It wouldn't be the Dodge Demon, would it?  I have insider information on that particular vehicle.

My DH did this with a piece of crap Camaro.  I say piece of crap because it needed too much work.  He traded a decent cruiser motorcycle for it.  Guys came over from Louisiana wearing their biker gang colors that I immediately recognized.  A pistol was slid into my waistband and a second into my jacket pocket that was given to DH.  They 'forgot' that they removed the carb and intake (Edelbrock about $450).  They handed DH an unloaded shotgun.  I took the gun inside to run the serial numbers.  There were no numbers but some fresh file marks where they used to be.  DH gave them an ultimatum that they needed to either send him the parts or cash or he would be turnng them in.  I may or may not have accidentally shown them the fact that I was packing.  They sent a money order 2 days later.  Camaro sat in my driveway for 6 months then went to the junkyard.

Separate accounts, because I see no reason why you should help finance his grossly expensive folly.  My DH is also 54 and although he has a very good pension ahead of him, would not dream of frittering this kind of money away on a car.  Just the depreciation alone is really eye watering.    No savings and no pension?  No brainer.  

Dang, woman, separate your accounts ASAP.

I cannot believe your DH owes his friend, but wants to go deeper into debt that he cannot afford. Gaaaaaah!!!

Question for your DH... What would happen if YOUR money was no longer available? Nothing in life is set in stone. A tornado could swoop down out of the sky, sweep away your work building, and you'd be out of a job. You could be abducted by aliens. He is counting on YOUR salary to help him finance HIS toy, but YOUR salary is not HIS option.

Yes, separate your finances from him as he has separated from his senses. And I think your wallet comment was right on the money!

Oh, I remember these fights with my XH. It would start with him finding some new shiny that he just *had* to have. I was the budgeter, and we were either poor college students or poor young adults (and not poor because of me; poor because XH took time off from college and worked a low-wage job that he'd give up hours at because he hated it). I'd usually say no.

Then he'd start bargaining. We could make payments! He would work all his hours! He'd get a second job!

Then he'd move to anger. He had his own money that I couldn't tell him what to do with! We bought things I wanted all the time (yeah, that $7,000 motorcycle really compares to my clearance $5 shirt)! I wasn't his mother and couldn't tell him no (but his credit wasn't good enough to finance anything alone so he needed me on board)! I was just a b*tch! He threw the expense of our wedding at me once, saying I spent all the money that we got after his mom died on it. He apparently forgot that I saved for 3 years to pay for our wedding and that he bought a motorcycle, television, and game system with that money. We used maybe $1,000 on the wedding.

Then he'd be depressed, and I'd usually cave. If I didn't, he'd badger me like a small child until I finally snapped and said yes to shut him up.

In our short marriage, we bought 2 motorcycles, a (albeit cheap) sports car, 2 large televisions, 2 expensive bicycles, a $2,400 gaming computer, and a handful of new cell phones for him (I kept a flip phone until about 3 years ago). The only things I had to show for it at the end were a maxed out credit card and the older of the two televisions. He kept the sports car, the new television, and the bikes (I gave him back mine to sell because he still owed a paltry amount on them). I lived with my parents for nearly 2 years while I paid down debt and rebuilt my savings so I could buy a house, and that rat b***ard had the audacity to cry to me about how he couldn't afford to pay for anything despite being left with literally 1/7th the debt that we had because it was the only thing in HIS name. I even had to pay our mutual friends $80 because they bought him a game and he said he'd "pay them back" but never did. The friend he lived with would even call me because he'd be behind on rent and wanted to know if I knew of any reasons why he couldn't pay rent!

You're doing the right thing by saying no. If he wants it, he can finance it. If he can't afford it, then he can get a second job. The Bank of SU is not open for business.

Separate finances immediately!  If he is so blinded by the sparkly new sports car that he can't exercise financial sense, you need to do so for your own protection and sanity.  Is it possible to fail FPU? It doesn't sound like your husband was a star student there.

Bhahaha! Your comment about the wallet! Nope! Not bad at all!

I'm sorry he's so frustrating... My DH gets stupid things in his head too that he wants... And then it's like he can't drop it.

Definitely separate finances.

DH and I have always had separate finances. It does not keep us from being a team but it does allow him to see what he can and cannot afford, what he does (or does not have) in savings. Luckily, he is not into sports cars or other high priced things. He did fall in love with a Camaro once, when we were car shopping for me, but he knew it was not a possibility and it's never been an issue (just a fantasy).

Like me, DH does not like to be in debt, so financing a luxury item would be out of the question.

You need to do what you need to do so that it's not possible for your husband to do this. Don't let him drag you into debt, especially when he has no retirement. What is he thinking?

Mid 50's and no retirement?? Yet wants to buy a sports car?? Mid life crisis anyone? Tell him to get his f'ng priorities straight!

And I thought my SO was ridiculous because this weekend he showed me a picture of an X-box and said that he's probably going to buy it. I said, Wait! We need money if we find a house we want to buy (we have to have a certain amount in savings in order to get the loan we want, plus closing costs, etc. I'm honestly not sure how much he has saved since we don't share finances- I just know what I have, but I do need him to contribute to the house costs). He flipped out on me, got all mad cause I was "telling him he couldn't buy something with his own money". FFS. I was merely wanting to explain the costs we need to buy a house, since I hadn't gone into detail with him yet. I wanted to make sure he was aware before he spent money on a flipping X-box. He then made a comment about how I was spending money on us going away for the wknd (I insisted on paying since it was my idea, but we've had this planned since Feb), and that was something that "once we go, it's done...an X-box will always be there". REALLY??? Yes, an X-box that YOU play, SO, whereas the weekend away is something we both get to enjoy. Or at least I thought we would both enjoy it. Apparently it was just me wanting to go. GRR.

The moral of the story, I would kill my SO if he pulled the crap your DH is, if we shared finances.

tell me he wants to buy this sportscar to show off in front of good for nothing SS (his mini-spouse)

MUST?
He MUST have a kick in the pants!
Your DH is being incredibly irresponsible.
It is clear who has the brains in this marriage...

And a jet plane,   But I can’t afford them.   This is a problem that is not going away.  This is how DH is wired. Not only should you separate your money.  But you have to control his. He gets an allowance, each week and can do with that what he wants.  I see and here, many people at retirement age, or really to old to work, losing there homes. Trying to make it on social security only.  Moving in with there kids, going into public housing.  Because they did not plan for there retirement.  Don’t get be one of those people 

I find it very disturbing that your DH would consider buying a fancy new car before repaying a loan from his friend who bailed him out when times were tough.  That is not a display of good character, and I would be mortified, as it sounds like you are.  

I want to divorce your DH and I'm not even married to him. Financial stuff would be a deal breaker for me.  DH and I are mid-50s too, and I regularly freak out about possibly eating cat food in retirement, and we both are frugal and are overpaying all debts to get rid of them. And we have retirement savings.

Is it a Corvette? Middle-aged men in Corvettes is such an unattractive stereotype (to me).

"he owes one of those friends $5k from before we met"

Red flag.  Descent people are uncomfortable owing money to friends and seek to pay it off asap.