It's the annoying, mean, b&tc%y, worthless wheel that gets the grease, apparently...
And that would be BM. It must be so nice to be able to still have your ex-husband by the short and curlies and have him do your bidding within a 5 second yelp of your harpy voice. We are still on this BS about him driving back and forth to BM new house (over an hour away from her old place) pretty much EVERY Sunday evening to pick up SD8 because she feels she is entitled to it, and she shouldn't have to "waste" her gas and have to bundle up her 2 other crotch droppings to meet halfway. I am so tired of her crap! Because her life is SOOOO hard not having to work, only having to take SD 2 days a week, and not having to pay anything towards her well-being. She never worked when she was with SO either!
I am so freaking tired and burnt out! I work full-time, and take care of 2 kids who have special needs that HAVE to have medical care and I have bills to pay, and for that to happen I have to work! Where does she get off doing NOTHING, no, LESS than nothing if that is even possible!? While I help support HER freaking kid that she walked out on 5 or more days per week?
The thing that burns me up most of all is that BM is a manipulative, lazy person who gets what she wants by being a complete crazy @$$ b$t#@ and hurting other people. While I have to work SOOO hard and try so hard to be good and fair, and I get dumped on! I am so tempted to just adopt her way of life! Maybe if I did that 2 weeks from now I could be couch-surfing and eating bon-bons all day and having SO buy all my pretties for me.
I got nothing else to say, just needed to get that out, because when I tried to talk to SO he tried to tell me that I was making a "big deal" out of nothing. Well, thanks. Thanks for telling me HOW I SHOULD FEEL. You are free to disagree with me, but not to tell me how I should feel.
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So he hasn't entirely learnt
So he hasn't entirely learnt the reason WHY he isn't with his ex anymore... Hmmm.. WANKER!
My response to his comment: How about THIS for a big deal? When you want me to go with you in the driving snow to pick up your kids... sorry. I will be sitting at home keeping warm. When your ex whines about NEEDING something don't look at me for support or commiseration. After all, YOU slept with her not mw.
Nah, he's a wanker.
Never try to be "good and
Never try to be "good and fair" when you are dealing with a deceptive snake.
I already stay home But it
I already stay home
But it is a disruption and inconvenience to our family unit for him to spend half of Sunday evening transporting SD home when we have things that need to be done here, and I get left to do it.
Normally I would not use the term wanker, but I think it fits. I think he is actually afraid of her!~ He always talked about how she is so crazy and bi-polar and this and that, but she got her way, STILL getting her way with that act! I am so close to being done with making nice. He has not even filed his taxes from last year, FFS! Because BM already fraudulently claimed SD, and she is going to be audited by the IRS. But he'd rather OWE taxes than get a return cause BM will get angry and do heaven knows what? This is the stupid crap I get angry about, and get sick of dealing with...
I hear you. I've been there
I hear you. I've been there for sure. This is the same exact crap that I dealt with until we moved six hours away from GUBM. The crazy became more bearable with the distance and with SO's newly found backbone, that's for sure. But, it was a constant point of contention in our relationship until SO grew that backbone and started to stand up to GUBM. I only wish he had learned how to do that before we moved so far away from SD :/ Every time GUBM would amp up the crazy, SO would give into her and do whatever she wanted. Obnoxious.
Less than a year into our relationship, GUBM took SD and moved 2 hours south of where we were living two months after getting a DUI. So, SO had to do all of the driving every weekend that he wanted to see her. 8 hours every weekend that SO would be gone if he was lucky when it came to traffic. And, it didn't stop after she got her license back. She would just hint at the idea of telling SD that he didn't want to see her in the middle of her crazy ranting about hot it's unfair of him to expect her to facilitate a relationship between him and his daughter and SO would drop everything and run and get SD.
It went on for a year and a half until we moved. It meant that I got no time with him on Friday evening without SD in tow. He worked all day Friday and would just head straight down to pick SD up after his hour and a half commute home from work, sometimes stopping home to get a cup of coffee for the car. So, if I was lucky, I'd get five minutes with him. And since I had a class Saturday morning I was usually asleep by the time they got home. Sundays were just as bad. He'd take SD and head off on his four hour round trip and we'd get maybe an hour together before either one of us had to go to bed. It was infinitely frustrating due to the fact that SO enforced no bedtimes with SD, so, she was often up well after her bedtime. It was absolutely ridiculous having no SO for 8 hours every weekend and having 0 quality adult time when SD visited. Luckily, because GUBM flashed her crazy and decided that SO having SD every weekend was too much of a disruption to SD's routine (meaning that she was tired of hearing about how much fun she had visiting SO every Sunday night), SO's weekends turned into EOWE, so, after a while I did get some adult weekend time.
And, much like your BM, the first year we were together, GUBM claimed SD on her tax returns even though she didn't make enough money to be required to pay taxes. What a tool. It's extremely frustrating that these women can out-crazy themselves and have everything handed to them on a platter by these guys.
Hopefully it will stop or at least lessen for you.
Truth. That was SO's deal. He
Truth. That was SO's deal. He just wanted to see his SD. It royally sucks that all he did was reinforce the crazy in GUBM by giving into her ridiculous demands. He had no other choice in the matter as he did not have (and still does not have) a custody agreement with GUBM. He had no way to protect himself against her demands. And he bought into all of it.
"Oh, what, GUBM? If I want to see SD this weekend I have to drive you an hour away from your house and drop you off on a date? OK"
"So, what you're saying GUBM is that if I want to see SD this weekend, I have to pick both of you up and drive you to Trenton so you can get your license back, then, drive you back home before going home with SD? OK"
All because he wanted to have a relationship with his kid. I'll never hold that against him. I hold the crazy against GUBM. Because she manipulated the ish out of him and damaged SO and SD in the process. It's no wonder SD is so weird and acts so horribly now when she visits. She's taught her that SO is just a puppet that can be manipulated, and, when he can't be manipulated, all you have to do is out-crazy yourself until he gives in to your demands. It's just unfortunate because I'm not sure how much more of this SO is willing to put up with himself.
I would be more understanding
I would be more understanding of the fear if he DIDNT have custody, and she was actually in a position to actively manipulate him, but SD lives here most of the time. BM should be paying US child support, but they waived it in the divorce decree. HE has all the rights, but SHE is calling all the shots.
Maybe he's afraid that she'll
Maybe he's afraid that she'll try to get custody and take SD away from him if he doesn't placate her? Just speculating here.
I know what your're saying,
I know what your're saying, and you are probably right, but I hate action constantly motivated by fear.