Dysfunctional BBQ, politics and a drunk BIL. Happy freaking 4th of JULY. LOL

I love your plan to find your zen tomorrow. Good for you.

Why can he not tell you who is coming?
How are you supposed to properly cater for people?

The event you describe sounds like a nightmare.
Good luck and get a wine buzz on early

Politics are a no-no at family get-together for my family. An unspoken rule, really. Nothing officially ever banned it, it's something we just don't do and know better than to start.

A drunk BIL? Keep him away from the grill. Would ruin the event if the fool went up in flames. 

I don't mind cooking and preparing for , example eight people , when I'm guessing perhaps only four will show. It gives plenty of leftovers the household will eat up the next day. However I certainly would not be amused to "expect company" such as 20 people and have only four or five. 

Way too hot here to be staying/playing outdoors. Yeah, 105 to 110 heat index isn't something I expect elderly or young ones to sit out and/or play out in. It's ok if anyone thinks my family are wimps. We have a lovely large enclosed sun porch which looks out over my back gardens (with air condition, yep, wimp to the core, lol) and it runs into the kitchen so it makes easy entertaining. 

My wimpy DH has the patio area with grill outside his air conditioned work shop addition to the garage. He plops himself inside work shop and runs out the side door to check on grill. 

May you find some enjoyment out of your BBQ efforts for yourself tomorrow. Bright side, you get good food and good wine along with your littles. Let DH entertain his company. 

it’s “best to expect company.”

Pardon my French, but.... WHAT A CROCK OF SHITE. Stop being passive-aggressive and SPIT IT OUT, DH.

Momjeans, in your place, I'd be pleasantly buzzed before everyone arrived, AVOID FIL and BIL, and spend the majority of my time in the kitchen, guarding my wine. {{hugs}}

I love getting into giant political debates with my family! It is so funny to me! 

Anyway, good luck! Drink lots and lots of wine and it will all be over soon!

LOL, so wait drunk BIL is 'bad' but drunk SM on wine is good/ok?

Meh, girl-sounds like half or 3/4 of family 'issues' in most holiday family gatherings in the US. Not that big a deal.  Try and join the fun-if you can't beat em' join em' ha~

As to politics- sometimes my family does- but honestly since they're all polar opposite of me I just find myself frustrated w/their ignorance and lack of care. 

Honestly... I think I would probably be low-key figuring out little passive digs I could get in.  Like with the drunk BIL regale him with stories of friends who have drunk relatives.  "I was talking with my coworker and it was so funny... her uncle showed up to her wedding completely stundered.. he got up to dance and fell flat on his face into the cake..imaging someone actually doing something like that???"

Same with MIL.. "Oh.. gosh my friend's ex is a drunk and she is so afraid to have to send her child to his house for visitation... just knowing how he will pawn the kid off on any old person.!"

And maybe with the politiker you could come up with a private drinking game every time he uses some crude reference.. or give it to 10 of them.. then you get to excuse yourself.

No large quantities of food.  Make all your side dishes for the number of people you know are coming.  When he drags in another 10 people just shrug when you run out of food and say "Wish you'd told me how many were coming."