First Autism, Now Cancer...
Super quick summary: SS 11 moved in with us in June due to severe behavioral issues and made our lives a miserable hell. Broke things, holes in the walls, screaming profanities, all of it. DH has taken him off the cocktail of 6 different meds he was on and that helped with his aggression. He is eligible for medicinal marijuana in our state and has just finished week 2 of that. Even I will admit, it's a huge difference but since it's only been 2 weeks, I'm not sold that his newfound peace and compliance will last, especially since...
I was diagnosed with cancer last week. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Grade 2, Stage TBD. Please bear with me here, I'm not a horrid person at heart, but it's VERY hard for me to detach from the fact that in April, this little bean was considered 'probably benign' and I was to follow up in 6 months. The 6 month checkup was in November and this little bean had almost doubled in size and lit up on the MRI like a Christmas tree. There is evidence supporting the link between stress and cancer growth.
I have all but gotten on my knees and begged my DH to send him back to his mother. My irritation grows every time he gets quiet or says he can't, she won't, insert whatever bullshit of the day here. You guys, have you ever thought to yourself "What did I do to deserve this?" Seriously. I don't want to go through this with him in my house and for god knows what reason, I can't get that through DH's head. Mom's not dead - she's having a party without the responsibilities of her kid. HER. kid.
Some days I feel like I'm going to throw up.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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Comments
Oh no, how scary. I'm sorry.
Oh no, how scary. I'm sorry.
Perhaps you need to get a little place of your own? Not separation or divorce, but just a place where you have peace and quiet.
I'm so sorry to hear this! It
I'm so sorry to hear this! It's stressful enough to deal with something so big, but then to have this skid on top of it, when he could just as easily be with BM... I hope your DH listens and realizes you are going to need his support even more than ever, which means peace from SS.
Sorry to hear about your problem
You are right, you need to not be stressed out all the time. At least Disengage from SS. Let your DH totally take care of SS. If he not home then SS is not home. He has to find morning and afternoon care for SS, untill he home to deal with SS. You do not do anything for SS. No cooking, cleaning, taking anyplace no money given to him. If DH is putting SS first. That his deal
You guys are the best
Thank you so much for just hearing me. Especially in this situation, I feel like I just want to be heard without taking into account anyone else's feelings - not SS's, not DH's, just mine. I really appreciate you all for taking the time to read and respond.
Mystic- sending you virtual
Mystic- sending you virtual hugs and healthy vibes your way. Do whatever it takes to take care of you. Your health comes 1st and is priority.
Mystic the only person in the
Mystic the only person in the world that matters right here, right now IS YOU!!!
Not bm ,not ss, not dh....YOU.
You need peace going into what ever treatment you decide.
That peace may be ss going to live with his mom full time...so bet it.
OR you going back to your family where ever that is.
Im so sorry!
Healing prayers and thoughts and hugs!!!
Sending lots of love, hugs
Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers your way! Please take care of yourself FIRST! Stress can do very bad things and prolonged stress even more. Blended and stepfamilies naturally have a lot higher stress and I worry about this a lot. My mom passed away when she was 44 from lupus and she had only been diagnosed for 3 years. I still believe her high stress level (my sister caused a lot as well as my mom's boss) was the culprit for it becoming so bad.
So I beg you to PLEASE take care of yourself FIRST. YOU can beat this! :)