As you're right, it's not normal. Teenagers, even tweens may want to spend more time in their rooms or more time with friends, they may not want to go on outings with their parents to the mall or the grocery store, but to go a month without seeing them and not even care at this age, not normal at all.

My DH is also in denial. I see the signs every time they are here, I just don't know when the shoe is going to drop or how. We pickup from school, are they going to stop going to school on the days we're supposed to get them? 

Good article.Alienated kids seem to easily cut out a parent, but they've been manipulated into that position.  Kids whose parents are abusive love the parent and want a relationship, they just don't want to be hurt.  That's one sign of alienation - the unambivalent dislike of a parent is only seen in alienated kids, not abused kids.

I agree with the steps for dealing with the rejection, too - it's what we did and DH was able to move past it and be happy.

And honestly, I thought for sure SS21 would never be back in our lives and yet, he is, so it is important not to believe that what's happening now will go on forever.

Great article very to the point. I sent it to SO it's simple enough for him to understand and highlights the importance of setting boundaries.

I know people who estrange from their parents but it happens in adulthood not as a child. Even then it's usually does not last forever, although sometimes it might. My YSD tried to make up whth her mother but to no avail so she remained estranged from her until her death, she never had issues with dad. OSD periodically estranged from DH while BM was alive. But since BM died, OSD has been consistently in our lives and has been acting semi normal (she is a felon and has same mental issues as Bm, among other things but she's improving since BM is gone )