I was previously posting under a different account. I needed to take a step away from here for awhile so I deleted all of my blogs and the account. Some of you will recognize my story. My old username was Daenerys.

Timeline of events:

Easter weekend: DH gives DD7 and SD11 trouble for not listening. He ended up giving each of them a nudge on the bum with his foot and telling them to get up off the floor. They were both giggling at him the whole time. 

One hour after SD goes home: BM emails DH to accuse him of abusing SD. He told her to call him to discuss it; she didn't. 

The next day: BM reports DH to CPS and the police. Neither authority does anything because they can tell the situation has been exaggerated.

SD's next two visits: BM emails DH to say SD isn't coming for her visit because she's "scared".

Mid-April: DH receives court papers and BM's affidavit accusing us of all kinds of heinous things, including physical and emotional abuse. She took everyday situations, twisted them and blew them out of proportion (DH joking around with SD is "bullying", SD choosing to sleep on a bed in our toyroom after DS2 was born is "neglect" and "abuse", etc.).

Early May: They go to court and a supervised visit is ordered for the following weekend along with counselling for SD. We see SD for two supervised visits in May. We're not sure how this happened based solely on BM's accusations with nothing to back them up. DH's lawyer was away so someone stood in for him which could have been part of the problem.

Mid-May: BM emails DH to ask when he wants his 3 uninterrupted weeks of summer visitation with SD. DH asks how she can accuse him abusing SD a month ago and then so readily offer him access for such a long time. She says, "SD just needs to discuss a few more things with the counsellor. She'll be fine by August."

Early June: DH tells the counsellor he's not doing supervised visits anymore because our family members think the situation is ridiculous and they don't want to perpetuate the idea that we need supervision. The visits are unwarranted and our two children end up being upset afterwards because they don't understand why SD doesn't come to our house anymore. He also mentions how bizarre it was for BM to offer summer visitation so soon after making all the claims against us.

Current:

We haven't seen SD since mid-May. She was supposed to come in June when my mother in law was visiting but BM claimed she was "stressed" so she didn't come. SD continues to tell the counsellor that she wants supervised visits faciliated by "Auntie C" (my sister), but my sister is very busy and thinks this whole thing is silly. The counsellor has said we should just go and do something fun and not talk about the issue at hand, but my sister is only willing to do the visits if they are productive, meaning we talk to SD about what she's thinking and what's going on.

My husband is not the most assertive person. He's a trades guy and he tends to feel inferior to people with formal education, like counsellors and lawyers (although I'm an accountant and he knows I'm just a normal person). We've gotten fed up with the counsellor continuing to contact him after he told her he doesn't want to work with her anymore because it's getting him nowhere. I get the impression she likes dragging things out because it means more business for her. She dangles a carrot in front of him by saying "SD says she missed you", but then goes back to making him feel like a criminal by saying he can only see SD with supervision for now.

Last week, out of the blue, DD7 sat at the dinner table and just burst into tears. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I miss SD so much. Why doesn't she come anymore?" I've stayed out of everything involving the lawyers and counsellor until now, but after seeing how hurt my DD was, I decided to do something since my husband is just letting everything stay in limbo.

I called the counsellor to ask what is going on and what the plan is. She told me she had a plan but my husband backed out on it by not doing supervised visits. I explained how difficult it is for our kids to do the visits and that my family thinks this whole thing is unecessary and ridiculous. They're also concerned that BM could start implicating them in some way if they are involved.

Then she asked the question I was waiting for: "What's your relationship with BM like?"

I said: "I've never met her."

The counsellor was shocked. I explained that I've reached out to BM several times over the years. Any time she came up with some kind of accusation against me, she would email my husband about it, then I would email her to ask to meet so that we could address her concerns. I would tell her I want to get along for SD's sake. She never replied to me, only to my husband to further accuse me of trying to steal SD.

So the counsellor suggested that I email BM once again and copy her (the counsellor) on the email. She said we could have a meeting at her office (with her as the facilitator) to discuss BM's concerns and figure out how to move forward. I sent a very nice email a couple of hours ago, explaining how this is impacting many family members and that this is the most productive way to resolve the situation. The counsellor already replied to all of us to say this is a great idea and that communicating the way I suggested is the best way to work this situation out.

If BM meets with me, great. Maybe we can sort something out and she can see I'm not the awful person she wants me to be. If BM declines the meeting, then DH to take her back to court, which he's seriously considering doing now.