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ToxicTroll Rant

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 1:34pm

Just a rant*** for ease-of-use-and-reading I am listing a few here:

  1. School Doesnt matter
  2. Grades
  3. Bunny#2

1. School doesnt matter

ToxicTroll has never graduated from high school. She left after 11th grade. She has been keeping Munchkin SD12 out of school here and there, for reasons such as "she has a headache" and "the grandparents are visiting (thats todays)".

Side rant: Gramps is retired with $$$ and step Gma works. Why cant they visit when its the weekend? Is there something pressing? Something just doesnt sit right with this. The immediate need to celebrate all her court case victories? More court case stuff on the horizon? 

When SH texted that she cant miss so much school, ToxicTroll texted back "well she got all As and 2 C's, shes doing good". Translation :" encourage the kid to be mediocre like me, a victim like me, and shut the eff up you are just the sperm donor".

Which leads to rant #2. Grades

When I ask DH how she knows about the grade status, and he doesnt, his reply is "she must have gotten them mailed out to her". I ask "and she didnt tell you?" he replies "nope". I tell him that she is treating him like he is nothing, just a sperm donor who must pay and pay and pay. His repsonse was a little surprising "just like the courts". Yup. Im thinking, isnt there a way to obtain a progress report card via email? So both parents if divorced can get them without relying on each others communication skills?

Normally Munchkin is an all A with a B here and there, but this is 6th grade, Middle School, so its probably harder. ToxicTroll just doesnt believe education is all that important, I guess, and DH is much more strict on that, to the point where he will call the teacher and speak with them directly.

#3 Rant - Bunny #2

So, Ive read here and now am experiencing "the great equalizer" effect of child support payments. We have a 3-bedroom house with yard, and ToxicTroll rents a crappy 2-bedroom apartment with a pool. Munchkin SD12, who loves animals, has her rabbit at our place, access to mine when she wants, a dog, 2 birds. So of course she needs ANOTHER rabbit at BMs place, because she spends 50% of time there too. When she got it, she called DH asking if we "have an extra cage", for something. I said nope, absolutely nothing is going there for a pet at ToxicTrolls place. Not food, not anything but the clothes on her back. 

It galls me that ToxicTroll cries so poor, no food, but has money to get new bunny. cage and food and supplies. Well, my only positive feelings are that it is making Munchkin happy, ToxicTroll gets to take care of bunny, and clean poo and pee, and buy food, and remind Munchkin to take care of bunny, when shes there. 

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 1:38pm

If it does go back to court. You could probably get her on educational neglect... Just saying.

As for the bunny. That poor thing... Do you think ToxicTroll is going to bother to actually care for it???

Also it's similar to Psycho... Cries poor... Thinks we should fun everything, won't pay CS. BOOM! Buys a forking full blood chihuahua, SD9 says for a "lot" of money (that could mean a lot of things). But if you're that badly off, probably not the time to purchase another pet!

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 1:59pm

How to prove, except take detailed notes, and put on a calendar.

Pure gbreds with papers are generally over $1,000. Without they are in the hundreds. For the bigger dogs, I dont know about the small. It seems the smaller they are, the more expensive.

Yea Munchkin needs another pet like she needs a hole in the head. But I try to understand, she needs %100 of pet ownership...or something, right?

The crying poor I think will bite in the butt soon. Winter is coming.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:20pm

Anything you have in writing, also you can go to the school for an attendence record. They keep those on hand. So if your DH messaged her wondering why the fudge SD wasn't in school and she goes "I have a headache" or some crap, then you have it. Plus unless it was a doctor thing I think they classify different in the actual attendence system most of the time. So if she checked her in with no excuse besides "running late." quite a bit, then the school would know. 

I think smaller is more expensive if I'm not mistaken... So basically just throwing money around.

Sh emight think she does. But if it's not feesable or going to be good for the pet, then I don't know that she really does. We don't have individual pets for the skids. We have two dogs. They really want a cat. But they don't even help with the dogs, so we're weary to get anything else.

Winter sounds like it's barrelling towards her right now.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:25pm

The Girhippo lets particularly the youngest two skip classes, go truant and not do any homework/classwork then wrings her hands and gets them labeled as "learning disabled--other."  They then can "pass" with IEP/Safety Net standards aka failing grades from 55-64.  Her community, the courts and her family thinks she is MOTY.
 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:42pm

That sucks. I think our system is SO broken. And seriously sick women should not procreate.

STaround's picture

Submitted by STaround on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 1:47pm

Why do I think the Cs are in English and Math, and the As are in PE, etc? 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 1:55pm

Munchkin is a REALLY good artist, so Im sure that she got an A there. But really? Dont parents have duty to discuss progress reports with each other when coparenting?

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 4:56pm

about other schools, but this one DOES! Not having children, I am way behind on the current school systems. I went to their website, after confirming with DH that he is on board with it, and found that I need an access code, which is reasonable. Called school to get the access code and was told that I cannot receive it, only ToxicTroll and Dear Hubby are on the record for it, which is fair. Texted DH that he needs to call x number, and select option x, and then ask for x. Now just waiting on him to get that and we are IN.

I told him I am signing him up so that he no longer needs to depend on ToxicTroll for communications regarding his child. So that he can be as involved a parent as he wants to be. 

Thank you, everyone for mentioning this!!!!!! You all are awesome Biggrin

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:26pm

Many schools have an online system where grades are posted - you can see individual grades, running grades, missing assignments, etc.  Does your school have such a thing? Is your husband signed up for it? I wouldn't rely on the BM; your H needs to be proactive on this.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:40pm

I saw something in Munchkins packet with respect to a online portal. I am definitely going to check it out! thanks.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 3:19pm

Dad needs to get himself to the school. If the school has an online portal, he needs to get an account on it. If it doesn't, he needs the teachers (each and every one) to have his email and be told that he should be copied on every email about his child. (The school can give him the teacher names and emails. He can do a group email, introduce himself, and tell them to add him to their email list.)

The school should provide him with a copy of the latest report card / progress report and attendance info.  (And if they are mailed home they should mail him a copy too in the future.)

FERPA.   https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/parents.html

ToxicTroll texted back "well she got all As and 2 C's, shes doing good". 

I'd be tempted to send back:    FYI    She's doing well. Good is an adjective. Well is an adverb.

 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 4:57pm

I am SO on this. Signing him up as we speak! 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 5:32pm

Of his A**. TO get to school to get to get pass codes to get into his child’s  porthole.  And you are blaming it all on BM ?  You DH is such a concerning parent that he doesn’t have two hours to do something for his kid.   Poor SD, she is going to be a lost child.  You can’t do more that the bio parents,  poor kid 

cjacks03's picture

Submitted by cjacks03 on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 5:38pm

I know in our situation, there's been some conditioning there that there's always conflict if my SO tries to step in and be a part of these things and it creates hesitancy to step in where he has a right to be making decisions or being aware. I don't know if this is similar for Clove, but I can attest that we've definitely struggled with that and I tend to be the one to push and to say 'screw trying to be conflict free' - SO is very conflict reistant, so I try to help balance that by pushing him out of that fear or safety zone he's created out of self-preservation.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 7:30pm

he is just not much of a techy. when she received a bad grade from a teacher, he called and spoke with the teacher directly. He is definitely not one to shirk his repsonsibilities. Harry, if you were to read my past blogs, youd get the picture on the ToxicTroll. She has been very abusive to DH in the past - physically as well as verbally and emotionally. She treats him like he is the worst father ever, but just recently in court admited to the judge hes a good father. She has major communication issues, and things get sent to her and she wont mention anything about it. But if she wants something from him, she is VERY communicative.

He does everything for his children, has done everything he can for them. the yougest is very sweet and sensible. She is a very happy kiddo, at least that is what she is telling me!

I will help him sign up for portal, then we wont have to bother her at all.

cjacks03's picture

Submitted by cjacks03 on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 5:34pm

DH sometimes sits on the sidelines of these things (school/grades, being part of extracurricular sign ups/decisions, etc) and you need to push him to find strategies to feel like it's his 'right' to be involved? You getting the info on Portal and helping him get signed up sounds like so many familiar conversations I've had with my SO on other topics. Sometimes I get the sense that he doesn't feel like he has the right or that it's not his role. I always have a difficult time navigating those conversations and pushing him to feel like those decisions should be made jointly and not ruled by just bio mom.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 7:35pm

He is the one who sent Munchkin to science camp, and sold the candy bars to do it. He does all back-to-school shopping, winter/summer shopping, transportation, etc. He is a strong personality, but yes, I often "suggest things" and he'll recognize a good idea, and go with it. I probably care more than I should, but darn it, ToxicTroll is such a GUBM. She treats hiim badly, texting him and yelling at him, that Ive seen this past 4 plus years. And how she treated her men, and her eldest daughter, same thing. 

I suggest, but have to be ok with him not moving forward if he doesnt feel its the best thing.