SD Whispering with Mom-in-law
So I usually try to avoid being near my grown SD but I thought I should try to engage since she is 6 months pregnant. She is pregnant from her new boyfriend and she had asked him to bring her food from inside while we sat outside by the pool. Once he left, she turned around and lowered her voice and was whispering to my mother in law. I thought it was very rude because she was so upset when her step grandmother did that to her and she overheard her talking about her. I told my husband a few days ago after I was more calm. He's not too happy with her since she doesn't treat my husband's grandson the best. Anyhow, I want to show my step daughter that what she did in my house was not right. I actually let her have my icecream at Jason's Deli. She looked at me like she didn't believe I was doing that. Maybe it was her guilty conscious or she was surprised I didn't let her get to me. I feel she wants to get my husband and I to fight because she's not happy.
- SmelltheRoses's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
See what happens when you re
See what happens when you re-engage? You start caring how an adult skid is behaving and start trying to manipulate her by doing the opposite of what you think she expects.
Whispering to her grandmother is not a big deal. Just walk away if it annoys you.
Whispering is rude.
As is talking in another languarge, if there is a language all in the room understand. I agree, leave the room.
Talking in another language
Talking in another language is NOT rude.
In my experience, the people who find that rude tend to butt hurt about the changing demographics of our country.
As I type this I'm sitting in a Dominican hair salon getting my hair dyed. Damn near everyone in here is speaking Spanish. I'm not bothered by it at all.
When I leave here, I'm going to African salon to get my hair braided. Damn near everyone in there will be speaking French. I won't find them rude either.
I'll end the day with a mani and pedi in a Korean salon. I guarantee I won't hear much English spoken in there. I do not care.
There's nothing wrong with people speaking amongst themselves in any language they wish.
Sorry if I was not clear
It is one thing for employees to speak in whatever language their employer says is OK. In a SOCIAL situation, where everyone understands ONE language, it is rude not to use that language.
Depends on the situation.
Depends on the situation. When I'm commuting, or in a store, or wherever, strangers' conversations don't bother me, nor should they.
My dh only speaks English, but can understand some French... I'm French...well bilingual... as are my kids... and sometimes we talk in French. Not to disinclude dh or anything, it just happens... if dh is around, he sometimes feels like we're trying to keep him out of the convo. Not the case, but I can understand his feelings... so when my kids ask me something in French, I answer in English if dh is there so that he knows we're not trying to keep something from him.
I also speak Spanish, though not fluently... pretty decently, though. I've been in a situation where the people I was with sitting around a table with switched over to Spanish, from English, the second this other person left the table to use the restroom... I thought that was rude, because I was still sitting with them, and conversing... and only because we were all sitting together socially.
They were talking about the person who went to the restroom. I guess they didn't know I understood... but they figured it out real quick when the other person came back and I told them it was time for us to go... my friend was confused.. told her that the other two made it clear while she'd been to the bathroom these 2 biotches decided to talk trash and I wasn't up to sticking around.
Cue open mouths... You speak Spanish?! Enough to understand you have no manners... buhbye
But... in the same setting... if we were socially together but in split groups like at a party or wherever, doesn't bother me one bit if groups of individuals are speaking to each other in another language. I'm not part of that conversation. It doesn't involve me. And... people I tend to socially with tend to have enough manners that when someone else joins the group, they switch to an inclusive language.
Depends on the situation.
I get your husband's feeling.
I get your husband's feeling. My first husband's parents were immigrants. They spoke their first language at home when the kids were growing up. All of the children married first language speakers until me. Everyone spoke English, but would often revert to first language. I understood some first language, think toddler level, and spoke it at that level too. When they reverted to first language I tended to tune out.
Once there was some family drama going on. At a family shower MIL told, in first language, all the sisters and sisters in law present not to give out certain information. Next day I answer the phone, and when asked, profer the information as I thought it was innocuous. MIL calls. First DH answers. MIL wants to know why I have given out the information she said not to.. First DH asks if she told me in English. MIL goes 'oops'.
Answering in English is a good idea. It lets your DH know you are not trying to exclude him.
I suspect you're being
I suspect you're being hypersensitive to the whispering because you're fed up with her. If this is an isolated incident, I really would not overreact. She could have been discussing something private that she did not want someone else to hear or something that was not child appropriate, who knows, really.
Ignore her - she’s baiting
Ignore her - she’s baiting you to see if she can ruffle your feathers.
If your SD isn’t mature enough to comprehend that whispering to someone, while there’s only one or two other people present, is extremely rude and childish, then she doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of being allowed to do it in the first place.
You should have got up and walked off, giving the appearance that you were on a mission for something inside. Or called her out. Something along the lines of that golden rule and not engaging in hush hush schoolyard gossipy behavior.
Thank you!
That is some great insight! I have been trying to avoid sitting next to her but wanted to prove to myself that I can ignore her. Next time I will certainly not be close to her. She seems to be trying to get me mad to make me look like the bad guy and then she pretends she is innocent. Thanks again!