotionally shaped or conditioned by a parent who has the opposite personality, what we call an omnipotent or high-coping personality style.

strugglingSM's picture

This line describes BM: 

"Accordingly, low-copers do not deal well with assuming responsibilities. They do not solve or even manage their own problems or life difficulties in effective ways. They are often in an uproar and become highly anxious when encountering something they need to handle and solve." 

This line describes both SSs: 

"Impotent personalities are arrogant, expedient, and relish dependency on others — protection, constant care, continual accommodation, and freedom from unpleasurable stresses of any description."

That said,  I feel as though I am a high coper raised by a high coper, so I don't think high copers necessarily create low coping children. Maybe high copers with enabling tendencies or anxious high copers (in that they can't wait for others to do things, so they do things on behalf of others) create low copers. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah I was wondering that also. I would think it could go either way. Like if you're a high coper that's self aware and careful not to do too much for the kids they probably will turn out fine. I would think some low copers would probably also turn out kids that go the way opposite and are high copers because they had to take care of the parent or whatever.