An article about how to lose child custody
I don't read the Huffington Post often, but I saw a link to this article on another site. Seeing that this is a topic we discuss frequently here, I decided to share it with you.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacqueline-harounian/how-mothers-lose-cust...
What do you think about it? I agreed with most of it, especially about disparaging the other parent, the leaking of anger and how it's best not to do that. And I agree that more and more dads are getting 50/50 or full custody, and I think that's great. But I believe that we still live in a society where often, the BM will have to let her kids get molested or be a murderer to lose custody to Dad.
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Comments
Yes I think it is assuming
Yes I think it is assuming too much when it says that biodads get custody 50% of the time when they seek full custody. I'd say it was more like 10% when they seek full custody.
Number 5 should trump everything IMHO. So if you drink a glass of wine with your meal, that automatically rules you out for custody? Maybe for the dad but not the mom, certainly. The rule on that one is definitely lopsided.
And the "know your child's teachers" etc can be difficult if you have a psycho BM that is intent on PAS. The Behemoth had practically her entire home town give GG the cold shoulder so getting ANY info from teachers, etc. was like pulling back teeth.
Losing temper? Well it's ok for the BM to lose her temper, but dad better not.
All in all, I don't think it's worth it monetarily for a dad to go after custody. Unless the children are in great physical/mental danger AND it can be PROVEN beyond a doubt that DAD would do a better job parenting. Many dads can, but not the guilty dad.
I agree with this. Here,
I agree with this. Here, unless the mother is on drugs AND we can prove it, the children will stay with her indefinitely. She can drink every night until she passes out, leave the kids with a sitter 99% of the time, spend zero time with them, but unless she is on drugs and we can prove it, the courts won't do a thing. DH and I have joked about planting drugs in her home or sending the kids home with special brownies, but in reality even if its just a one time incident, the court still won't do crap.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. BM
Ditto, ditto, ditto.
BM has:
- Beaten SD15 with a belt (may have broken/sprained SD15's hand this last time).
- Constantly cusses SD15 out.
- Has "despairingly" told people what a bad kid SD15 is, ruining her reputation.
- Doctor shops for increasingly stronger medications for SD15; ADHD meds at 12, anti-depressants at 13, anti-psychotics at 14, and has now slung her into a mental hospital at 15.
- Doesn't (isn't smart enough to) do a damn thing about homework.
- Won't let SD15 get any type of job, instead uses her as an unpaid babysitter, maid, and cook.
- Continually tries to break SD15's spirit.
Yet, DH and I are know-nothing losers who can't be trusted. We make more money, we have a better relationship with SD15, we have the funds AND (more importantly) the DESIRE to get her out and doing things... nope, we don't even have grounds to ask for ANY custody change. The part I find bitterly funny - BM hasn't ever dealt with a teenager before. DH has been turning teenagers into adults who make smart decisions for 15 years. (Army NCO - leadership) But he's not the BM, so he's shit on her shoe.
In our CO, PB was ordered to
In our CO, PB was ordered to keep DH informed of where the skids went to school. He brought up (in court) that he didn't know which school his son was going to. Her defense was: "They are in the same school district that they have always been in. The same school district that DH went to. This is ridiculous."
Ummm...BUT, you freaking bitch, SS was going to a school that didn't EXIST a few years prior so of COURSE DH had no idea what school SS was going to. YOU violated the CO. (not for the last time either)