For those without the back story... Mrs. Headlights is a very homely woman (think bully on A Christmas Story) yet she has MASSIVE MAMMARIES that have titmatized the entire male IT staff.   She colours her curly locks bright brick red to bring out her 100% Irishness and she routinely goes on "health walks" with the CIO and the higher echelon of male IT staffers in her Keen brand closed toe sandals (which are the most unattractive shoes on god's green earth btw).  She takes tiny little "step chain" steps to enunciate her physical attributes by the way but I digress.

She was promoted almost a year ago to a position which would be considered "Desktop Support" yet she knows nothing about computers.  She often flirted with the boss and they both conspired to get an older woman, our administrative assistant, who was FANTASTIC shipped off to another dept.   Things have gone downhill ever since culminating in the latest fiasco.  Mrs. Headlights IT qualifications is that she rotated backup tapes which would only require knowing the days of the week.

Some lowlights:

Mrs. Headlights was impressed with the knowledge that uninstalling and reinstalling a program could fix it

Mrs. Headlights deleted 10K worth of equipment from our inventory system because she could not be bothered to locate it

Mrs. Headlights marked several major pieces of equipment as "sent to recycling" in our system even though they are still in use

When doing the inventory, Mrs. Headlights tried to  "delegate" this job to others--something our old admin NEVER did;  this didn't work very well so Mrs. Headlights moaned and complained about having to do this for WEEKS (it took her almost 6 months with a deadline looming).

Mrs. Headlights has a "batting zero" average for correctly assigning trouble tickets--something the boss used to harp about to our former admin who did a great job and maybe misassigned a ticket once in 6 months.   Now the boss assigns the tickets for Mrs. Headlights.

Now for the latest disaster:  Mrs. Headlights is supposed to answer the helpdesk phone.  Which she feels is beneath her as well as all the other admin duties she had to take over when she and the boss got rid of our former admin.   Last Wednesday, calls started coming in about computers being "stuck" doing updates.  

Mrs. Headlights told them to "reboot" and failed to notice the disturbing trend.   She sent one of the other male IT staffers (who is also titmatized) to one of the computers to examine it.   Come to find out there was a major conflict with the April Windows Updates and our antivirus.   We have approx 1K of workstations/laptops and tablets and this would no doubt hit about 95% of all of them.

Fast forward to Thursday at 2:00 a.m. and I'm on call.  I get a desperate call from one of our 24/7 depts that the computers are all stuck.  I drive over there and roll up my sleeves.  End up working a 16 hour day on Thursday which involved training two of my counterparts who are frankly underqualified as well but not to the level of Mrs. Headlights.   Mrs. Headlights complained to me that she took over 90 calls on Thursday (during regular work hours).  She was not required to fix ONE computer.  NOT ONE!

This continued on until Monday.  I also used to manage the windows update server called WSUS but they hired a new person (who is really good, btw) and she forgot to add me as a user so I had no way of checking the server and ROLLING BACK these updates as I normally would have so that was a double whammy.  I had to ask the other male IT staffer (the one who went to look at a computer for Mrs. Headlights) to get into the server and ROLL THEM BACK not just DISALLOW them!!!

So you could say Mrs. Headlight's being ignorant, dangerously unqualified and having ZERO interest in anything computer (everything to tell her goes in one ear and out the other)   was a CATALYST to this entire fiasco AND to make matters work,  one of the so called "computer guys" that doesn't work for IT but works for one of the 24/7 depts wrote in to the CIO and congratulated/thanked the new lady (good), the male IT staffer (good) and MRS. HEADLIGHTS (WHAAATTT???!!!)  for all their hard work!!!  

P.S.  Mrs. Headlights in real life is a GUBM helicopter parent to her only "child" who is 22--still goes to all her doctor appts and has child-like birthday parties for her.

/rant OFF