one to comment because I don't believe in general censorship. I would let said child watch what she wanted (unless it is porn) as long as no one else was forced to watch it. So a device in her own area or a family room. I also let my kids listen to and read what they want. It has worked for 23 years so I don't see it failing now. I wouldn't restrict them to what you find acceptable based on your faith. It isn't their faith. 

Now, given the above I would tell the kids that you will absolutely not force them to attend church, read religious materials, etc and are open to them exploring other faiths as long as they do not debate Christianity in a rude way or make comments about general items in the home. 

I think the skids are testing you and their father on this topic.  It can't be easy to watch mom do what she did and not have some deep confusion about life.  Has anyone considered taking them to talk to a Priest/Pastor about this?  

I can say that when DH got divorced from BM, she used religion as a weapon to alientate the skids.  One of many that she used btw.  

I do think that DH needs to put a boundary of respect for you in place now.   If they don't want to  respect your faith life, then I really don't think they need to celebrate Christmas.  Why encourage them to be hypocrites???  This could be a really good teaching moment for them if DH takes the time to thoughfully consider what needs to be said and done about it.  It could backfire on them this year and one year without a Christmas would not kill them.  It would definetly give them something to think about  Just remember that the adults in your home should be the leaders and rule the house.  Kids don't get a say in making the rules until they pay for everything and live on thier own.  Your house, your rules.  

They can believe what they wish, but this is a life lesson for them to be tolerant of all religions and to have respect for opinions other than their own.

Your DH needs to approach it as being about respect and not about religion. And to show respect for your home and your rules and you as an adult they aren’t allowed to mock you. 

Also if dad is Christian than perhaps it is a good idea if they attend church as well- they have the right to decide what they want as adults but they should be able to have informed choices.

Also, there are lots of churches that do welcome everyone of all sexual orientations.

My experience is religion being forced on others only causes problems. It's best if kids are allowed to choose their own religion and decide for themselves once they get older and become adults. This is coming from someone whose parents tried to force religion on her and I not only rebeled against it but grew to resent my parents for it. There are plenty of ways to teach them tolerance and respect without forcing them to go.

Put goats blood around your door and let her watch what she wants in her room. Spritz holy water on her whenever she gets out of line.  For the record all teenagers are borderline demonic!  

Only when it comes to religion do I see people saying you have no right to set house rules.  Some folks believe children should be allowed to drop the F bomb any time they want.  Others say, only when not being directed AT someone.  And others, never in my presence, but I understand they'll do so when they're older, or when they're out of site.  But most people agree that house rules are house rules, and that children don't get to set them.

Your house rules involve language, and respect.  You and DH are on the same page, so no....the children don't get to decide your rules are "stupid" and ignore them just because they're allowed to take the Lord's name in vain at BMs house or school or where ever.  In your house, that language is not used.  

I also agree that tolerance of religion should be learned at a young age.  You're not asking them to go to church (although DH would not be wrong to raise his children in the way he planned, with an effort to ensure he's teaching love, and not judgment of BM).  But you and DH agree that certain subject matters do not enter your home.  Summoning demons and the like are your line in the sand.  Other parents draw the line at too much foul language, or some nudity.  There is a whole internet full of people who don't allow Disney movies because they don't show strong female characters, or allow goods from certain stores because of their ethical practices toward women or children.  You've made a house rule and when they move out they have the freedom an adult has.  The fact that you believe that watching a movie about summoning demons invites risk to your house, is no more laughable than people who believe that burning herbs cleanses evil from a home.  

For now the children are subject to the rules of the adults in their home.  They don't get to make the rules.  That's how we get so any spoiled CODs.  If they rebel when they're older, they won't be the first teens to find ANY rules made by a parent to be "stupid".

Symptoms of Biblical Adherence Disorder Syndrome include: black and white thinking; loving the sinner but hating the sin; an inability to see other people’s points of view; private shame and public shaming; delusions of heaven; delusions of hell; a need to always be right; having conversations in your head with God; substituting the word God for I when demanding people respect your opinion; cognitive dissonance and intellectual dishonesty; magical thinking; controlling your loved ones; disbelief in scientific facts; and a strong justification for self-absorbed selfish behavior because, you know, God.

Saying “I don’t watch/listen to/read non-Christian media because what comes in is what comes out.” = “My faith is more fragile than I’m willing to admit and if I slip a tiny bit, the whole thing will come crumbling down and I’m scared of what’s on the other side.”

Black and White thinking - also called conviction - the willingness to believe in something regardless of convenience is not a "disorder" or "syndrome" - Murder is wrong, Kindness is preferered, Adults set house rules, children do not

Loving the sinner but hating the sin - the willingness to be kind or loving is not a disorder - I understand that people get hooked on drugs, that does not make them bad, it means they're in a rough spot.  Kids act out - I love them, but not their behaviour.  This is an example of poor behaviour to you?

Delusions of heaven/hell/talking to God - This is what many religions call faith.  You call it "delusions" - who is now showing a demand that people respect your opinion above all others?

Disbelief in scientific fact - As a lettered scientist and a person of faith, I can assure you that they do not contradict each other.  I do not have to sacrifice my knowledge to have faith.

I don't watch movies that glorify rape or violence - not because my "faith is weak" as you like to mock, but because it is strong.  I will not support them with my time, or money.  And because when you surround yourself with an environment it WILL impact you.  Read the Native American story about two wolves. The winner is always the one you feed.

And at the end - OP wasn't asking for opinions on her faith, or whether we think it's of any value.  She was asking a parenting question about what you do when children don't like the house rules (such as not swearing).  

I'm going to preface this by saying that I am not religious and to be honest I think your beliefs are ridiculous, so I'm definitely not siding with you because I share a Christian point of view. However I think being tolerant to others beliefs is important. Not necessarily accommodating them in every situation, but since this is happening in your home you can make the rules regarding what does and doesnt make you comfortable as long as you're not infringing on any of their rights.

I dont think your stepkids have the right to be blatantly disrespectful to you based on religious. The snarky comments are rude and inappropriate for any topic or reason. I think it's fairly typical teen behavior but that doesnt make it appropriate and it needs to be corrected.

I do think you are within your rights to ask them not to use the Lords name in vain in your house, I dont think you have the right to tell them to never use it or to lecture them on using it (I dont know that you do, just saying). But you can tell them that language makes me uncomfortable please dont use it in my home. Same with the movies. I personally think its ridiculous but again it's your home and if it makes you uncomfortable they can watch it somewhere else. Like moms house. Or a friends house. Or when they turn 18 and move out. It's not hurting them to not be able to watch their movies, but it does bother you and you are the adult. Its not any different than a parent saying no to watching a Rated R movie (which they probably are anyway). 

Does your husband share your religious views? To me the bottom line is that you can ask your views to be respected in your own home but it needs to be coming from that point of view and not any attempt or hope that they will follow your religious beliefs. Again I dont know that you are doing that, but it seems to be a common thing that religious people have trouble accepting when others are not (my family is like this) so I'm just throwing that out there.

I think it's fully reasonable for you to set this standard. My Dh and I set limits for the skids and what is and is not allows in our home. We're not smashing their choices, we don't force religion on them, but we have things we don't tolerate from them. Disrespect, swearing from them (bad habit to start now), etc. We don't allow them to watch certain movies and we have a rule that for now, they have to remain on kid's YouTube.

Ultimately it's your home. So long as you're beling tolerant of their beliefs, I think it's fully reasonable for you to keep those things from your home. For me those movies aren't religious based, they're just horror movies, but if you have a strong belief against them, then I don't see why they shiould be in your home. This isn't a religious issue in my eyes, but instead it's a household rule. I think that your DH should enforce and that religion needs to be taken fully out of this one. If it's simply something not allowe din the home, regardless of reason, then it's a household rule, not a religious rule.

I do think all your skids could use a lesson on religious tolerance though. Have your DH handle that and have a set consequence. Regardless of their beliefs, you shouldn't mock others for theirs.

It always is both saddening and upsetting to me when others attack a person of Faith, we knew it would happen, we were told it would happen but still it is upsetting.

The really sad part is that this wasn’t about Faith, this was about house rules and not giving in to what Skids want. The entire situation could be reworded from a Vegetarian whose Skid wanted to eat meat in their house or a Fitness Enthusiast whose Skid wanted to eat junk food and smoke in their house, the attackers here totally missed the point of the bloggers problem or actually over looked it to take the chance to poke at someone they deemed below them due to their beliefs, and that again is sad.

I realize this is an open forum but one can make the choice not to speak as well, what did you accomplish except to be rude and disrespectful to another human being, way to go, you’re the best, feel proud for stomping on someone today, hope that made your day a better one.

When I was growing up scary / horror movies were banned from our home. My parents had every right to do it because of whatever reason they want. As an adult you have every right to control the content viewed in your home. You don’t have to go into a religious rant about it and can just leave it at “I don’t feel those movies are appropriate and they are not allowed in my home.”

And believe me I’m far from religious and find your reason for banning them to be “odd” to put it kindly but that doesn’t mean you don’t have that right. My parents’ reason for banning these movies was very odd but they were allowed.

I think all of this is getting twisted because of the focus on religion.

Demanding they not “take the Lord’s name in vain” isn’t forcing you’re religion. It’s setting barriers on what is and isn’t appropriate language. Getting onto them for back talk “When corrected they start with wheedling voices……” again not wrong. Having limits on what media content is in your home? Really people are saying you can't do this?

Really all of these things are just parenting. I don’t think children should be allowed to back talk. I don’t think cursing is acceptable. I don’t think you’re hurting children by demanding they respect your rules.

My super Jew ears perked up when someone brought up meat/ dairy and Shabbat. 

No matter who walks in my home, you are pretty much forced to adhere to some parts of Judaism. My kitchen is kosher and has to stay that way. No pork, no cheese on my meat plates, keep the meat on the correct shelf in the fridge. My pagan-ish best friend, her Buddhist leaning husband, my native dad and Christian stepmom all respect the rules in my home. They are not Jewish but care about me enough as a human to care about what fulfills my soul. I do the same for them.

this whole conversation isn't about religion. It's about respect. If you replace Christian or Jewish with any other word -Hispanic, woman, disabled- then the skids' open mocking would be a hate crime. Because it's hateful and rude and nasty. 

It seems like there are some issues that the skids have with Christianity. It might be worth discussing them with kiddos, because they seem conflicted.

But, like others are mentioning, this is really mainly about respecting you in your home. Not talking to you all weekend while in the home with you? Well I know how that feels, and it feels horrible. That needs to be addressed pronto. 

Are you certain that the cross initiated all this negative behavior? That it is tied to their mother becoming a non-religious lesbian? Perhaps it is coming from somewhere else... just a thought. I dont know the background of your step parenting experience thus far.

Personally, as a Christian and Catholic, I feel that movies depicting demonic possession are interesting, because they bring religion and God back into the real world. But I also concur that demonic possession and summoning demons as "entertainment" are probably generating some negative energies. I recal that when Toxic Feral Eldest left, it was like the energy somehow became "lighter", and "cleaner". Munchkin noticed the whole energy shift as well. So I do believe that household energies are a thing not to be trivialized.

When Toxic Feral eldest tried to curse in front of us (17 1/2, she almost adult right?) we shut that down. I personally feel that cursing in the right setting is ok, but I also dont like taking Lords name in vain. When cursing, in mixed company, it can be offensive and impolite. These cretins who probably already KNOW its wrong, that you dont appreciate it and do it to push your buttons? Shut that down right away.

Movies being banned - well, its your house and your rules. If its offensive to the person living there who pays the bills and supports the household, you simply dont do it. Do it on your own time and your own "dime".

Years ago, I banned Nick and The Disney Channel from our home because Killjoy14 watched the shows obsessively, and I find most of the programming to be vapid and morally bankrupt, rotting her brain.  Back then I thought it wasn't too late for Killjoy14 to get a personality.  She threw a fit so I threatened to cancel cable altogether.  She promised to stop, but you know.  Feel free to ignore everything I say...

Then I disengaged.  I came home from work Friday to find Killjoy14 watching trash again, so I mentioned to DH that Killjoy14 was "watching vapid, morally bankrupt programming again".  He said he'd say something to her, but I was like, "nah, don't bother, vapid and morally bankrupt is what she likes, and it's too late to change that now...I just don't want to see or hear it."

I guess what I'm trying to say is you are the adult and you can set limits.  But I don't think what the kids are doing is going to cause the amityville horror to happen in your house, and your faith may be weak if you are really afraid of that.  Letting them know they are pushing your buttons is giving them incentive to continue doing what they are doing moreso than ignoring them.

It reminds me of my neighbor, back when Harry Potter was a craze, her kids came over and watched it at our house with my kids because their mother forbade them to.  They lost a lot of respect for her because it was silly.  I was doing laundry and trying to stay out of it.

IMHO this is little more than BM PASing the Skids in alignment with her own life choices.  She should not have to manipulate her children and marginalize the religion they were raised in, by her I might add, because of her choices in partners.  Her choice ....  which there is nothing wrong with.

Where she is wrong is in manipulating the Skids.

Good grief, what does it matter what the reason is WHY she doesn't want demonic movies in her house? It's her house. Her husband backs her up. End of discussion. Kids don't get to make the rules.

My mother didnt let me cuss around her simply because she didn't want hear it. My SF required me to put my shoes in my room simply because he didn't want to see them in his living room. In neither instance did my cursing or shoes in the living room have any impact on the life of my parents, but it was their house and I was a kid, so I did as I was told. Period. Dot.

OP isn't making the kids go to church or pray over dinner or read the Bible every night. She's saying no one - herself and DH included - will watch Satanic movies in her home. Seems pretty fair.

And for the record, I DESPISE organized religion. But my home is my home. I pay half the mortgage, and my rules carry just as much weight as DH's. If he disagrees with it, then we'll chat. But if it's his kids? Sorry boys, until your name is on the deed, you get ZERO say in the rules, even if you think they're dumb.

Telling SK not to watch something on TV. Is not forcing relision on them.  They can go someplace and watch what they want.  Just you don’t want it in your home.  It’s your home, you paid the bills, it’s your rules.  It’s basically that simple 

Really weird that you're equating BMs sexuality with a lack of interest in going to church or practicing religion. 

Also it's just a movie.

None of It is real *unknw*

Your faith looks weak, if such a small thing as a movie can have an impact on it. 

If you think that a movie can invite Devil/demon into your house, I am afraid you do not believe in God as our protector and force supreme. 

I believe in God and watch myself some movies like exorcist of vampires’ stories. I simply do not think these movies could break my faith, without mentioning that in the majority of such movies the bright side wins.