BM files for an increase in child support...ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE!
DH gets a certified mail from BM requesting an increase in child support. Now, mind you that we don't mind an increase in child support, but DH just saw BM the end of March to drop off SS for a visitation. Couldn't she have given him a heads up? We have always been accomodating and anytime she has asked for money for football, clothes, shoes, etc...we have always paid it and we have NEVER complained about it. It just goes to show how sneaky she is.
Ok, this is where I need advice from all the experienced ladies on this site. DH nor I have ever been served with anything. The papers that were served listed DH's employer on there, but didn't list BM's employer (again being sneaky). We know BM owns her own business. We really do not want to go to court, but would rather settle it outside of court. We don't even know how to file an "Answer" to the complaint. I looked up some forms from our state and pretty much our options are:
1.) Not agree with the complaint and go to trial.
2.) We admit that we owe BM money, but not the amount stated (no amount was listed, just that she wants the child support to go by our state guidelines)
3.) We don't want a trial and agree to everything in the complaint
4.) Saying we want to sue her (which we don't)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as we have no idea what to do. If we should get an attorney or if we will be able to bring up the fact that BM has a job at our hearing. Thank you in advance!!
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Comments
are you trying to do this
are you trying to do this without a lawyer?
Did this come from the court
Did this come from the court or from BM? Does it have a court case on it, the court seal and the clerks signature?
You said DH wasn't served,
You said DH wasn't served, but the papers that were served... I'm confused. :?
Is it a certified LETTER from BM? Does CSE handle your case? Is it a petition to modify?
Help.
asheeha- we aren't sure if we
asheeha- we aren't sure if we need to get a lawyer. We are so inexperienced that's why I need advice!
VioletsareBlue-It came from the court. We have a case number.
I wouldn't recommend dropping
I wouldn't recommend dropping $$ on an attorney until they know what the state would figure...
If it turns into a court fight, it could cost a fortune.
I used an online calculator
I used an online calculator for our state and it looks like it'll go up about 350-400 dollars. It would be less if we counted BM's income. We don't know how much she makes so it is hard to figure just how much it would drop by without that figure.
Right, but she isn't listed
Right, but she isn't listed that she has a job.
Ahh...Ok. I see what you are
Ahh...Ok. I see what you are saying now.
they take W2s into account in
they take W2s into account in these situations.
we ran into that as well. Is
we ran into that as well. Is she married as well? If she has her own business she can state she doesn't make any money and claim a loss. We ran into that as well. What they did was said, you decided to open up this business and could go out and get a job for min wage x's 40hrs a week but chose not to. Also if she has another income; Via husband you can also ask that that be included in the CS configuation as well. She has to be able to make some sort of income to support herself. Try to add up any assets you know she has, for example her house, car, land, different things, this will show that she is Taking home more income then she probably claims on her income tax, they usually use the income tax's to determine her income. Keep all reciepts for what you have bought your step. if you have to provide things for your home as well like clothes, in our state it states that they should send along appopriate clothing but don't. Doccument everything. this does help down the road as well. If you are feeling lost contact an attorney for some advice first.
Thank you Daskra. She is
Thank you Daskra. She is married. She is married to the guy she cheated on DH with. We don't keep any of the clothes we buy SS, they all go to BM's house. We live out of state, so we pick up SS for visitation a few times a year and take him to MILs house who lives in the same state as BM.
Yeah, I didn't think that
Yeah, I didn't think that Step-Dad's income would be considered when figuring out child support. BM doesn't have a "job" as she does stay at home with the 2 kids that she had after SS.
^^^^^this! totally worth
^^^^^this!
totally worth it...the peace of mind alone makes it worth it.
knucklehaed-maybe I wasn't
knucklehaed-maybe I wasn't clear. we were served with these papers via certified mail, but we have never been served prior to this. It is a petition to modify the exisiting divorce decree
Oh, well, then. You've been
Oh, well, then. You've been served.
You simply type up a response and file it. You probably only have 20 days or so to do this, BTW.
You can go to: www.alllaw.com to see what the CS should be. I've always found their calculators to be pretty darn close to what gets ordered.
Good luck!
What should be said in the
What should be said in the response though? Yes, we agree to it but BM's income isn't listed on the papers or just leave it alone? We have 30 days to answer.
Thank you tog. Any idea as
Thank you tog. Any idea as to how much this will cost us?
i don't know who figures the
i don't know who figures the amount. you could try to find out.
our attorney is pretty expensive. $350/hr and $3500 retainer. :jawdrop:
but in a small town my dh once retained a lawyer for $500 $50/hr...but he didn't do anything for him either.
the average experienced lawyer in our area is $250/hr with varying retainers.
Thank you asheeha!! I guess
Thank you asheeha!! I guess we will have to look around for a lawyer in BM's state.
best to get a lawyer in the
best to get a lawyer in the county that you will go to trial! the attorneys know the judges and that is a HUGE bonus to how to try a case. judges have a crazy amount of say in such matters.
That's what I meant, sorry
That's what I meant, sorry asheeha. We would definitely get one in BM's county. I've noticed reading stuff online that judges have a good amount of discretion in these cases.
I figured we could do a
I figured we could do a consultation and see what he should be paying without BM's income included. I just don't know whether to let it go that BM is withholding her income information. If we wanted to pursue that angle, would it be best to get an attorney?
As long as it us just for
As long as it us just for child support and not custody I would just go on into court and the judge will take both incomes and child care costs and insurance costs and give you the total. I don't think I would bother with a lawyer, it will just be a waste of money. there are too many strict guidelines when it comes to CS. It will be pretty close to what you looked up online. There really isn't much you can do to fight CS. It just is what it is. The only thing I can suggest is that you try and find out what BM is really making since she owns her own business... you can hide a lot of money in a business....
We don't want to fight CS.
We don't want to fight CS. We just want to make sure BM's income is taken into account as well. She didn't list her business as her employer on the petition of modification that was served to us, that's why we think she is hiding her income.
Does it say what she wants?
Does it say what she wants? Or does it just say an increase? if there is no specified amount you should type back and say we agree to pay this amount $$$. Make it more then what you are but also put in there that CS is to cover those extra things you have been paying for. Call her out on it. Ask her if it's more important to get more money each month or is it more important to get help when she needs it because she can't have both. There is no reason to pay more money each month and then help out with all the little extra things as well. She might drop the whole thing. Tell her it didn't have what she wanted and ask her what she wants.
No, it doesn't list a
No, it doesn't list a specific amount just that it be increased to the state's standards. We know that DH's CS is lower than the state's standards ($400.00) and we have no problem upping it to like $700, but we don't feel we should go above that. The CS calculator said somewhere around $750.00, so I don't think $700.00 is unreasonable considering she has income coming in.
DH's income isn't a set
DH's income isn't a set amount a he makes overtime, but isn't guaranteed overtime. He makes anywhere from $45,000/yr to $65,000/yr gross. So, will the judge just take an average of his previous years W-2's?
dunno...we got a statement
dunno...we got a statement from dh's company saying that they do not do not have regular time with mandatory overtime, they don't want to pay overtime! didn't make any difference the judge took the weekly pay that he made on a paystub we provided and calculated that amount for 52 weeks. he had overtime on that check and so child support was figured at $5000 more than he actually is scheduled to make per year if it were calculated at $xx/hr X 40hrs/week X 52weeks/year
I see. Dh got something from
I see. Dh got something from his company saying he is only guaranteed 40 hr/week too. I see that that really doesn't make a difference. DH usually gets overtime, but it varies to how much depending on the job they have to do. That sucks that the judge only went off that paystub for your DH
yeah! OUR JUDGE SUCKS! i hope
yeah! OUR JUDGE SUCKS! i hope you get a better one. even our lawyer who has worked with this judge before said he's being lazy and crappy with this case.
Our system is totally
Our system is totally screwed! Judges should NOT be given so much discretion. I don't see how your judge (or any crappy judge) could go to sleep at night screwing people over like that.
Get a lawyer - DH and I also
Get a lawyer - DH and I also were in the boat where we didn't plan to fight BM - however, we weren't prepared to be screwed either. If she is legally entitled to something, the so be it, but we aren't going to bend over.
In our example, BM informed DH he would be paying $2500 a month to her plus daycare and medical - that is what she said was her total. I did the spreadsheet for our state and our % which is 50-50.
DH was going to pay (idiot) so I strong armed him into at least paying someone to do up the paperwork by the book. It turned out BM was to pay DH $110 a month since he was paying daycare and medical and they had a 50-50 split and BM makes almost as much as DH.
Boy oh boy did the shit hit the fan, which btw, my wonderful (idiot) DH refused the $110 a month.
Wow!! That is a huge
Wow!! That is a huge difference! What was your DH thinking refusing that $$? Boy, would I be pissed at my DH if her refused court ordered $$ from BM.
We know she is entitled to more $$, we just aren't sure if it is gonna be worth the fight bringing up her business that she didn't list.
Its called GUILT on his part
Its called GUILT on his part first, then hassle second. I partially understand the latter.
My XH pays no CS. I make a very good living, I can afford my kids. The money my XH would pay me in CS would go directly into an account for the girls and its a very small amount that for me personally, the cost of fighting to get it isn't worth it for me. However, if you don't vote you can't bitch I suppose - but I do not understand how my XH can justify choosing to not support his own 2 kids. I have asked him multiple times to setup bank accounts in lieu of CS letting him set the amount, hell, I asked him to open accounts and put $25 a month for each kid into the accounts because although I can afford my kids, I can't afford to save on top. He hasn't done it.
DH refused the money because he didn't see the point as he makes a decent living and didn't want to add insult to injury. Problem is, XH and BM are both takers type people.
DH was paying BM to pay the daycare - I had an all out hissy fit one night about it - I told him to stop letting her manage things for him, she was not his wife and he needed to start acting like a parent and pay the damn daycare directly - he was there 3-4 times a week so why in the world was he paying her to pay them?!?!?! He got all mad saying I was parnoid and such and FINE he would pay them direct.............. he told me 2 months later that I was right, she was overcharging him $200 a month. B I T C H
Never trust - get a lawyer just to keep it fair
I can see why your DH didn't
I can see why your DH didn't take the $$, but it could've at least gone into savings for their kids. Oh well, what can you do?
Your XH sounds like a deadbeat. My DH's dad is a deadbeat. All my MIL asked of him was $25.00 a week and he still wouldn't pay it. She did eventually take him to court, but she still didn't ask for all that much. I can see your viewpoint of why you don't go to court. It is expensive and not worth the hassle for some people.
That is what me and DH are trying to decide. Is it worth the hassle? Who knows if BM is even bringing home money from that business and is it even enough to make a huge difference in the amount he would be paying? We really don't have the money for an attorney right now, so I don't knnow what we are gonna do.
Before DH met me he ALWAYS took BM's word for it, whatever she said. Never asked for receipts for money he paid over and above child support (ex. football). She could've been screwing him all along just like your DM was screwing your DH with daycare costs. Men are so freaking stupid sometimes.
I would hire an attorney. In
I would hire an attorney. In my experience, they are worth every penny (especially if the BM is trying to conceal how much she makes).