Dead Beat Mom
Just finished such a long weekend with the steps that I don't even know where to start. I am convinced that because their mother is so crappy they all have some sort of complex. One has all the signs of classic Electra complex, one is suffering from severe anxiety and the 5 year old is saying things like "My doll is dead" and "I had a dream that my other mommy (her imaginary mommy) shot my real mommy with a gun."
As of today, DH is filing a motion for custody modification to be effective after this school year. Even though we would have much preferred to wait until after we had a good year with the new baby, we really have no choice because BM is completely becoming unhinged. Now we are just hoping that she can keep it together for the next three months. On Saturday night, BM sent DH the following text:
"I need you to take the girls. I can't handle it anymore. There are things going on in my life that are making it hard for me to take care of them. I give up."
He texted her that he would call her the next day to discuss. Later that night after the girls were in bed, we tried to come up with a plan as to when they would be able to move, how we would handle after school care, what to do with them during my maternity leave and during the summer, etc. When I woke up the next morning I had a revelation. BM just went to a lawyer trying to hit up DH for more CS. There is no way she is willingly going to give up that hefty monthly check. She wants attention and knows the only way my husband will give it to her is to involve his children.
Sure enough, he called her the next day and her response was “Oh well I am probably going to lose my job so I just need help during the summer while I go look for a new one. Oh and I drank a whole bottle of Jack last night so that’s why I wrote that.” Whatever. Too bad you were dumb enough to drunk text my husband and we now have that text forever.
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Comments
I can guarantee that the only
I can guarantee that the only reason our BM would ever want full custody again (we currently have it) would be to get more cs. The way it is, she still gets some even though we have custody, because she is a lazy twat who won't get a job. Lovely BM's.....
BM currently gets $1600/month
BM currently gets $1600/month from us. According to the SD's, BM is behind on all her bills, they shut off her cable, her phone bill is currently $500, they never have food, they come over asking for new pairs of pants for school, etc. She is literally drinking away not only her salary, but every cent of CS also. DH had been sending them back to her with canned food so they have something to eat during the week. In my opinion, this is just enabling her to continue to not provide for her children. SD11 told DH that she is doing badly in math because she is so busy taking care of SD5 that she has no time to do her homework or study. She is such a bullshit mother it breaks my heart for them. At the same time I don't really want them full time. They have so many issues that I am scared to leave a newborn upstairs in his nursery with them there. They all need some sort of counseling or therapy.
I would say this is the calm
I would say this is the calm before the storm. DH needs to do something for his kids. I know from where your at in all this you may not want too. I totally understand. But as their father he should do something soon. Living with drunk for a parent is not easy. At least with ya'll DH would have the money to feed them and buy the clothes they need. Sounds like Bm need to get herself some help. Sad all the way around. Good Luck (((HUGS)))
We don't want to pull them
We don't want to pull them out of school right now. With all the change that is coming we don't want to add any additional stress and changing schools in the middle of the semester would definitely add stress. We are taking custody of them beginning right after the school year ends. Given that my due date is in May, this means that instead of bonding and taking care of my first born child during my maternity leave, I will have to feed them and make sure they don't kill each other. Maybe that's selfish but I am so angry with their mother for putting us in this position.
I don't understand how someone could not even feed their children. I find myself jealous of those BM's who want more money because they have the skids in every activity imaginable. Ours just wants more money so she can get wasted. The children are in zero activities, which means they have all this energy all the time to spend fighting and clamoring for DH's attention. They are so attention-deprived that they refuse to self-entertain for even a moment. My only hope is that once we have them, the guilty daddy bullshit will stop and once they have structure and discipline they will be easier to handle.